Friday, September 18, 2009

Never Would Have Made It

Yesterday was my fathers 72nd birthday. I am so blessed to say that. I wasn't given the opportunity to really appreciate how blessed yesterday, because our family was hit with some hard news. My brothers best friend, killed himself. Even as I type these words I find it so very hard to believe.I was already hurt by the fact that he was gone, but my brother is the one who found him. I believe that hurt me even more because I couldn't imagine having to find my best friend dead. I can't imagine finding anyone dead. But for someone I love,it would devastate me.

People always say. " Just know that they aren't suffering anymore" That is what I pray for most. I pray that he is not suffering. I pray that whatever it was that led him to take his own life is truly over now. The hardest thing I know for me will be watching my brother go through this. I hurt more, because I hurt for him. But this too will pass.

I'm trying to be strong, I haven't spoken a word to him. Not yet because I know when I talk to him or see him I will fall apart. I have been blessed enough in my life not to know death. Not to have to miss love ones or bury them. I have only attended 1 funeral in my life. This will be the second.

I thank God for delivering me from my pain. For seeing me through when I couldn't see. For making a way, when there was no way. For giving me the strength I needed to go on. I pray he is at peace.

Live your life to the fullest Stay Blessed!

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

You've Changed

I know that it has been a minute since I was last here. I have been really busy with work and moving and just getting my life back in order. Since the last time that I wrote there hasn't been any major issues. I am still dating, but no longer in a relationship. (So to speak). Yet, I remain hopeful that I will find my soulmate. God just isn't done with me. I have been feeling lately that I need to do more with my life. I need to be more active in my community. I need to reach out to some of these kids. Try to make a difference. I'm just feeling like I am stuck. You all know that's not me.

My family is well. My father will be 72 years old tomorrow. I am blessed to have both of my parents. I appreciate their wisdom and guidance to this day. My brother and sister and the rest of the clan are fine. ( Although, my sis still refuses to have a kid) I'm going to give her another year.

So I am back to writing again. Sorry I have been away so long. I hope you all are doing ok. I pray we all prosper.

Until blessed!