Tuesday, October 31, 2006


Happy Halloween! I didn't buy any candy this year. I haven't had any trick-o-treaters come to my door since I moved here. Maybe the previous resident never gave out any and the kids think they still live here. I miss this time with my neices and nephew. They are too old to go now. Or too cute, pick one. But me, I was still trick-o-treating in 11th grade. It was so much fun. Not just getting all that candy. Just hanging out with my friends and buggin out. One year this came out...

Not only had my friends and I learned every step, we put on the thriller show often. ( I still know the steps) Since it was halloween we figured what better time to demostrate our moves. We were on a new block that year. Just as we were getting our groove heading up this driveway to the door. These things ( people of course) we found out much later. Started coming up out of the ground. Talk about scattering. Yeah it's funny now. It wasn't then. This family decided that they would be ghouls and scare the unsuspecting when they got close to the door. To this day, I cannot tell you what happened to my candy. I can tell you, I honestly could have beaten Flo-Jo that night. Those were the days man. I wish kids still had fun like that.

Monday, October 30, 2006

If You Believe

I took the weekend to read this novel. I know I'm a Johnny come lately. I just never got around to it. Mr. Brown has brought the streets of Paris, Rome and London tothe reader vividly. He leaves no small detail out.I've always been interested in history and puzzles so this book was perfect. I found it to be a very good story...I was really into the book and found that I could not put it down. I had to know what new clue would be waiting for the main characters Langdon and Neveu. I had to know what Silas would do to them to get those clues and who was the Teacher.I love plot twist and turns and this book had many. I knew the Roman Catholic Church was upset over this book. However, I never really knew why. Honestly, I did not. I am not Catholic so I figured, it must be something within that religion, something about the Opus Dei. I vaguely remembered seeing something on television about them. I was happily turning pages. Almost midway through the book a character named Leigh Teabing was introduced. He and Langdon were colleagues and they found themselves having to explain what the Holy Grail was. I will not not go into the details, I don't want to spoil it for anyone that has not read it. I will say that I now understand why the Roman Catholic Church is upset. I can understand how any Christian based faith would be upset about this book. Although, (God is not through with me yet), I was raised in the Baptist church. I do consider myself spiritual and I believe in the God,Jesus Christ and the Bible.After reading this characters explanation of the what the Holy Grail is, I lost the zeal I had for this novel. Funny thing faith, anything that challenges our personal beliefs has to be wrong.That is exactly what I felt, that I was wrong for reading this novel. I tried to dismiss that feeling by telling myself that it's just a historically based book of fiction. I consider myself open minded,and an author myself. I know how far ones imagination can carry them. I am a strong believer that you can not argue any points you know nothing about. You may try but you will only be made to look foolish so I finished the book. My criminal justice professor told us to never ask a question you do not know the answer to, the result could be devastating. I understand that you may take from this novel anything that you want. But trust that my answer will always be... MY GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD!

Friday, October 27, 2006


You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute

This is the hook of Beyonce's latest. I lke it. I understand where she is coming from. Of course there is always a song that we can relate to. Some artist pens a lyric that touches you in a way that makes you think the song was written for you. Of course I'm more Old School. I'm a I Will Survive type of woman. Although these words come from someone's pain, surrounded by music they make us all feel a little better sometimes. For that I am thankful. Happy Friday!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Hips Don't Lie

I bought this program Yourself Fitness a year ago. I had no excuses anymore because I finally had my own personal trainer. Just like Oprah. Her name is Maya and she will set up a regiment based on the information ( fitness goals) that you put in the program. She ask that you check your heart rate ( and recommends seeing your doctor) before beginning the program. She is soft-spoken, encouraging and inquisitive if you miss a session. She also comes quite a few recipes.
Now that I am losing I must tone so I won't be jingling Baby even when standing still. So I decided to give Maya another chance. I understand that I must change my diet;incorporate more veggies and fruit into my day. I will NEVER stop eating meat. Although Ruben is looking good.. I understand that I cannot have the whole damn sleeve of Chip Ahoys anymore. I get it.
What I am not getting is Maya. She has a few moves that I would have to enroll in a karate or contortionist class to do. Scratch that. I would have to have BEEN in one of those classes for a very long time to do these moves. So I'm watching her ( like a movie) do the steps and I'm thinking, did she forget the information that I put in? Is my Xbox on the fritz? Did I give her the correct numbers? I finally just came to the realization.... She must be crazy. I pressed on but I changed her name quite a few times. Hopefully it will get better.

Monday, October 23, 2006

You Were Loved

My weekend was full of wonderful surprises. First I found out that my computer does not have to be destroyed ( by me). I just needed to let someone who knew what they were doing set it up. ( Yay!) . The second surprise came along with the first. My brother was the one who set my puter up. He said once I got rid of the ME ( medieval Edition ) as he called it. I would be good to go. It was a shock for him to come over. Usually, if he has a problem ( and that has to be a very serious one) he will call me. We have never really been close. ( Because as a child he was a rotten kid and as Celie said" Made my life a living hell.") In our young adult lives that carried over. As time went on our relationship was a bit strained, mostly because we are both very headstrong. We had different opinions on almost every subject. During his visit though, we just chilled and Lawd knows, we haven't done that in sometime. No drama, no fighting. Just hanging out with my baby bro and it felt pretty good. I guess we have both mellowed a bit. I miss just having a conversation with him. Reminiscing about our childhood. Enjoying music together. As he was leaving he hugged me and told me he loved me, I knew that I just don't hear it too often. I told him I love you too man...I really do.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Computer Blue

I hate this computer. I was rather proud of myself for making a few upgrades to my computer myself. It was running wonderfully and being that it was I FINALLY decided to get high speed internet access, I thought it would introduce me to the world wide wow! Besides I was tired of my sister calling her the Flintstone computer. Now, that I have high speed, it's not running much faster than before. I can talk on the phone ( Yay!) but, I don't really want to when I'm on the computer. Anyway, I'm going to suck it up and take it to CompUSA, or Best Buy. Either this or throw it out the damn window...

Thursday, October 19, 2006


Since I decided to end a relationship that wasn't going were I thought it should go, I've missed him. I miss the time that we shared. Normally this is where I give in to the madness and answer his calls.Now is when he's thinking that he has given me enough time to calm myself. Truthfully, when I hear his voice I want to pick up the phone so badly. I want to tell him come on over. I want to spend time and have extraordinary make- up sex. But I'm being firm. I meant exactly what I told him, it was exactly how I felt. Like my life was being put on hold for him. I promised myself, that I would never do that to myself again. So why does it hurt so bad?. I was at a point where I so miserable, at a point where it felt like pulling teeth to have a decent conversation.Trying to be understanding to his needs and not so harsh. ( As I am told I can be). And I can be. I know that. But enough for me was enough. Now that I've had enough he wants to the person that I wanted all along. He has time to listen and he "understands' how selfish he was. I find myself believing him., but I don't know if it's really the fact that I want to believe him or because it's the truth. I can't chance it. I'm not talking about a minimal amount of time spent with this man. He had years to see me for who I am. Years to understand the makings of me. Years to see the relationship was one he didn't want to lose. Years I feel now wasted. I don't have the time anymore. I won't be singing "I just love the man" around the house. Although, sometimes I want to, but in time I will be fine.

I will complain, yet praise;
I will bewail, approve;
And all my sour-sweet days
I will lament and love.

—from "Bitter-Sweet" by George Herbert

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

One Thing

Of the things I find sexy in a man, the thing I find the most irresistable is a brother who is well spoken. When a man speaks and knows what he is talking about. Lawd. I come apart. Not to be confused with a a man who just talks alot. I'm not talking about a man who thinks he knows every damn thing and won't shut the hell up. I'm speaking of a man who has the ability to listen and then comment. I'm speaking of a man who commands the room when he speaks. Not someone who is brash or condesending. Someone that people want to hear.They are interested in what he as to say. I'm speaking of a man who has me grabbing a dictionary because I don't KNOW the word he just used. This type of man leaves me shaking. He doesn't have to be attractive to the eye, because his mind feeds my soul. ...With that said...


Whew.... I know , he's married...but Damn!!He was on Oprah today and this is yet another time that I am kicking myself for not having TiVo.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Say, Say, Say

My friends are always going on and on about how I quote movie lines. I do. I am quite the movie watcher. Life often imitates art and there are many opportunities when something a character said in one of those movies that I have seen fit the circumstance that I am faced with. I mostly watch comedy and drama. Lord knows as much as we try to be drama free it happens. Sometimes with a comedy twist, just for fun...
Because I am completely bored and it's raining outside I will list my most favorite lines. Maybe you know some of them. Maybe you don't. I will list the movie that they come from at the bottom...no peeking!

1. Keep sailing Bob!
2. It was a stone,cold, groove my man.
3. Just don't say you didn't do it because it insults my intelligence
4. Well why don't you go back over there and keep watching
5. All this shabooya has got to stop!
6. Excuse me sir, I speak jive
7. Bitch you better drive!
8. Just because your name is lady Heroine doesn't mean you have to sell it
9. Does it look like I got a number?
10. Ain't nobody coming to see you Otis.
11. Miss a step today, you'll be frying fish tomorrow.
12. We're in the business of being in business. So let's go business!
13. You looking at me with all that familiarity.
14. Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?
15. We ain't friends Jake.
16. Fixin' to shave mister
17. Us breakers don't take too long to do nothing
18. Is that enough truth for ass?
19. The beatings will now begin!
20. Do I amuse you?

1. What About Bob?
2.Trading Places
3. The Godfather
4.The Bodyguard
5. Get on the Bus
6. Airplane
7. Just Cause
8. Harlem Nights
9. Five Heartbeats
10. The Temptations
11. What's Love Got To Do With It
12. Brewster's Millions
13. He Got Game
14.Rush Hour
15. A Time to Kill
16. The Color Purple
17. Let's Do it Again
18. Baby Boy
19. Bill Cosby Live
20. Goodfellas

Where My Girls At?

Harpo who dis woman?

I am the first one to give it up for black love. Any love. But people I tell you I think I am in a remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, My girls are one by one falling prey to "The Others". I'm not hating. Let me explain,although I am not in a serious relationship at this time,I have had them.I was still Wendy, all day, everyday. That's all I am going to be. I have one friend who was married and now she has completely disappeared from the face of the earth. I'm ready to file a missing persons report. I mean ok, this is the honeymoon phase of the relationship, and lord knows that she waited to find the man of her dreams. However, I have heard from this woman 3 times since she married.( Still haven't seen her) We have been friends for 21 years. It's been nine months. Where my people at? I have another who has been in a relationship for 2 years.Sis has turned into..into...I don't know who the hell this woman is. Some of the shit she says to me, has me wanting to research personality disorders. Multiple in particular. Another who is actually dating a man who physically abused her.Physically...laying of the hands. WTF??? He apologized and said he would never do it again. Well don't most ABUSERS) say that?Give me a break. I gotta get an exorcist for this one. Again, I'm not hating. I think I am just missing the people they used to be. Before the men. I know that you want to kick it with your man, but hello....Remember me?, The one who listened to all your bitching, waiting with you,wishing you'd exhale,hoping that man finds his way out of that cave in Tibet? I have never neglected my friendships because I had an other. I never neglected my man for my friends. Am I somehow special because I was able to do both? We'd have roundtables about women losing themselves to their men, and shake our heads, raise our fist and vow to never be one of them, so I'm just wondering what happened to those women ? Or is it that they were pretending and tricked me into thinking we had similar thought patterns. Well you know what? I'm not going to say that the men are controlling them. These women are in control of their own faculties ( I pray ) They've chosen these paths themselves. But it's just mind boggling to me. Maybe I'm being too harsh.They appear to be happy. And what do we really want for our peeps? Happiness. So I will wait for them to back away from the light.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Can We Talk

My girl said "Daddy wants me to meet him at..."Silly me, I thought she meant her father. Why do women do that? I take issue with calling my man "Daddy, Big Daddy or anything pertaining to Paternity. To me it's something a little twisted about this. I mean the very last person I want to be thinking about when I am thinking of my man is my father. Does calling me babygirl mean I have to call you daddy? To each their own of course. It's just a little weird to me.

I have become completed obsessed with the Sims 2 and I have got to get a grip before they become my only friends.

I missed the number by one today( Pick three). I'm getting closer. Since we got the lottery I have only played twice. Even though I talked crazy junk about North Carolina for not having one.

People never say anything about your weight until you lose it. Why is that? Now everyone has something to say.. I still have 15 more pounds until I reach my goal weight. Not the goal weight because I won't see 125 again. Not trying to look crackish.

Anyone else think Dr. Burke's love life could be a whole lot more interesting? Bring Dianne Carroll back...I have some ideas.

Damn, I am so very sick of the media ragging Mel. I do not think that it would have been taken to this extreme had that racial slur been something else.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

I Just Came Here To Chill

Everytime I stop blogging for a significant amount of time I'm out of wack. This is my therapy. I've been through quite a bit these past few months. Heaven knows my God watches over me. Because quite frankly...( I remember when I lost my mind). I have gone through so many emotions and haven't let any of them out.. When I write they come out and I know this. I had just been blah...

I'm baaaaaack, got my old school groove going on and I'm ready to shine. I wrote three full chapters yesterday. I just couldn't stop. And they are good. I'm not just saying this because it's my work. They are good. I had been blocked for so long and the words just came. I got my stride back. My characters and developing into people we all know and love, and some we hate. But enough about that...for now.

My sis fell and injured her ankle, She's accident prone. But thankfully okay. Mom and dad are fine. My baby ( that would be my nephew) is 16 soon to be 17 and soon to be a father. Do I want to kill him off? Yes! Lord knows we have all talked til' we are blue in the face about protecting yourself. Kids, just don't care about consequences of their actions but he will. Soon. I couldn't sugarcoat his predicament for him. I understand that we all make mistakes. But this is a big one and I want to make sure that although it was a "mistake" ( Jury still out on this one) it won't happen again and again. This is one that you need to learn from. It can't even imagine this child with a child. It's still and effort to get him to shower everyday. He hasn't even finished high school! I WANT TO PLANT MY ENTIRE FOOT IN HIS ASS! Forgive me. I know I'm ranting.

One of my favorite divas from back in the day passed last week. Tamara Dobson better known as Cleopatra Jones. May she rest in peace.