Scream

Ok I have lost some weight. Cool right. Now I am dealing with sagging skin. I feel like a marshmallow. A brown, squishy, marshmallow.Now I have to  do exercises to tighten but,  not get too bulky. So I won't look like a large Michelon tire baby.  At least when I was bigger I was firm. I didn't have all this jingling baby going on. I'M DOING THE WORK MAN!!!, but it is so hard. I knew going in that the process would be long and tough and some days I feel like. ...Forget it. I have to be honest. I feel like running out and buying a carton of butter pecan and eating the whole thing. Dairy Queen has been blowing my tv screen up! Them and every restaurant has a meal special with some delicious looking entree dancing across my screen.I rationalize it in my mind at the time that everyone is not supposed to be thin. Then I come back to myself , because I am not trying to be thin. I am trying to be healthy. I am trying dance,  and walk a flight of stairs without feeling winded. I want to be comfortable in my clothes, not pulling and snatching. Whatever size that is.

With weight loss the fat that was on your body also begins to shift. So when I put my clothes on, I'm like what the hell? I'm not hating on anyone, you should feel comfortable in the skin you are in. No matter the size, but right  is right and wrong is just... wrong.  I am also losing the weight unevenly and one of these things is not like the other!!! Who the hell does this!!! My mother used to tell me .." Only you Wendy" How true these words seem. I talk to others who are on a weight lost journey and I have yet to hear anyone else complain of this. My feet lost weight!!! Yeah, that is EXACTLY where I needed to lose.Maybe I will resort to wearing coverups. Until this body decides to compromise with me.

I also have had  the most tiring week, trying to explain my position on the Trayvon Martin case and verdict to those who are unwilling or unable to understand my frustration. I'm at the point now where I realize that I am beating a dead horse and I am no longer trying to have a logical conversation with these people. It's hard to believe that some people that I have known  for most of my life are so bigoted and narrow-minded. I had some inkling that they were during the Obama campaign. This case has definitely drawn the line on their position and sadly, I understand even more just how divided this country is.

I've ranted enough...Be blessed peeps!!!

Collards and Cornbread

I want something good to eat. I would like to sit down at a dinner table with family and friends and just have a decent meal. The only problem with that is I can't because I have been working everyday. Don't get me wrong. I am happy to have a job. Thankful to God and more than gratefu
l to not have to file unemployment.( Lord knows who came up with those figures). Anyway, I am getting very tired. Just exhausted and I am more than willing to help out but, damn. I have no time for anything. And everyone says " Well the money is great. " I retort " I can't spend it if I'm dead." Money isn't everything. Quality of life is so much more important to me. Since losing my mom, even more so. I want to be able to live each day, happily like it's my last. I'm not asking for wine and song and parties. Just a chance to relax and do what I want to do. Time to see my dad. Chat with my family and friends. Spend quality time with them. I joined the Eastern Star organization so I could really do some work in the community. How can I if I can't attend half of the functions? GOD GRANT ME SERENTIY... PATIENCE... I know and this too shall pass. Right now I am willing to settle for a good meal. Collards and Cornbread...yeah!!!!

Do You

I do not like potlucks at work. This time someone came up with the bright idea to include clients. As I look at the spread, I am associating dishes with people for instance Catwoman (hmm..three kitties) bought a spinach dip.She has enough cat hair on her chair to make a sweater.( I've seen pictures of her cat walking walking on her counters)...I'm good, thanks. Then there is Chatty-Patty whom I am sure cannot pay attention to details long enough to make this whatever this is. It's supposed to be potato salad...I don't think so. She put apples in it too?...Yum. Did you think that up yourself? I want to smack her for this one. Youngsta(26),bought meatballs, they are floating in oil. I don't think missy drained them . I mean I like her and all but, uh there is no way in hell that I am going to eat those greasy meatballs. One client bought cabbage, Ms.Nasty, I have this motto,If you don't wash your ass...need I say anymore? Another made a cake. It really does look good, but no.Another made baked-beans and even if I did eat them I wouldn't today because I know they may not all be beans. I bought paper products and drinks because I know some people feel like I do. I just cannot eat every ones food.It's nothing personal. My stomach is not made of cast iron and somethings are not meant for me to ingest.. Mr. Comedian bought chips,thank God! Wait is that Bojangles??? I will take my chances with that.

Juicyfruit

You know when you cannot eat, everything looks good. I have been noticing food in commercials that aren't even about food. While surfing I happened upon this brother G. Garvin on BET's Turn Up The Heat. Now I know good and well that I am not going to cook one single thing this man is making. But damn, he does it well. I'm not usually attracted to his type but I find him sexy. Maybe it's the man in the kitchen cooking thing. Or, maybe it's the fact that I'm hungry as hell and anyone in the kitchen cooking is sexy to me right now.