Free

I cut my hair off 9 months ago. I have to say it is one of the best things I've ever done for myself. I can't explain to you how I feel except by saying free. No one held a gun to me and forced me to get the creamy crack and if that is your voice ,I understand.

I'm just saying my experience has been on of complete joy.My journey in the beginning was frustrating because I  ihad no idea what I was doing. I thiought I'd do my big chop and curls would magically appear. I thought soon after I'd have long flowing locs cascading from my head. I knew nothing of curl patterns or hair types. All I knew was that I was done with relaxers. There have been trials and missteps and what the hells? But I've come pretty far. The renewed confidence I feel in knowing no matter what I rock it's fierce,even my missteps. That just gives me freedom,freedom to rock my God given locs and not be ashamed embarrassed or anything else but me. I'm finally free. Thank God...I'm free

Scream

Ok I have lost some weight. Cool right. Now I am dealing with sagging skin. I feel like a marshmallow. A brown, squishy, marshmallow.Now I have to  do exercises to tighten but,  not get too bulky. So I won't look like a large Michelon tire baby.  At least when I was bigger I was firm. I didn't have all this jingling baby going on. I'M DOING THE WORK MAN!!!, but it is so hard. I knew going in that the process would be long and tough and some days I feel like. ...Forget it. I have to be honest. I feel like running out and buying a carton of butter pecan and eating the whole thing. Dairy Queen has been blowing my tv screen up! Them and every restaurant has a meal special with some delicious looking entree dancing across my screen.I rationalize it in my mind at the time that everyone is not supposed to be thin. Then I come back to myself , because I am not trying to be thin. I am trying to be healthy. I am trying dance,  and walk a flight of stairs without feeling winded. I want to be comfortable in my clothes, not pulling and snatching. Whatever size that is.

With weight loss the fat that was on your body also begins to shift. So when I put my clothes on, I'm like what the hell? I'm not hating on anyone, you should feel comfortable in the skin you are in. No matter the size, but right  is right and wrong is just... wrong.  I am also losing the weight unevenly and one of these things is not like the other!!! Who the hell does this!!! My mother used to tell me .." Only you Wendy" How true these words seem. I talk to others who are on a weight lost journey and I have yet to hear anyone else complain of this. My feet lost weight!!! Yeah, that is EXACTLY where I needed to lose.Maybe I will resort to wearing coverups. Until this body decides to compromise with me.

I also have had  the most tiring week, trying to explain my position on the Trayvon Martin case and verdict to those who are unwilling or unable to understand my frustration. I'm at the point now where I realize that I am beating a dead horse and I am no longer trying to have a logical conversation with these people. It's hard to believe that some people that I have known  for most of my life are so bigoted and narrow-minded. I had some inkling that they were during the Obama campaign. This case has definitely drawn the line on their position and sadly, I understand even more just how divided this country is.

I've ranted enough...Be blessed peeps!!!

I'm Walking

I have been hurt by people. We all have. People that I thought were friends who proved to me time and time again that they were not and I accepted them back into my fold. I made excuses for their behavior, I gave them the benefit of the doubt. For most of my life I had a need to be accepted because I was always the friendly one. Always the one who would make the peace when others in my circle fell out. Always the one to crack a joke or two to make eveyone smile. So I just knew people would love me , why wouldn't they? As I grew older the need to be accepted by people started to wear thin. I called myself surrounding myself with people who loved me as much as I loved them. People I chose to call FRIENDS. Now, I don't use that word lightly. You have to earn that. So when people that I chose to call friend broke the code ( Friendship)I'm done. I wish you no harm, or ill -will . I am just done. I no longer call you ,text message, hang out with you, facebook or twitter you. Once I have expressed to you how hurt I am by your actions that's it, the end of our communication forever, as far as I am concerned. Some may call that harsh but, I have my own heart and feelings to protect. I no longer give people the opportunity to harm either again. So being that I have said all this , two, nearly three years ago I stopped talking to two of my so-called friends and since then they have been trying to get back in my life. I know why, not bragging but , I am a EXCELLENT friend and they realize the lost. That and I have always been so damn forgiving. But I am standing my ground this time because serious ( I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS SHIT TO ME) Lines were crossed. I have tried ignoring them, I don't return calls, text messages or anything else. I lie, one had a sister who passed and she shared and I offered my condolences to her and her family but nothing else since. So why do they press on? Guilt, I think because they had something good and they let it go. And I'm not going to lie. I do miss them and I cherish the good times we had and I wish things weren't they way they are. But they are and it is what it is...I'm walking...

Sometimes I Wonder Why

This has been a week. I didn't watch Whitney's funeral. It was just too much for me. I know that they sent her home well though. I have been avoiding the media attention to the matter. I pray for her child, her family I pray for those that speak ill and unkindly. People are so quick to assume the worst. I have heard so many opinions and I just have to wonder. Do you really know? I've always said that I want to be comfortable, never wealthy. Never so famous that I can't walk down the street without a camera in my face. I can't imagine how hard life was for Whitney. I can't imagine having any issue with drugs. I'm thankful, but I'm also saddened because whatever her demons were, they were hers and she dealt with them the best way SHE knew how.I've had one friend say when you take on a celebrity status you give up part of your life. This may be true, but to what extent? I don't think paparazzi, should be allowed anywhere near their homes or private affairs without serious repercussions. I think people are so much in awe of celebrities they develop a need to know every detail and go too far. They forget, that they are human beings; and they have to go through ups and downs with the world watching.Just think of that for a minute. Think of your most embarrassing moment that only you and ( a few others) know about. Can you imagine the world knowing?Aren't we all guilty of making poor choices? Some I know are worst than others, yet we all have. I cannot judge Whitney as so many have. I have my own salvation to worry about and my judge is the only one I will have to answer to. I never knew death, until my mom died. There, I've finally said it. I always say passed because I can accept that more. I'm working through it,( Another blog, another time). I said that to say, let this woman rest. I think the thing that keeps my sanity is knowing that my mother is resting well.Although she meant the world to me. My family and I did not have to deal with the crap the Houston family has an will have to. . We have lost another extraordinary talent, yet they lost so much more. The most beautiful thing we can do to celebrate, cherish and honor her is to let her family grieve and let them be. Rest well Whitney.

Give It To Me Baby

It's the men against the women again. Sort of...while having a discussion about Kobe and his wife the men began shouting. " She's a trifling bitch!!" " Another.."Why does she deserve half his money and a three estates?". Another shouted " He got robbed". But the discussion took a different turn when the women began to chime in. " Yes, getit girl", "That's right she deserved it, she put up with his ass for 10yrs." "She has his babies". Now keep in mind that there are only black women and men having this discussion and it came to an immediate shouting match when one of the men said. " That's why black men want white women, ya'll always trying to take money from us that you don't deserve?" WTF... Are white women immune to divorce, alimony and child support? What kind of statement is that. Ignorant that's what it was. White women have been getting half for years. And just a side note...Kobe's wife isn't a black woman. Do I agree with half, well as a matter of fact I don't. But, I do think that his wife and children should remain accoustomed to the lifestyle that he gave them. In certain cases where the man, is the cause ( because he cheats or just ups and decides that he needs a newer model) Hell yeah, she gets to get half , for putting up with his scandalous ass for years!!! He broke the contract, the only one that really counts the MARRIAGE contract, so in that case it should cause him half. Now back to this idiot. If you want to be with a white woman that is your choice. There is nothing wrong with it. No one can help who they love. However, do not blame black women for your choice. I'm tired of this cop out that black women are hard to get along with, angry, stubborn or whatever else you dig out. Women are women all over the world. We all have a good and bad side. We all go through bullshit with our men. We all get tired. Black women are not the only ones. Perhaps, we are quicker to come to the light and not take your bullshit. But,that's only logical.

Damn, the struggle continues...

Gotta Git Up

Vacation is coming and I can't wait. I like my job, I do. But, if I don't get away soon there is going to be some furniture movin'!!! I need this much deserved break. I'm going with braids again because I hear FL is hell hot and I do not want to be dealing with hair and heat, I know that would not be cute. My dad needs this most of all. He needs to get out of the house and enjoy himself. He needs to try to live again, without mom. The other day he hinted to me moving back home. That's not going to happen, I will make more time to spend with him, because I know he gets lonely. But, I need my space, my sanity depends on it. Hopefully he will understand that. I love him to pieces, but no can do.

Love Is You

Yesterday was my 45th birthday. I started it off with good friends toasting me and having a blast. I am blessed. Last year at this time I really was not in the mood to celebrate, anything... they say time heals all wounds. Although, I can't think of any amount of time that would heal this wound I am getting better. Stronger. I have so much love in my life. The love of family has sustained me physically and mentally. The love of friends both near and far has strengthened me. So I picked this song because I feel that I am love, so filled with love for others and so filled with love from others. Today, I feel so thankful to God for all that he has given me. For the things I overlook and forget to say "Thank you" for out loud. So Blessed!!!

Smile

It has been quite a year for me. I am coming to terms with the lost of my mom and realizing that she wouldn't want me to stay sad for so long. ( Easier said than done mommy) but day by day it's getting...bearable. I will always miss her but I carry her with me everyday.

My life has been filled with work. I guess I dove into it to take my mind away for a minute. But being work has really been getting on my nerves, I will have to find another outlet. So here I am with my old standby. Writing. Most of the blogs I used to follow have gone away. But,one thing about blogger...you can find new people with new thoughts. So I'm back ready to begin anew. I'm looking foward to it and I hope the things I have to say matter to some of you. If not, it matters to me. And its my blog!

So today, I smile...

Father Can You Hear Me

Today my mother will get the results of her latest radiation treatment. She was diagnosed with brain cancer Christmas eve. I can see the fight still in her. I can see her trying to come back. But she isn't there yet, and she probably won't ever be. The seizure she suffered did some damage to her motor skills, her memory. I pray for strength , that I know my family will need at this time in our lives. I pray for courage, not only to carry her through but for my father as well who is taking this hardest. I know everything happens for a reason and I am still trying to undetrstand why it has to be my mother. I know people say this all the time but she is incredible. So, however I have to have her here I will. I just need a little more time dear God, just a little more time.

My Man

Today I fell out with one of my closes friends. Why? Her man, not mine hers. I hate to fall out with anyone but especially when it's foolishness. By the way, I have kicked my man to the curb. It just wasn't working out and NO it wasn't me. Back to me and my friend.

I spoke to someone and told them the whole scenario and they feel that I am correct. I feel that i am correct. I just have to get my friend to see that I am correct. She is a bit stubborn and I am too and I love her , but shit. Right is right and wrong is wrong. Her man was dead wrong. ( Nothing like trying to approach me or anything like that) but the situation was wrong. So in an effort to get him to think about the situation I spoke with her. It's amazing how friends can flip. I understand that it is her man and she has to keep her home happy, but damn don't flip on me. That is all that I am saying.

I am saying if you see he is wrong don't try to rationalize no crazy shit. PERIOD!!!

Praise Up

It's that time again. Thanksgiving, those of you that read this blog often know that this is my favorite holiday.I am in the kitchen now still cooking. I don't even mind. Two days ago I was at the hospital because my mother had a scare. Today I am in her kitchen and she is watching me cook. ( Standing guard). I am blessed. She is fine and I couldn't be happier . God has blessed this family with another holiday together I .
pray that each of you have a safe and enjoyable holiday. Eat , drink and be thankful for all you have. Love one another.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Stay Blessed!

You Are My Friend

I am a people person. I love interaction with different types of people and feel that I can get along with anyone if given the chance. I was having a discussion with a person who informed me that he didn't have any friends. He said he only had acquaintances and he thought when people called themselves friends, they basically expected things from you.

I thought how sad. I have friends, true blue, do or die, ride or die, down for me friends. People that I can lean on tell my business, fall out with, party with, cry with and know they will always be there. I guess I am blessed.
My whole point to him was, what kind of friend are you? I have aligned myself with people who treat me the way I treat them. I feel if you act like a friend then I will treat you like one. I have had to let people that were my so-called friends go.
They did not treat me with the same level of respect that I gave them. They did not respect the relationship and therefore lost the title of "friend". They could no longer be anything to me, because once I extend my hand in friendship and you do something to soil that relationship in any way I have lost the trust that is needed to have a true friendship. Some people feel that is harsh. That forgiveness is needed. I do forgive. Don't get me wrong. Before I decide to end a friendship I look at the circumstances which led me to consider ending it. If I deem them harsh enough then it's over. I wish you well.

As I tried to explain this to him, it felt like he understood. But never having a friend in his life was a lot for me to take in. I asked him again, What kind of friend are you? He basically said he considered himself a good friend having gone out of his way many, many times only to be used. I told him he had to decide what types he choose to call his friends as well. Because friends don't use you. They don't call only when they need things and they don't abuse you in any way. A friend uplifts you when your down. Raising you even higher when your up. They are proud of you and feel nothing but love for you and truly want the best for you.

It was a bit much for him. People like this truly do exist. I know because I am blessed to have them in my life. My prayers that this young man will experience this in his lifetime..

Stay Blessed!

Thank God It's Friday

- Hey, put a smile on your face
things are coming your way
Out there somewhere tonight-


Here are some of my old school fav's, If we have to pick a "crooner" this week. You know Luther has to be the man. I saw this concert and I couldn't get enough of Luther (still can't)...



Here are some more of my favs you're going to have to get on your feet for some of these, so press pause on my usual jams and... Work it JT, Work IT!!!...












Have a great weekend, Stay Blessed!

Call Me

I have never been a person who will repeatedly call someone. I will call leave a message and hopefully you will return my call. If not, I'll talk to you when you are able. See ya, when I see ya!

I have an acquaintance, that is blowing my phone up. So much so that I find myself wondering why I gave her my number. When I do answer she wants to talk about others. I'm not the type woman who talks about people, I don't sit around gossiping and causing drama, I have told her that's not me. Anything I have to say, believe me it will be said to you.

The other thing is she speaks really, re al ly, sl ow ly . So I am in a 5 minute conversation for 30.I think someone who stutters would get the point across sooner.

I pride myself in being able to get along with anyone. If you allow me too. But this tracking me down for bullshit is killing me. She will call and call and call until I answer. The first time she did it, I really thought something was wrong.If I am unreachable at home she will repeatedly call my cell. Now this would not be an issue if I haven't already explained this to her. Her constant calling pushes my other numbers out of my phone. She said she was sorry and just trying to catch up. Understandable, but chill. If it isn't an emergency, don't call me like it is. I am getting images of Glen Close calling repeatedly and turning that lamp off/on.

Seriously, Its getting so bad... I mean damn I am blogging about it dammit!. I don't mind you calling me. Lord knows I can talk on the phone... But I have got to put the breaks on this.

It's not normal to let a phone ring repeatedly. What did Eddie Murphy say? "That's a lonely B@7%H! on the end of that line."

Nothing From Nothing

I don't have children, so I am reaching as far as what "I" would do. I know how I think I would raise my child. I know how I was raised. I know my tolerance level. I have friends with step children that are wrecking their lives and marriages. I know from listening to them, I no longer wish to be in a relationship with a man who has under aged children anymore. At my age that is really, really pushing it.This is a strong statement considering who much I love children. But I am watching my friends lives crumble before my eyes. Not because of money, miscommunication or infidelity, but because of the step children.

It's sad to watch because other than the children, these people have wonderful relationships. I understand my friends frustration and yet I understand their partner. No one wants to be put in a situation to choose between their spouse or their children. I understand when they are just wanting "peace" and not to make any waves and keep everyone happy. But you can't keep everyone happy. Someone is going to have a problem.


My friends feel unappreciated, one has been physically abused by a child. The other mentally abused not only by the child but their mother as well. I am at a lost as to what to say to them anymore. I listen. I ask them to talk with their spouses about how they feel. I know in my heart that both of these women love the step children. We don't have any Cinderella stories here. But the children, for some reason do not like them, nor do they respect the fact that their fathers love these women. I know that the mother's of these children are fueling the fires.

So how do you work this out? How do you keep your home life happy and as well adjusted and functional as you can when you have step children who act like they have 3 sixes on their skull?

I pray their relationships endure these troubled times. I pray these children realize that they are in the best possible place they could be. I pray that God give these families strength and wisdom.

Because....



I don't have children, but I know my tolerance level

In the Morning

It's been quite some time since I've gotten up early on a Saturday morning. I'd like to say that I did. But you guys know the deal. No mornings for me mon. I scanned the television for shows that I could recognize and there weren't any. Back in the day, the above were the ones to watch. Then around 1pm I could look forward to Kung Fu theater. Those were the baddest cats in the game. They could fight a whole nation for 15 hours straight, get stabbed and walk all the way back to their country and deliver their news before they died....Kids don't know what they are missing.



His last name is Edwards, I assure you Obama had nothing to do with this.Of course the " Breaking News" every fifteen minutes about the problems this man is having, must be followed by a story involving Obama. Please vote! Take someone to vote!



I have to say I was I was shocked and saddened by the death of this man.Another comedian that I liked. Bernie Mac's style of humor was raw, he was not for the faint of heart but, he was the truth and he will definitely be missed. My prayers for his family and friends. May he rest in peace.

Waiting

My promise, my pledge....To take better care of my baby when she comes home. To listen to her more and to believe her when she tells me she isn't feeling well, I promise to go back to getting regular check-ups and stop taking for granted that she will continue to be there( even if I don't treat her as well as I should)I will appreciate her more.

The thing about having repairs on the car that burns me up is the waiting. Waiting for calls, waiting for parts,waiting for rides, I'm so sick of it. I NEED my vehicle. Yes I want it too, but I really need it and I know, I'm the reason the car is in the shop in the first place but, I still want it like yesterday! I really, really dislike depending on others to get me from point A to B. Whether, it be private or a commercial vehicle I CANT STAND waiting!(You all know public transportation is out!)

In other news my sister in all her wonderfulness will be 31 tomorrow. Am I going to rag her...of course ! 11 years ago you would have thought I was turning 108. She told me constantly how OLD I was, so now it's my turn. I know she will counter with, " You will always be older than me", but right now that's not my point.

I have decided to stop watching Supernanny. It raises my blood pressure too high. It's just ridiculous to me how far these parents let their children get out of hand.


Coolness... I took this quiz: What Is The Soundtrack Of Your life?
And it came back as...

Louis Armstrong - What a Wonderful World



Stay Blessed people!

Our Love is Here to Stay

I won't brag. I will just say that I was watching an episode of Deion and Pilar( Yes, Another reality show) and Pilar wanted Deion to speak with the children about sex. He didn't say much to them but told the children to say " Daddy put it down" when asked about their conversation. So as far as my parents anniversary celebration goes. " We put it down"

My parents were so happy, and I have never been filled with more pride for them. They have touched so many lives in their 50 years together and it was really nice to see that love returned.- Enuf said

One of my favorite comedians George Carlin died Sunday...so here is a quote of his I find somehow ties in with this post.

"Men are from Earth, Women are from Earth. Deal with it."



Stay Blessed people!!

Rocking Chair

Come on,sexy Baby woo, let me be your rocking chair
We'll rock away from here

A friend suggested that I am ready for a rocking chair. She is 7 yrs younger and I cannot wait until she is my age. But when she suggested it I was reminded of this song so that's the reason for this title.

Anywho, your girl is 42 today! Thank you Jesus!
The Sharing The Love Award was created by Crystal Memoirs of a Mommy Blog I was awarded by Believer and I am truly honored that she even thought of me. This award goes to the people whose blogs make your day. Those must reads. So I am sharing this love today with the following people....

Tiki
Frank
Lyre
Buck

Honorable Mention to:
BluJewel who was already sent some love but I am sending more.

I think a really wonderful birthday gift would be for the Celtics to finally wrap this up. That would really make my day. We'll see. Stay Blessed people!

The Humpty Dance

Happy Hump Day people! I think from now on I will include a few verses from the song.

Alright stop what your doing, cause i'm about to ruin
The image and the style that your used to...

Do the Humpty Hump, what do the Humpty Hump!

Ok, we let Birdman here win one. It was bound to happen. But a sweep would have really done it for me. Anyway doesn't he look like a bird? He already has on yellow just add some feathers around his face in your mind for a minute. I'll wait...


He does, doesn't he? Anyway this man almost had to play by himself didn't he? I guess he said man if we don't win tonight Magic is going to have a hit put on the team. LMAO. Magic was hot!!!Talking pure trash about his beloved Lakers.

Preparations for my parents 50th anniversary are coming along. My sister will be here next week. I miss her so much! The three of us are supposed to be giving it, but my sister and I do all the work and my brother just shows up. Typical. If it wasn't so hot I would give him a karate chop to the throat.

>I will be 42 in six days, that's why I'm so bubbly ( no I haven't been drinking), YET... I'm going to need to get glasses. I can't read the small print anymore. ( And you know all the important stuff is in small print).They have really cute glasses now though. It's not like I will have to look like Redd Foxx in Harlem Nights.


Stay Blessed People!