tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32744522024-03-13T22:58:56.245-04:00I Think To Myself What a Wonderful World...At least sometimesWendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.comBlogger318125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-28851727274789014562015-10-19T23:14:00.003-04:002015-10-20T23:26:23.047-04:00FreeI cut my hair off 9 months ago. I have to say it is one of the best things I've ever done for myself. I can't explain to you how I feel except by saying free. No one held a gun to me and forced me to get the creamy crack and if that is your voice ,I understand. <br />
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I'm just saying my experience has been on of complete joy.My journey in the beginning was frustrating because I ihad no idea what I was doing. I thiought I'd do my big chop and curls would magically appear. I thought soon after I'd have long flowing locs cascading from my head. I knew nothing of curl patterns or hair types. All I knew was that I was done with relaxers. There have been trials and missteps and what the hells? But I've come pretty far. The renewed confidence I feel in knowing no matter what I rock it's fierce,even my missteps. That just gives me freedom,freedom to rock my God given locs and not be ashamed embarrassed or anything else but me. I'm finally free. Thank God...I'm free<br />
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Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-74581761940106124462013-07-18T22:55:00.001-04:002013-07-18T23:34:42.063-04:00ScreamOk I have lost some weight. Cool right. Now I am dealing with sagging skin. I feel like a marshmallow. A brown, squishy, marshmallow.Now I have to do exercises to tighten but, not get too bulky. So I won't look like a large Michelon tire baby. At least when I was bigger I was firm. I didn't have all this<i><b> jingling baby</b></i> going on. I'M DOING THE WORK MAN!!!, but it is so hard. I knew going in that the process would be long and tough and some days I feel like. ...Forget it. I have to be honest. I feel like running out and buying a carton of butter pecan and eating the whole thing. Dairy Queen has been blowing my tv screen up! Them and every restaurant has a meal special with some delicious looking entree dancing across my screen.I rationalize it in my mind at the time that everyone is not supposed to be thin. Then I come back to myself , because I am not trying to be thin. I am trying to be healthy. I am trying dance, and walk a flight of stairs without feeling winded. I want to be comfortable in my clothes, not pulling and snatching. Whatever size that is.<br />
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With weight loss the fat that was on your body also begins to shift. So when I put my clothes on, I'm like what the hell? I'm not hating on anyone, you should feel comfortable in the skin you are in. No matter the size, but right is right and wrong is just... <i><b>wrong</b></i>. I am also losing the weight unevenly and one of these things is not like the other!!! Who the hell does this!!! My mother used to tell me .." Only you Wendy" How true these words seem. I talk to others who are on a weight lost journey and I have yet to hear anyone else complain of this. My feet lost weight!!! Yeah, that is EXACTLY where I needed to lose.Maybe I will resort to wearing coverups. Until this body decides to compromise with me.<br />
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I also have had the most tiring week, trying to explain my position on the Trayvon Martin case and verdict to those who are unwilling or unable to understand my frustration. I'm at the point now where I realize that I am beating a dead horse and I am no longer trying to have a logical conversation with these people. It's hard to believe that some people that I have known for most of my life are so bigoted and narrow-minded. I had some inkling that they were during the Obama campaign. This case has definitely drawn the line on their position and sadly, I understand even more just how divided this country is.</div>
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I've ranted enough...Be blessed peeps!!!</div>
Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-60079267629080546312013-04-18T02:19:00.000-04:002013-04-18T10:59:40.965-04:00Beautifully HumanAs far as "reality" shows go I find TI and Tiny's show to be very positive. There was however one problem child. Shicanna- Tinys hairstylist, she seemed to have no ability to behave professionally, so Tiny suggested they go to an etiquette class. The one standout, powerful point for me was when she was addressing the B word and said her mother had been calling her a bitch since she was four so it didn't phase her.<br />
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It didn't phase her. Wow, wow.<b>Wow</b>!!!! You guys know I have very <span style="color: red;"><b>SERIOUS</b></span> problems with the B word. I don't like it. I don't appreciate it and I don't care what kind of way you try to twist it into a term of endearment, It's a derogatory word, that I don't tolerate. When that word comes out of your mouth to me, I am your enemy. That's how I feel. This woman said that she had been called such since she was 4. Can you imagine how a child feels being called this? A baby. What the hell is wrong in your sick mind that you would look at a child that you carried in your womb and think that is okay? The saddest part for me is that even at her age she didn't realize that it did phase her. <b>IT DID PHASE HER!!!!</b>. She carried the stigma of Bitch practically her whole life. At some point she had to know that the definition of the word is a female dog, My mother is calling me a dog, my mother thinks I am no better than a dog. How am I to think any more of myself? How am I to learn to behave in a professional setting and use tact and decorum when I have been led to believe that I am nothing more than a BITCH?How do you process this as a child? I can't process it as an adult.<br />
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I immediately understood why she behaved the way she did. I knew this was all she knew and although her behavior was/is obnoxious and over the top, I realized that her bad behavior was a defense mechanism that she had built over the years, she's had to be on defense since she was 4. Her mother was a women in need of counsel and she had probably only done to her child what was done to her. I have heard people call their kids little bastards and muthas and thank GOD for the household that I grew up in. Don't get me wrong, we got cursed out, but not belittled, it wasn't personalized. It was the collective, foot in your asses and smacking the hell out of you type thing. People don't realize they are in charge of molding lives. They were given this blessing from God and they continue to drop the ball. I pray for this young woman. I pray that she realizes that she can change the pattern, she doesn't have to keep this mentality. She is a beautiful woman, plenty of sass. She just doesn't know and when you don't know how can you do better? Perhaps, she will see the episode and begin to understand that she needs help as well. I couldn't get into the rest of the episode because those words resonated within my soul. I couldn't imagine my mother calling me that. Even at her angriest.<br />
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We have to do better. We have to get this together. We are supposed to be above the animals, the beast the fowl in the air and the snake that slithers on its belly. We are supposed to be human. Beautifully....Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-20415870896185782782013-04-14T09:24:00.001-04:002013-04-14T09:29:10.917-04:00Wives and Lovers<br />
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<i>Hey, little girl,<br />Comb your hair, fix your make-up.<br />Soon he will open the door.<br />Don't think because<br />There's a ring on your finger,<br />You needn't try any more<br /><br />For wives should always be lovers, too.<br />Run to his arms the moment he comes home to you.<br />I'm warning you.- Dionne Warwick</i></div>
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The first time I could ever remember hearing this song was while watching the movie '<b>The First Wives Club</b>'. I'm sure I've heard it before but its the first time I actually listened to words as they related to the picture. For those of you who haven't seen the movie, it's about three ( Bette Midler, Goldie Hawn, and Diane Keaton) women who come together after the suicide of their college friend. This friend, killed herself because her husband left her for a younger woman. She couldn't live with the fact that he no longer wanted her, so she threw herself off her Manhatten balcony. Soon after all three women find themselves in the same predicament as their lost friend. But instead of killing themselves they decide to make there husbands pay, by killing them. Okay... so they didn't really plan to kill them, that's my spin on it, they planned to make them pay in the wallet. I liked it.</div>
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The chorus of the song is true. Women do get comfortable in their lives they feel they've already landed the man so why should they do anything extra. Afterall, they <b>are</b> married, and feel as though their man <i>'Ain't going nowhere'.</i> We all know this assumption is not true because men do go, it happens all day,everyday. This song was a fitting title for this post not because of the wives who become comfortable in their relationships, but the lovers. I call the lovers, the girlfriends who are content being girlfriends while doing everything a wife should do. I was once guilty of this very thing. Women share households, bills, cars and even children but never the name. Initially, it was not my plan when I entered into a new relationship after my divorce to stay with him as long as I did. I just wanted to have fun , but the more time I spent with him I began to love him. After years together I thought we should be married ,he said he did too. But he didn't, and our relationship began to suffer. I'm not placing blame on him or I. We just wanted different things and the expectation of marriage was never on the table. But as I look at the time that I spent doing everything married people do. I wonder why women become so complacent. Why do we not demand a ring anymore? Why are willing to give so much of our time and energy to relationships that will not lead to a marriage? Is it because we fear losing the man we love? That was the case with me when the M word was mentioned. I say if you are willing to do so many things <i>together </i>why not marry? Why do we allow ourselves to commit to men who are non-comittal to us? I may never have the answer but it is a question that I think women need to start asking themselves. He loves your cooking, your style,your sex, everything about you. He doesn't want to even think of you being with anyone else but cannot marry you. What is that about?I have long ago decided that the very next time I live with a man it will be my husband and I'm not saying to women that you shouldn't EVER live with a man. I believe its essential to couples to know if they<b> can</b> live together. What I am saying is the lovers should be wives too . However you have to make that clear this is what you desire in the beginning otherwise you will end up hurt because your expectation wasn't expressed early on. Once you let your desires be known and he openly says that is not his intention,please believe him and cut your loses.You won't change him. Why should you try to build a life with man who is unwilling to build one with you? And stop letting him call you his wifey, your not. </div>
Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-25466080539255084232012-11-15T12:40:00.000-05:002012-11-15T12:43:54.395-05:00Ladies FirstLadies...<br />
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<b>Educate yourself</b>- You know all the celebrity gossip, all the housewives, all the soap operas ( well you use to anyway), all the latest dance moves. all the songs and/or raps on the radio. But cannot name one book that you have read in the past year. Really?<br />
<b>Leave him</b>- I promise you will live.<br />
<b>Love does<i> <u>NOT</u></i> hurt</b>-It's not supposed to hurt. Not emotionally, not mentally or physically. If you are crying all the time with him, you might as well cry without him at least those will be <i>healing </i>tears.<br />
<b>Don't charge it!</b>- You really do have to pay for it eventually. Your credit follows you wherever you go, in whatever you do. Guard it!!<br />
<b> You wanted to have a little pretty baby- </b> There are too many <b><u>GRANDMAMA-MAMAS </u></b><br />
raising your babies while you run the street. Grandmamas unite and say this, You had them, raise them..<br />
<b> How many<i> tatoos </i>do you really need? I'm just saying.... </b><br />
On your neck, chest ,arms under your eye,hands, on your back,toes and legs?<br />
<b>Wear it well</b>- Everyone cannot wear the latest fashion trends- Please find a friend who will tell you the truth and a full-length mirror.<br />
<b>You are beautiful</b>- No matter what they say!!! Believe it!!!<br />
<b>Forgive yourself- </b>We all make mistakes, what is most important is that your learn from them and not keep repeating them.<br />
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<b> Love yourself</b>- Love only God, before yourself. You cannot leave loving you up to someone else. Be your own damn best friend, party with yourself by yourself. Dance by yourself and sing like a record deal is right around the corner. We only get this one chance so love yourself, all the time!!!<br />
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Ok, one more...<br />
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<b>Be blessed!!!</b>Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-19785917195185778752012-11-08T10:57:00.000-05:002012-11-08T12:47:50.005-05:00Imagine<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Xz3LlIfgcx0/UJvWPoCd4jI/AAAAAAAAAQQ/M4oRtiofZV4/s1600/obama.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Xz3LlIfgcx0/UJvWPoCd4jI/AAAAAAAAAQQ/M4oRtiofZV4/s1600/obama.jpg" /></a>Barack Obama, President. My President. The President of the<b> entire </b>United States of America. It is so sickening that people cannot accept that. As I listen to and read certain comments it is becoming more and more clear that these united states have definitely become so divided in the past four years and I no longer question why. I<i> wanted </i>to believe for a very long time that this was not about his race. I<i> wanted</i> to believe that people were truly at odds with his views on healthcare reform, ( beats me why people would so hate this idea but have no problem having to have CAR insurance) his foreign policy, economics, his leadership or basically anything but his race.But since his re-election bigotry has reared its ugly head in ways that I have not witnessed before. These people are not willing to compromise on any level . They damn near slap the olive branch out of your hand when extended. How can we heal as a nation when you are unwilling to compromise? When you are so consumed with hatred that you would rather see the whole shit<b> blow up </b>before you give an inch. Where does that kind of thinking come from?<br />
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Ignorance? Upbringing? Superiority complex? Entitlement? Let's talk about that for a moment. Romney's statement about the 47%... you know the one. I believe he got it wrong, lower/ middle class are not the ones who feel like the are entitled , clearly, <b>White</b> men are the ones who feel they are entitled to something. They are coming up with every excuse they can think of as to why they lost except the obvious. People would rather vote for someone who at least seems like they give a rat's ass about your well-being. Romney did not come across as being a person I think would understand my needs. He couldn't understand the struggles of the average american. He has not had to struggle for anything. He also had some other issues , that let me know wholeheartedly that I would have never voted for him. <i><b><u>But had he won</u></b></i>.... Yeah , I would have been heartbroken,and I would have been angry but I would have also had to accept the fact that he was the President. My President. The President of these United States.I would have adapted.<br />
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How do we move forward? How do we begin to heal? Do we continue on this path of destructive thinking or do we come together and rebuild this nation. He is after all, going to be President for the<b> next four years</b>. My President. Your President, of these United States. Imagine if we all worked together as one.<br />
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Be Blessed peeps!!!Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-52456152968302883182012-09-20T07:22:00.001-04:002012-09-20T07:29:59.061-04:00WonderfulYesterday we celebrated my fathers <b>75th</b> birthday. He had a great time. It was the first time that we had taken him out to do so without my mom. Without his better half. You have to understand that my father was already the type that<b> NEVER</b> wanted to go anywhere, mostly because he is not a people person, so getting him out was for the longest like pulling teeth. To make the job even more impossible our beloved family pet died yesterday. So I just <b>KNEW</b> he was going to say <b>"Hell no , I won't go!</b>" But he surprised me. I watched him as he picked his clothes out (<i> coordinating</i> ) and preparing to go, and it seemed he actually was looking <i>forward</i> to going. He made light conversation and even cracked a few jokes on our ride there. I <b>love</b> this man. He has taken care of us his whole life. I know there were times when he held three jobs to make sure that we had the money for everything we needed. ( and many wants). When did he sleep? I don't recall him ever complaining, not to his children anyway. Just always doing what needed to be done. He is still in good health and has all his faculties in check. Wish I could say the same for <i>me</i>. <br />
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He loved the prayer I said before our meal, and the meal itself. Our gift really blew him away, (<i>Cash</i>) because there are no more <i>gadgets, clothes, cologne, tools, underwear, or anything else</i> we could ever buy that he doesn't already own. My siblings and I were happy to do it for him and now my only wish is that we do it more often.This is the man who has always set the finest example of what a father and husband to me should be. The reason why I can see through cat who doesn't quite come up to par and can walk away without looking back. I can't settle for the <i>okie doke</i>. I've had his example my whole life. And at <b>75</b> I am still in awe. To him, well I'm still his little girl. And although sometimes I don't want to hear the long talks or advice, I am so blessed to be able to <i><b>hear</b> </i>it. That's wonderful.<br />
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Be Blessed!!!<br />
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Obama 2012!!!Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-67793536221835657062012-09-10T19:07:00.002-04:002012-09-10T20:13:37.313-04:00So GoneOk I am still getting used to this new blogger set up.<b>AGAIN </b>anyway, I was watching Dr. Phil today, <i>don't know why</i> but I was. There was a black ( african american) couple that he was trying to assist with some marital issues. Both, were attractive people. Both seemed to be intelligent, and rational .<i> On Stage...</i>at home there were some serious abuse going on.<b> </b>The woman claimed her husband was cheating and that she had found different women's numbers in his phone listed under guy names. She had also caught him online with women and he even hid a picture under <b>their </b>mattress that she found and when asked about it. He said <i>" Oh, dear that is just a women I met online. She sent it too me. It means nothing to me" Shhhhhh... </i>The husband claimed that she had a wandering eye. He claimed that she always flirted with other men in front of him and she was the one not to be trusted. He claimed that she even forced him to have " inspections" when he came home ( <i><b>Really?</b></i>) So of course,they would get into major arguments, sometimes physical and as far as he could remember he had even spit into her face. TWICE<b>...</b> You didn't hear me. <b>TWICE. </b><br />
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<b>Lord I thank you because I swear I am not the jail type, but some things I am sure will have me <strike>real close to</strike> serving time.</b><br />
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This couple has 4 children and the wife stated she wanted to seek Dr. Phil's help because she wanted her family. She wanted her husband to trust her and wanted their marriage to work. All the while the husband appeared indifferent. I understand, anyone who had ever been in love wants this. No one enters into a relationship especially marriage thinking <b>OK,I'm going to give this six months</b>. Unless you happened to be named <b style="font-style: italic;">Kim or Evelyn. </b>But that is a blog for another day. No one wants their families broken up but when is enough, enough? When do you realize that this is not worth it. Children are smart. Especially these children growing up now.Do you really think they don't notice when mom and dad are at odds?. Do you really think you are hiding it from them.? As parents what examples are you setting for children ? Abuse is abuse whether its physical, mental, or verbal. Of course Phil was unable to resolve the issue in this one hour and offered further counsel. I'm just wondering why it takes people so long to realize some things don't need saving. Sometimes you just have to let go and be gone....<br />
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Be Blessed Peeps!!!<br />
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Obama 2012!! Vote!!!!<br />
<b><br /></b>Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-61388876353146909092012-08-28T18:04:00.000-04:002012-08-28T18:25:00.005-04:00Stormy WeatherI was working as a leasing agent after Hurricane Katrina. My complex along with so many others decided to open our community to some of the many families who had to relocate here after the tragic event. I will never forget the looks of hopelessness and lost that so many had. Nor will I forget those who were just thankful to be alive. They didn't care that they had lost their whole material lives or that they were thrust into an unknown new world. Just grateful that God spared them and their families and for the chance to begin again. As Issac looms in on the Gulf coast again, I pray for these families. I pray that the levees hold and we do not have a repeat of Katrina. I pray God covers them. I also pray that if disaster is to be that the gov't does what's its suppose to this time.<br />
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In other news... CYA is in full effect at work. It should have been all along but you know me always giving people the benefit of the doubt. I no longer want to fight,what's the point. I just know what I know and there is no coming back from that.<br />
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President Obama 2012!!!! Be blessed ya'll.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-83515674158592390812012-08-27T22:02:00.000-04:002012-08-27T22:31:16.570-04:00Before I let Go I hate liars and thieves, I really do. I know hate is a very strong word but it is really how I feel. If you want to be that type of person then I suggest you not be around me. <b>Anywhere</b>. I'm trying very, very hard to have my best <b>WWJD</b>, moment. But as you all know,God is not through with me yet.I am a work in progress and sometimes.... I <b>blank</b>. I'm not proud of it, but I haven't mastered turning the other cheek, yet. I have been taken advantage of here people. I have been lied on and it bothers me to the point where I just feel like... <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Pray for me, or them.
Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-31612236000916839672012-06-12T08:35:00.002-04:002012-08-28T18:21:19.463-04:00I'm WalkingI have been hurt by people. We all have. People that I thought were friends who proved to me time and time again that they were not and I accepted them back into my fold. I made excuses for their behavior, I gave them the benefit of the doubt. For most of my life I had a need to be accepted because I was always the friendly one. Always the one who would make the peace when others in my circle fell out. Always the one to crack a joke or two to make eveyone smile. So I just knew people would love me , why wouldn't they? As I grew older the need to be accepted by people started to wear thin. I called myself surrounding myself with people who loved me as much as I loved them. People I chose to call <b>FRIENDS</b>. Now, I don't use that word lightly. You have to earn that. So when people that I chose to call friend broke the code ( Friendship)I'm done. I wish you no harm, or ill -will . I am just done. I no longer call you ,text message, hang out with you, facebook or twitter you. Once I have expressed to you how hurt I am by your actions that's it, the end of our communication forever, as far as I am concerned. Some may call that harsh but, I have my own heart and feelings to protect. I no longer give people the opportunity to harm either again. So being that I have said all this , two, nearly three years ago I stopped talking to two of my so-called friends and since then they have been trying to get back in my life. I know why, not bragging but , I am a <b>EXCELLENT</b> friend and they realize the lost. That and I have always been so damn forgiving. But I am standing my ground this time because serious ( <i>I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS SHIT TO ME<b></b></i>) Lines were crossed. I have tried ignoring them, I don't return calls, text messages or anything else. I lie, one had a sister who passed and she shared and I offered my condolences to her and her family but nothing else since. So why do they press on? Guilt, I think because they had something good and they let it go. And I'm not going to lie. I do miss them and I cherish the good times we had and I wish things weren't they way they are. But they are and it is what it is...I'm walking...Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-82421770937094970942012-03-06T06:36:00.003-05:002012-03-06T07:00:46.693-05:00I'd Like To Teach The World To Sing<a href="http://www.nbc.com/the-voice/video/anthony-evans-vs.-jesse-campbell-if-i-aint-got-you/1389063#.T1X2uM89Fys.blogger">Anthony Evans vs. Jesse Campbell: "If I Ain't Got You"</a><br /><br /><br />Please do yourself a favor and click the link above if you did not witness these two brothers singing on The Voice last night. My friend Frank who some of you know as " Luke Cage" mentioned he never heard a Rhiana song. I countered until little Miss Sophia appeared on the Ellen Show I never heard a Nikki MInaj song. People like what they like. I can't knock these kids for saying what is playing on the radio now is the best thing since sliced bread, because they haven't been exposed to the music I appreciate( Or they have and think my Ol' school sucks). My parents didn't think there was much to the music I enjoyed as a child. But when true, raw talent is before you how can you<span style="font-weight:bold;"> not </span>enjoy it? I mean almost ever genre is represented on The Voice, and every judge was absolutely blown away. These two men have a true gift from God and it just makes me wonder. How is it that you can have absolutely no talent at all( Except that you have a beat and dance moves) and make a 1# hit but,have people who are extraordinarily talented and are still trying to make it? This is where the music industry is lost to me, and why I love this show because it's not about appearance, dance moves or beats. It's about pure talent,it's about the voice. If a<span style="font-weight:bold;">nyone</span> within the industry is out there listening. Give both of these gentlemen a chance.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-43528400347299771872012-02-21T03:08:00.004-05:002012-02-21T03:54:14.199-05:00Sometimes I Wonder WhyThis has been a week. I didn't watch Whitney's funeral. It was just too much for me. I know that they sent her home well though. I have been avoiding the media attention to the matter. I pray for her child, her family I pray for those that speak ill and unkindly. People are so quick to assume the worst. I have heard so many opinions and I just have to wonder. Do you really know? I've always said that I want to be comfortable, never wealthy. Never so famous that I can't walk down the street without a camera in my face. I can't imagine how hard life was for Whitney. I can't imagine having any issue with drugs. I'm thankful, but I'm also saddened because whatever her demons were, they were hers and she dealt with them the best way <span style="font-weight:bold;">SHE</span> knew how.I've had one friend say when you take on a celebrity status you give up part of your life. This may be true, but to what extent? I don't think paparazzi, should be allowed anywhere near their homes or private affairs without serious repercussions. I think people are so much in awe of celebrities they develop a need to know every detail and go too far. They forget, that they are human beings; and they have to go through ups and downs with the world watching.Just think of that for a minute. Think of your most embarrassing moment that only you and ( a few others) know about. Can you imagine the world knowing?Aren't we all guilty of making poor choices? Some I know are worst than others, yet we all have. I cannot judge Whitney as so many have. I have my own salvation to worry about and my judge is the only one I will have to answer to. I never knew death, until my mom died. There, I've finally said it. I always say <span style="font-weight:bold;">passed<span style="font-style:italic;"></span></span> because I can accept that more. I'm working through it,( Another blog, another time). I said that to say, let this woman rest. I think the thing that keeps my sanity is knowing that my mother is resting well.Although she meant the world to me. My family and I did not have to deal with the crap the Houston family has an will have to. . We have lost another extraordinary talent, yet they lost so much more. The most beautiful thing we can do to celebrate, cherish and honor her is to let her family grieve and let them be. Rest well Whitney.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-21860021444417044522012-02-14T06:03:00.004-05:002012-02-14T07:34:12.125-05:00Loving You<span style="font-weight:bold;">Happy Valentines Day!!!</span> <br />Silly me, I asked a few gentlemen if they are ready for Valentines day. I got an ear <span style="font-weight:bold;">full</span>. Of how "the man" has made this holiday up. ( Aren't they <span style="font-style:italic;">all</span> man made?) and how this is a day for women and men are made to feel badly if they don't get their wives or girlfriends <span style="font-weight:bold;">SOMETHING</span>. They went on and on about how they are doing it everyday for their wives and girlfriends and how this day shouldn't be any different from any other. How this day is for the suckers, who made mistakes and this is a day to make up for those mistakes. <span style="font-weight:bold;">BULLSHIT!!!</span>, I say. My parents were married for over 50 years and my father NEVER missed this holiday. My mom has been deceased nearly two years and my father still bought a card and placed it next to her Urn. What is wrong with a day all about <span style="font-weight:bold;">LOVE<span style="font-style:italic;"></span></span>? What is so wrong with acknowledging it even more so today? They argued they paid the mortgage, they paid the light bill. WTH??? Don't you live there too?I'm not taking anything away from the men/women holding it down and doing their things. I'm just saying there is nothing wrong with celebrating that love you have for one another today. Whether it be with gifts or not.Spending quality time together I'm sure would be appreciated by many more than flowers or candy. Watching the kids while you go out. Or even washing the dishes after our meal . It doesn't have to be monetary. That is where I think the confusion comes in with men.If you are really doing all the right things, then even to women this is just another day. But we are sentimental creatures and a card( bought or made. a poem or even an " I love you" written on the steamed up mirror will pull at our heartstrings. With all that is going on in the world, we need to grab every chance we can get to say I love you and you mean something to me.It's not just for women, we are just more appreciative of it, I think. I just don't know how this day became so negative to so many.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-63440990491017542422012-01-24T02:02:00.006-05:002012-01-25T12:41:41.171-05:00Collards and CornbreadI want something good to eat. I would like to sit down at a dinner table with family and friends and just have a decent meal. The only problem with that is I can't because I have been working everyday. Don't get me wrong. I am happy to have a job. Thankful to God and more than gratefu<br />l to not have to file unemployment.( Lord knows who came up with those figures). Anyway, I am getting very tired. Just exhausted and I am more than willing to help out but, damn. I have no time for anything. And everyone says " Well the money is great. " I retort " <span style="font-style:italic;">I can't spend it if I'm dead</span>." Money isn't everything. Quality of life is so much more important to me. Since losing my mom, even more so. I want to be able to live each day, happily like it's my last. I'm not asking for wine and song and parties. Just a chance to relax and do what I want to do. Time to see my dad. Chat with my family and friends. Spend quality time with them. I joined the Eastern Star organization so I could really do some work in the community. How can I if I can't attend half of the functions? <span style="font-weight:bold;">GOD GRANT ME SERENTIY... PATIENCE...</span> I know and this too shall pass. Right now I am willing to settle for a good meal. Collards and Cornbread...yeah!!!!Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-69734607258992795052012-01-23T04:12:00.006-05:002012-01-23T04:41:35.429-05:00Give It To Me BabyIt's the men against the women again. Sort of...while having a discussion about Kobe and his wife the men began shouting. " She's a trifling bitch!!" " Another.."Why does she deserve half his money and a three estates?". Another shouted " He got robbed". But the discussion took a different turn when the women began to chime in. " Yes, getit girl", "That's right she deserved it, she put up with his ass for 10yrs." "She has his babies". Now keep in mind that there are only black women and men having this discussion and it came to an immediate shouting match when one of the men said. " <span style="font-weight:bold;">That's why black men want white women, ya'll always trying to take money from us that you don't deserve</span>?" <span style="font-weight:bold;">WTF</span>... Are white women immune to divorce, alimony and child support? What kind of statement is that. Ignorant that's what it was. White women have been getting half for years. And just a side note...Kobe's wife isn't a black woman. Do I agree with half, well as a matter of fact I <span style="font-style:italic;">don't</span>. But, I do think that his wife and children should remain accoustomed to the lifestyle that he gave them. In certain cases where the man, is the cause ( because he cheats or just ups and decides that he needs a newer model) Hell yeah, she gets to get half , for putting up with his scandalous ass for years!!! He broke the contract, the only one that really counts the <span style="font-weight:bold;">MARRIAGE</span> contract, so in that case it should cause him half. Now back to this idiot. If you want to be with a white woman that is your choice. There is nothing wrong with it. No one can help who they love. However, do not blame black women for your choice. I'm tired of this cop out that black women are hard to get along with, angry, stubborn or whatever else you dig out. Women are women all over the world. We all have a good and bad side. We all go through bullshit with our men. We all get tired. Black women are not the only ones. Perhaps, we are quicker to come to the light and not take your bullshit. But,that's only logical.<br /><br />Damn, the struggle continues...Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-80959922648141065632012-01-14T07:50:00.003-05:002012-01-17T02:56:19.261-05:00Leave Me AloneI was watching 20/20 last night and there was a story about women who wanted to have children with sperm donors. I thought well if you do not have a significant other or if you are unmarried and want a child, that is an option. The 'problem' was that these women were on internet getting sperm from men for "FREE". That was not the only problem ( So they reported) there was also a chance that these men could have very psychological problems and they aren't being tested. My issue is if these women we're to meet these men and casually have sex with them there would be no 'problem'. So why give them so much grief? They are obviously at the end of their ropes and have tried ever other means available. Why tell them how they can get pregnant? Leave people alone to make decisions about their bodies. The government is getting a little too involved in our lives. They want a hand in every decision you make, they want their cut. Hell, they already jacking us daily and it still isn't enough. I say allow these women to pursue whatever venue they deem necessary to bring a child into this world!!!Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-77282228903934698452012-01-10T06:54:00.004-05:002012-01-10T07:16:33.709-05:00Just Running Across My MindI had a conversation with a friend a few days ago about the love of a mother and child and a sibling. I could not fathom a comparison. But, their arguement was because I was raised to put no one above my mother I wouldn't be able to. I understood that you have love for a sibling completely. I love both my brother and sister. I WILL do anything I can for them and only want the best for them. I pray for good and hapiness for them. However, if there was ever a choice I would have to unfortunately make to choose between them and my mother. <span style="font-weight:bold;">MOM</span> would win, hands down,<span style="font-weight:bold;">EVERY TIME</span>.No thought process needed. I said "You only have <span style="font-style:italic;">one </span>mother." Their argument was they only had one sibling. I guess this is not for me to understand, because no matter what my sIbling does for me it could never replace what my <span style="font-weight:bold;">MOTHER</span> had done for me. This is the woman who gave me life. The woman who fed, clothed and raised me. This is the woman who sacrificed for me, who loved me <span style="font-style:italic;">unconditionally</span>. To tell the truth the statement kind of bothered me and not just because I lost my mom.I understand that everyone isn't as close to ther parents as I am to mine. I understand that. But just the thought of putting anyone on the level of my mother( HELL NAW). So I stated that you are not the norm , because most people say I love my mom/child more than anything on this earth. Most people... I guess I just have to accept that everyone doesn't feel that way and I thank God for the relationship and love that I had/have for mine.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-50370754764266551872011-12-29T13:00:00.003-05:002011-12-29T13:12:58.406-05:00So This Is ChristmasWe made it through another year. There was a time when I thought we would never make it. The first year I didn't feel like celebrating anything, but we did because that's the way my mother raised us.We honor her, everyday by continuing to live our lives. By pushing ourselves to go on even when we think we can't. The pain of losing her still and probably always will hurt, but we are few but resilient people. We are from very strong stock. Even my father was able to smile this year, be genuinely happy, and he needs that more than any of us. So we made it, we laughed, we cooked, we danced, joked, remembered, we celebrated. The blessing of knowing we had a great lady in our lives but also that she left a great group of us behind. I may be a little biased, but I am so happy that I belong to this family. I hope each of you have the chance to feel the joy I feel with your families. Not only at Christmas...everyday. Be Blessed!Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-22222764456287316282011-07-04T20:36:00.007-04:002011-07-04T20:51:06.113-04:00Gotta Git UpVacation is coming and I can't wait. I like my job, I do. But, if I don't get away soon there is going to be some furniture <span style="font-style:italic;">movin'!!!</span> I need this much deserved break. I'm going with braids again because I hear FL is hell hot and I do not want to be dealing with hair and heat, I <span style="font-weight:bold;">know</span> that would not be cute. My dad needs this most of all. He needs to get out of the house and enjoy himself. He needs to try to live again, without mom. The other day he hinted to me moving back home. That's not going to happen, I will make more time to spend with him, because I know he gets lonely. But, I need my space, my sanity depends on it. Hopefully he will understand that. I love him to pieces, but no can do.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-2175178270954026712011-06-18T01:51:00.004-04:002011-06-18T02:16:29.154-04:00Love Is YouYesterday was my 45th birthday. I started it off with good friends toasting me and having a blast. I am blessed. Last year at this time I really was not in the mood to celebrate, anything... they say time heals all wounds. Although, I can't think of any amount of time that would heal this wound I am getting better. <strong>Stronger</strong>. I have so much love in my life. The love of family has sustained me physically and mentally. The love of friends both near and far has strengthened me. So I picked this song because I feel that I am love, so filled with love for others and so filled with love <em>from </em>others. Today, I feel so thankful to God for all that he has given me. For the things I overlook and forget to say "Thank you" for out loud. So Blessed!!!Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-34569862257515280302011-06-02T13:59:00.004-04:002011-06-02T14:08:18.611-04:00SmileIt has been quite a year for me. I am coming to terms with the lost of my mom and realizing that she wouldn't want me to stay sad for so long. ( Easier said than done mommy) but day by day it's getting...bearable. I will always miss her but I carry her with me everyday. <br /><br />My life has been filled with work. I guess I dove into it to take my mind away for a minute. But being work has really been getting on my nerves, I will have to find another outlet. So here I am with my old standby. Writing. Most of the blogs I used to follow have gone away. But,one thing about blogger...you can find new people with new thoughts. So I'm back ready to begin anew. I'm looking foward to it and I hope the things I have to say matter to some of you. If not, it matters to me. And its my blog!<br /><br />So today, I smile...Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-30425650044047075272010-11-25T12:09:00.003-05:002010-11-25T12:18:42.911-05:00NeverI miss my mom. Today more than ever. It'a strange if that is the correct word knowing she isn't here to share her delicious dishes, humor and love. I wish I could see her once more and tell her again how much I love her. I am thankful today because she did know how much I did, I'm thankful that she isn't suffering and she is somewhere smiling and saying "You made me happy Wendy" I know the type person she was she wouldn't want us to be sad. So today Mom, I will smile, celebrate and honor your memory. I love you. I always will. Happy Turkey day everyone, cherish this time with your family.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-70629155575330511142010-09-24T06:56:00.003-04:002010-09-24T07:09:01.677-04:00Time Will RevealSometimes when I am alone I wait for her. My mother. Hoping like some movie she will magically appear like an angel. I can talk to her, maybe touch her again. She will follow me around and pop in and out of my car. Offer her advice and wisdom. I could make her laugh again until her hernia blows up and she would tell me to knock it off. God, I miss her. So many days I want to pick up the phone and call her to tell her about my crazy days, craZy friends. Her birthday is coming. I hear her saying celebrate her life." Don't be sad when I'm gone because I enjoyed my life and I would do it all over again" I hear it. And I know eventually I will get to that place, just not yet.Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3274452.post-37124748831689628392010-07-08T05:58:00.004-04:002010-07-08T07:01:06.899-04:00Everywhere<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_bcZ-2CDP2I0/TDWvtDjKICI/AAAAAAAAAPk/pfQ3Ff8ECnc/s1600/roses.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 155px; height: 116px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_bcZ-2CDP2I0/TDWvtDjKICI/AAAAAAAAAPk/pfQ3Ff8ECnc/s400/roses.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5491488509229932578" /></a><br /><br /><br />My mother passed away on a Friday. April 30th, 2010.From brain cancer. It has taken me some time to be able to come here and type that. I think I am perhaps still in shock, maybe denial. I know I am self diagnosing.Good days and bad so I may also rant here. But follow me if you can. This has always been my answer. I write it all down, it's soothing to me. I had the most wonderful mother on earth, not only the most selfless person you would ever encounter,but just a beautiful human being. I am so thankful to God for her life. For being her child. For giving me 43 years with this amazing woman. Everything that I am and will ever be is because of her. I see her more in my face now, I hear her voice saying you will be okay baby, trust God.Pray.But,this is so hard.For all of us.I'm watching my father and praying for strength for him,because she was his childhood sweetheart and he is broken. I see her everywhere. In everything I do, my mannerisms. My feet, my hands, my face. I have so many good memories, and that is some comfort.I know it's my own selfishness that wants her back, because she was suffering.And I know she is in a better place. She was my friend, my cheerleader, my confidant, my hero and she loved me without condition. I never doubted that and it gives me so much joy to know she knew how much we loved her. She had a husband and three children who worshiped her. She was a strong woman, much stronger than me. She endured so much physical pain and even to her last breath still concerned for us. Always truthful with us, she didn't pull any punches but her advice came from love. And her upbringing molded us, she was proud of us. She was proud of her 53 year marriage and I miss her so much it hurts. My sister wrote this poem which we printed on her obituary. It sums everything I feel, we feel, up. I love you Mrs. Patricia Skinner forever and ever. You're everywhere I am.<br /><br /><br /><br /><em>I can't even recoginize what gone from me means or what's in between the seen and unseen.<br /><br />Much like, but not just like God I know you will never leave me, but the aching is insanity.<br /><br />I've never felt broken into so many pieces, all I am is pieces. Pieces that can't be identified of justified. Pieces soaked in sadness, sprinkled with madness and wrought with love from earth and above.<br /><br />I know you're busy transitioning and haven't yet begun to practice listening, protecting or visting because it's still such a new thing.<br /><br />I look forward to your spirit life, and I can't wait to see how your new wings look in my dreams or however you choose to show them to me,I know you'll fit them perfectly, as I reflect this thought with certainty. An angel certainly.</em>Wendyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11407765712632358176noreply@blogger.com1