Slow Down

I must be losing my mind. In the past two weeks, I have lost my make-up case( left on a counter)as I removed it to get to my wallet. And who wants used make-up? You'd be surprised. Because when I went back to the counter it was gone.Two pair of earrings and then my wallet. Well, my wallet was stolen but,I still feel like it was my fault for not paying more attention to my pocketbook. Foolishly, I thought it was "safe". I hate to lose anything, ANYTHING!!! and most times I am very careful of my surroundings and my personal belongings. The process that I've gone through to cancel and replace my things will be another blog for another day.

I just have too much on my plate right now. Too many irons in the fire and I think I am getting burned out and scatterbrained. We all know that combination never works out for the best. I feel like, I'm hurried and thinking but not thinking.

This is not me, I gotta slow down...

Stay Blessed

Summertime

It's March. It is March and as I watch the snow melt out of my driveway you know that I am thinking...WTH. Talk about March Madness. Not only is it snowing, its cold here. I long for the sun beating on my head. For sweat, yes the kind that comes from just being too damn hot.(Not working out).I long for long days and short nights. For riding with my car windows down, or with my air conditioner on. Oh wait...the news says it's going to be 75 here this weekend...wth !!!

Pneumonia weather is what my grandmother called it. Still, I wish it would make up it's mind and just decide on warm, maybe even hot.

Other than the freezing of thine ass, my love life is holding on by a thread.Although, I have chosen to forgive his mother ( as I said I would from the beginning, I just don't forget) something is still missing. From our conversations, our time together is strained. Or at least that is how I am feeling. I try to express what I am feeling and I don't think I am getting through. And I am a great communicator. It's almost as if he wants to pretend that it never happen. Seriously, because now that I think about it, if it was mentioned I'm the one that brought the subject up.

You all know that I have asked God to grant me patience. And he has, I am soooo much better than I was. But, I also have ADD and I didn't ask for help with that and right now, I'm feeling antsy...the struggle continues....

Stay Blessed!!!

Dear Momma-Funny Valentines

Happy Valentines Day!

This post is going to be a bit unusual. This is not a post for my mother. Although I love her to death.I am involved with someone and happy with him. When we first started seeing each other we mentioned some things about our families. He did admit that his mother was crazy. ( yeah, I know we all have a crazy in the fam). I have my own drama with a family member so I know. But I never in a million years thought he really meant crazy. Straight jacket, need to be locked away for your own good CRAZY.

With out going into too much detail, I will say the events of this past week have shocked me. It began with a simple valentines gift and ended with me being called every thing, every thing but a child of God. I have never been involved with anyone and not gotten along with their parents. Mothers love me. Even after break ups they keep in touch. Wonder what the hell is wrong with their children, why'd they let me get away. So for this to be the case now is really new to me. I knew he was a mommas boy, an only child. But, DAMN his mother ( Who by the way was so in love with me last week) flipped so hard I thought I was in a remake of THE EXORCIST. And although this woman disrespected me in the worst way, I held my ground. I took the high road and what good would come from beating up an old woman?

The only thing that bothers me now is where will this lead us?( him and I) because although I can forgive. I will never forget.(Not even when her other personality resurfaces). And you can't really ask someone to choose between their own nutty as a fruitcake mother and you. Because it's his Mother.The struggle continues...

Enjoy this day, Stay Blessed!

AT LAST !!!!

Whether you voted for him or not, this day is profound for everyone. This day is proof that any one of us can overcome any obstacle. Whatever you are feeling right now at this moment in time, know that you have witnessed history. You have watched an America that you and I have only dreamed about, come to fruition. If only for today, when this man, Barack Obama's character was more important than the color of his skin. You can't help but feel emotional, as I witnessed our 44th president take his oath, with his wife by his side, with millions of people, young, old, black, white, rich and poor weathering the cold. Smiling like they were in the middle of the most tropical island. I was filled with so much pride and adoration. He addressed the nation in his cool manner that only he has. He was firm, strong, eloquent and gave Americans, all of us, a sense of hope. A sense that a new day has dawned. Lift every voice and sing!

The days ahead will be long. He will be over analyzed, criticized. He is but one man.

Pray for him
Pray for his family
Pray for this country

Yes we can, Yes we did! Congratulations Mr. President

Do You Remember The Time?

I am on the verge of 7 yearss bloggin' guys.Tomorrow is the day. This has been a very good outlet for me. It has allowed me to vent my frustrations, share my joys,spill my tears and Praise my God! I have met some of the most decent,funny, loving, kind, crazy,opinionated folks in this time. Words are powerful and the feedback/LUV I recieve from you guys is appreciated. I am grateful still to Stephen for asking me " Do you blog?"
Recently I have been missing, but don't think I don't miss it. So much is happening now...
Okay, don't tell nobody. Your girl is in deep. I like him. I mean I really like him. And you know what? I am so damn scared. I feel like I did with my very first boyfriend and I'm getting all fluttery inside when he calls me "baby" or the way he looks at me sometimes. Had I heard that line I just wrote under any other circumstance I would be putting a finger down my own throat. But,not this time and I don't want to let my guard down yet because....

I am guarded. I will find myself thinking of him and wanting to call but I don't because I don't want to feel like I'm putting myself out there. Maybe paying him too much attention. isn't that nuts? I know nothing in my past is this mans fault. But, all I know is I cannot repeat the things I did in the past. I can't/won't allow myself to ever be in that place again

"But when I lay in his arms, child it's easy pretending. This is a real fairytale"- Anita Baker.

I will quote a character from one of my own damn books. " If you get a scrape on your skin, you can put all the neosporin on it that you want. It'll never be that skin again, it's scarred." I guess that's how I feel. Just afraid really to open up.

He is a good man. I am a good woman and we deserve to be happy. So long as we do the work necessary. Respect each other and trust each other. Pray for me yall. I'm trying to be more KIND and GENTEEL being that some people( eyes rollin at them) almost gag when I say that about myself.But I really am...really...

Stay Blessed!

I Bust The Windows Out Your Car

Happy New Year! I hope you all had safe and enjoyable holiday season. I'm ready for 2009. I thank God for letting me be here to see it. Now, that I can breath a little more, I believe I can get here a little more often. The past few months have just been so stressful. I have a lot of reading to catch up on as well...



I don't how many of you are familiar with Jazmin Sullivan, but the title to this post is named for one of her songs. She is really a very talented singer, I had the opportunity to listen to her album (CD) and all I can say is a sis has been through some things. This song and I know this is not the way to react to any situation, but this song caught my attention. I want to go on record here saying, You should just walk away. Forget about it. Pray on it, let it go. I do not agree with her the actions she claims to have taken in this song , but I understand.

Grace

I know I have been the worst blogger ever! I have been so busy lately but I wanted to wish my blog family Happy New Year. As we go into this new year, my wish for each of you is for health, wealth and love. I have so much to be thankful for my family is doing well,my friends are genuine,my love life is Just Fine>.(now that I have one)

I pray for this country,my incoming President and each of you. I pray we are all abundantly blessed in this new year. Love one another,Cherish everyday!

Have A Very Happy New Year.

Can I?

Can I tell you how tired I am?

Forgive me if my thoughts are scattered. I have been running since Wednesday. I have finally realized that I am not as young as I used to be. My sister came down from Philly.It was so good to see her face. I miss her face. My brother's kids are making me feel... older 19, 16 and 10. ( where does the time go?) and my nephew appears to be growing every second with no end in sight. He's 6'6" now. Doing well, so believe me when I say God answers prayers. My 16 year old niece has grown into a beautiful young woman and the baby, 10 years old. I can see I'm going to have to kill off. Spoiled rotten! I think its safe to say my brothers genes are shit, because those kids look like their mother. So it was decided that since mom just came home from the hospital that I would do all the cooking. Crazy, I know, but I wanted to really...no really. And I did ( my thing).
After celebrating with my own family,this year for an extra added twist I had to go to HIS's mothers house. Even after refusing everything she offered, she seems to like me; Of course I have never had any problems with parents. Thank God. I do hear some horror stories. I guess she can see that her son has found an EXTRAORDINARY, PHENOMENAL woman. Seriously, it was odd for me, this whole dating thing again, trying to build something with someone. I guess it was odd for him too. We are still new, and this our first holiday together.
Then we made our rounds to friends houses, to watch football games and mingle ( I really don't like football) but,I got to meet his boys ,their wives,significant and some not so significant others. All of them, seemed cool.

All and all it was another wonderful holiday. I thank God for my family, my friends, for opening my heart to the possibility of loving again. For my life.

Stay Blessed!

Praise Up

It's that time again. Thanksgiving, those of you that read this blog often know that this is my favorite holiday.I am in the kitchen now still cooking. I don't even mind. Two days ago I was at the hospital because my mother had a scare. Today I am in her kitchen and she is watching me cook. ( Standing guard). I am blessed. She is fine and I couldn't be happier . God has blessed this family with another holiday together I .
pray that each of you have a safe and enjoyable holiday. Eat , drink and be thankful for all you have. Love one another.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Stay Blessed!

You Are My Friend

I am a people person. I love interaction with different types of people and feel that I can get along with anyone if given the chance. I was having a discussion with a person who informed me that he didn't have any friends. He said he only had acquaintances and he thought when people called themselves friends, they basically expected things from you.

I thought how sad. I have friends, true blue, do or die, ride or die, down for me friends. People that I can lean on tell my business, fall out with, party with, cry with and know they will always be there. I guess I am blessed.
My whole point to him was, what kind of friend are you? I have aligned myself with people who treat me the way I treat them. I feel if you act like a friend then I will treat you like one. I have had to let people that were my so-called friends go.
They did not treat me with the same level of respect that I gave them. They did not respect the relationship and therefore lost the title of "friend". They could no longer be anything to me, because once I extend my hand in friendship and you do something to soil that relationship in any way I have lost the trust that is needed to have a true friendship. Some people feel that is harsh. That forgiveness is needed. I do forgive. Don't get me wrong. Before I decide to end a friendship I look at the circumstances which led me to consider ending it. If I deem them harsh enough then it's over. I wish you well.

As I tried to explain this to him, it felt like he understood. But never having a friend in his life was a lot for me to take in. I asked him again, What kind of friend are you? He basically said he considered himself a good friend having gone out of his way many, many times only to be used. I told him he had to decide what types he choose to call his friends as well. Because friends don't use you. They don't call only when they need things and they don't abuse you in any way. A friend uplifts you when your down. Raising you even higher when your up. They are proud of you and feel nothing but love for you and truly want the best for you.

It was a bit much for him. People like this truly do exist. I know because I am blessed to have them in my life. My prayers that this young man will experience this in his lifetime..

Stay Blessed!