Sunday, December 31, 2006

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

The Time Of My Life

Christmas has come and gone. I hope each of you had a wonderful holiday. I don't know what I did to blogger. It takes forever to log in on this Beta. Hopefully the kinks will be worked out soon.
My sister brought her germs with her from Philly. She is all better now though and I am coughing and sneezing. My family is a trip, full of comedians who truly missed their calling. Dinner was great for the most part. Even though I got blamed for burning up the cornbread, it was actually my sister who was responsible. Now I did slightly ( ever so) slightly burn the top of the mac and cheese. But, I can explain see what had happened was still good. My father used his camcorder the entire day into the next. So much so, by today we were like "Are you filming us again." You just gotta love him. My family enjoyed all the gifts they received. My niece is into wrestling this year. She's eight and going through a boy phase so she practically stepped on the dolls we bought her to get to the wrestling game my brother got her. He also bought her boxing gloves. They are bigger than she is.

I went to see Dreamgirls. If you haven't gone, go!!! This was a great movie. I restrained myself from singing all the songs. Everyone did an excellent job with their character. Jennifer Hudson's rendition of And I am telling you ,will bring tears to your eyes. Miss Hudson did her damn thing!!!

We lost James Brown and Micheal Evans( the 1st Lionel on The Jeffersons) and former President Ford. My prayers to their families and friends. I also have a blog friend who lost her mother on Christmas. I cannot even imagine her pain. May they all rest in peace.

You ever just look at your people and thank God that you are related to them? That's how I feel, blessed to know them. Grateful that God chose this crazy bunch for me.

Friday, December 15, 2006

It's the Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

I love this time of year! Not just because I get gifts! This is normally the holiday when my entire family comes together. I can't wait to sit and reminisce with my siblings about our childhood. I look forward to cooking with my mother and her watching guard( like I don't know what I'm doing), wrapping gifts, sipping egg nog ( I'll have to spike it),singing Christmas carols! I'm like a big kid this time of year. Is it me or are people in a better mood (that could be because it's payday/bonus time too) I don't even mind my commute. The only snag in this whole season is shopping for me. Don't get me wrong. I love to shop. I just don't want to shop with the crowds, but there is no way around it.This kid right here, my god baby, I'm going to spoil. I think I'll get him something real noisy, LMAO I think his parents will really appreciate that. I wish each of your a very MERRY CHRISTMAS, and I thank God for the blessing of the spirit, I wish we could be this way all the time. For those that cannot celebrate I pray that God makes a way for them and better days are ahead.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Something Just Ain't Right

After reading God Don't Like Ugly, I quickly jump on the Mary Monroe bandwagon. I love the way she tells her story. You can relate to her characters, if you do not see yourself in them, then you know someone like them. I have purchased every one of her books except this one. Why? Because I used to buy all my books from MediaPlay, I even joined their Rewards program which gave you money back after you purchased so many items. Good deal right? I mean I was buying the books anyway so why not earn point towards my next purchase. Well MediaPlay went out business here. Taking my reward points with them. I was pissed! Some time after they went out of business I get an invite from F.Y.E( For Your Entertainment), saying they will honor MediaPlay rewards customers. Great! Mind you the only F.Y.E I know is through the woods and around the mulberry bush in West Hell. But I NEED to read, and I don't like going to the library, because I collect novels of my favorite authors and I get to redeem my points! So, I make the journey to F.Y. E. where I do not find my book in the AFRICAN AMERICAN AUTHOR section so I ask a clerk if I can order it. She says yes and I do.Today I make the journey again and my book is still not there. Although, I have a notice that says it has come in. The manager tells me that due to inclement weather their shipment didn't come and apologizes. That's understandable, but shouldn't you send the notices out after your shipments arrive? So I travel the 45 minutes ( on a good day) back home without my book. After wasting all my gas to get the stupid reward points , that I still didn't get. It's just not worth it. F.Y.E. means something totally different to me now. I'm going to Amazon...

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Baby I'm Back

What Blogger and I are having is a failure to communicate. Obviously, I misunderstood some of the directions for comments html. Thank you JenellyBean for bringing it to my attention again! I accept that right now Blogger does not want me to add my own flavor to my comment section. So for now, they have won the battle. But the war AIN'T over. Once again, everything appears to be working. Go ahead and give it a shot.LOL

I am officially on the I can't wait to see Dreamngirls list. I found this site DreamgirlsThis fan has posted a countdown to opening day clock , she is serious! She also has a few clips from the movie( spoilers) and articles about the cast. This film looks great.Congrats to Jennifer Hudson for her many awards and her outstanding performance.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Lose Control

Yes I had to change my dress. My slip was hanging. Thank you JenellyBeanfor pointing out the blogger problems to me. I planned to change for the New Year, so I'm just a little early. Blogger always starts out like this..Then after I find a template, read everything related to those html codes,until I get a headache. It starts acting like this... a damn fool!

Hopefully everything is okay now. I sure hope so because I do not want to go through this again. At least not until next year.

I know my sister is screaming at the top of her lungs Please say it ain't so! But ...Allen Iverson is leaving Philadelphia.The News I'm a Bulls/Heat/Lakers fan any chance he could go to one of those teams?

Friday, December 08, 2006

Thank God It's...

Is there anyone else looking forward to the weekend as much as I am? I thought I'd end the week on a cheerful note! This is borrowed from my girl Ope' on Myspace.

If Your Life Was a Movie…..what's playing???????
Let's say there was a movie about your life.
What would be the opening credits song?


Choose One Scenario

If they showed footage from you in

A) childhood or

B) teen years or

C) early 20's

You can name up to four songs…

what would be the songs playing

and what would the actor playing you have on?

To top it all off….

Who would be playing you?

What would the name of the movie be?

My answers were...

Opening Credits…

Mahogany's Theme….Diana Ross

Teenage Moments Scenes….

Bad Girls- Donna summers

Gonna Take a miracle…..Denise Williams

Time will reveal…..DeBarge

Let's Dance to the drummer's beat- …. Herm Edwards


Izod Shirts layered ,Tale Lords,my name chain/ my Nikes with the white stripe ( a must have)and my Sheepskin. Hair feathered, and big. Dag, that took me back!

Leading Actress

Jill Marie Jones ( Toni from Girlfriends)


The Reason Why I Sing

End Credits

I am changing... Jennifer Holiday ... I added this one.

What's your take?
Have a great weekend everyone!

Thursday, December 07, 2006


I don't wake up with this smile.I'm thankful don't get me wrong, just not a morning person. As far back as I can remember I have hated to get up. My mother used to have to threaten me. Once she said " If I have to come in there." I would get up because(1) I didn't want her in my room.(2) It was much too early for violence. Although, I'm not in the best of moods when I get up once I get some soap&water on my body and some coffee in me, I graduate from pissed to grumpy. Around 11, I will start waking up.I start to become the Wendy people usually see, sort of like a Jeckle and Hyde. Everyone who knows me, knows this. Everyone. My co-workers have a way of getting on the very last nerve I have left though. They will they not leave me alone and let me gradually wake-up. They feel they have to talk to me about things I don't really want to talk about at 9 o'clock if it isn't work related. I don't care about your pets, kids, grandkids, or boyfriends/girlfriends right now( That's what I get for being so friendly when I am fully awake). I KNOW my face tells them this, but they ignore it. They are cheerful morning people happily moving from desk to desk and spreading their cheer, showing pictures, complimenting outifts, sharing breakfast and such. Now that the weather has changed I'm even grumpier, and I'm cold dammit. I just want to thaw out and wake up.I mind my business. I don't go from desk to desk. I am cordial and I sit down and start doing my job. So for people to approach me and say " Smile, it's not that bad". Or,"What's wrong, smile" irks the hell out of me. I want to post this pic on my wall and underneath I want it to say When you need a smile from Wendy before noon look here.Too harsh? Forgive me, it's early.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006


Everyday when I get my coffee from the store;I see this guy, he is absolutely gorgeous. We have come to the point now where we are conversing with each other ( About how long and horrible our days will be and coffee). He is 6'3-4, chocolate, slim waist, mustache, goatee, long eyelashes. Yes, I have checked him out. I've never been the type to approach men. But for this brother I was re thinking that. Today while we were passing creamers to each other I noticed a BAND on his finger. DAMN,DAMN,DAMN! Where the hell did that come from? I didn't even want to talk to him anymore. Believe me when I say it wasn't there before because that is one of the first things I look for. But I just had to know, so I casually asked "How long have you been married"? He said 2 years, 2 very long years. I said "Come on, it's better than being single". His face said otherwise. For me things changed.

I take it from his response that the ring wasn't there all along because he removes it. I only wonder why he stays married if he is so miserable? Why bring the drama into your life or someone else's? I'm glad I didn't approach him now. My daydreams with him are fading. All I can imagine now is a WIFE...

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

A Long Walk

I walked a mile yesterday. I haven't walked since Thanksgiving. Talk about struggling, you would think I walked 20. With the weather change I'm finding it harder to get out there, although there is a track across the street from my home. I hate cold weather. The whole point of moving south was to get away from it. It seems it has followed me here. We don't get Long Island cold, but it gets cold.

As I was walking and thinking, I noticed a young woman there with her child. She had strapped the child into a stroller and was walking circles literally, around me. I thought, what dedication. At that point I felt ashamed of myself for not having this drive. I get so lazy sometimes. I find myself thinking of excuses to not exercise. I don't care what anyone says, I will never love to work out. This always happens when I've lost, I start slacking. Talking myself into thinking I'm not that fat. All of the people I started walking with have fallen off months ago. Of course they only needed to lose 10-20 pounds in the first place. But this young woman has inspired me. The more I watched this woman speed walk with her child the more I knew I had to keep this regiment up. So I am re-dedicating myself to me!

In other news ....Is anyone using the new Blogger Beta? Is it really any better than the old version.. Every time I log in it's thrown into my face.Let me know if you are using this newer version.

I've added my favorite Christmas song to this blog. Hearing this one always puts me in a good holiday, spirit-filled mood. Donny Hathaway's This Christmas...Enjoy!

Did anyone catch Mary J on the Billboard awards yesterday? She did her thing!

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Just Call My Name

I hate the B word. I want to bust out with Queen Latifah's U.N.I.T.Y. every time I hear it. I'm no saint. I've been known to say a colorful (blue) phrase or two, but this word makes me cringe.

Websters says: Main Entry: 1bitch
Pronunciation: 'bich
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English bicche, from Old English bicce
1 : the female of the dog or some other carnivorous mammals
2 a : a lewd or immoral woman b : a malicious, spiteful, or overbearing woman -- sometimes used as a generalized term of abuse
3 : something that is extremely difficult, objectionable, or unpleasant

Nothing positive there, or anything about MEN. I guess that's where the Son comes in.

I hate when women call their friends this name and try to pass if off as love..How did this start? Who made up their mind that it was okay to accept being called this word, and it was cool?

I hate when parents call their children this, how it just rolls out of their mouths like they are saying pookie. I believe your job is to build esteem, self worth and pride. Saying this to a your child is uncalled for. Years later when they are on the couch or the pole they can thank you.

I hate when men say it.When he says it, at that point his is letting you know that you are no longer respected by him. You are reduced from human to canine, therefore he considers you beneath him. So if you are his bottom B , His gansta B, or just his B. Wake up, no one will respect you if you don't respect yourself. Even if you are acting a complete fool, there are other forms of expression. Funny how these same men will be ready to do bodily damage when you throw a quick your mother back their way.

There is no positive spin to this word. Any use of it is derogatory. Whether noun, verb or adjective it is meant to demean you. Don't accept this as a badge of pride because someone made a keychain out of the word. If you are Beautiful, Intelligent, Talented,Charming and Humorous. Then be all those things. If you are shrewd, hard and evil then, you are just shrewd,hard and evil.That is you! You might want to pray on that. But unless you have four legs, bark and Alpo is on the menu. HONOR YOURSELVES!,expunge the word from your life..

Friday, December 01, 2006

Let's Dance

Tonight I am going dancing. Well I'm going to a club, but I'm actually going to dance.No hugging the wall for this sista. No scanning the room waiting for the one to ask me. The thing about me is I don't need a partner to get my groove on. I need a beat. I don't have time to sit around and wait.I'm not holding any pocketbooks. My girls think I'm crazy but, if I wanted to sit and watch other people dance I could stay home and watch Soultrain.

I can smell the rain though. When it rains my knees act a fool. I may be two-stepping but I'll be moving. I will never understand all that preparation to sit in a chair all night. Back in the day I never sat down. For one, there was no where to sit in those crowded house parties. And two, I didn't have much time. I had a twelve o'clock curfew so I had to get as much partying in as possible. I'd dance alone, with a partner, my girls, it didn't matter. If I danced alone nobody thought it was strange.

We had the dances to master. I didn't do the alligator though. There was too much dirty in that dance for me. Never did the break dancing thing either. We had a good time. Isn't that the point? You go out with your peeps and have a good time. Relax,cut-up a little bit. I see some mean looks when I go out, just angry. Why be there if you have to look that way? I want to ask "What's the matter honey? Are your shoes too tight?"

They won't steal my joy though. I'm going to dance until my knees say, I better sit down. Then I'll chair dance. Hopefully these people will get up for something besides the electric slide . It's Friday y'all!, put on your red shoes and Dance!,Dance!,Dance!

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Self Destruction

Here goes my rant- I went to see Jackass 2. No I haven't seen Jackass 1. I should have known anything with Jackass in the title would not be funny. First, I would like to point out that it was not my choice. I would also like to point out that I did not drive. If I had, I would have only saw the first 10 minutes of this movie. What the hell is going on? I mean there is actually a market for buffoons to make money doing all kinds of outrageous, nasty, dangerous shit TWICE!! I couldn't bear to watch parts of this movie. I have never snuck into a movie, but I found myself wanting to sneak into another one last night.

I always felt if you have a venue where you could reach millions, say something positive.Do something positive. That's just me. These idiots, well I might as well call them genius because they have actually gotten away with this mess. TWICE!! used the call to act like fools, prancing around half naked doing a bunch of idiotic, juvenile pranks.This is not funny to me. I understand some guys really love this but why? Seeing people hurt or try to hurt themselves is not funny. It's sick, demented, twisted.It's a a call for help. These men should be put away for their own good. However,being that these movies have been successful, it only reinforces the fact that morals have gone to hell with gasoline drawz on. Anything goes, it's such a sad state of affairs.

I would caution parents to not let their children watch this one. I understand you cannot be everywhere, but if at all possible. Keep this one of out the home. I hate to think of a child watching this movie somewhere. I can guarantee that I will be choosing the next movie.This one lived up to it's name and wasn't even worth the two hours I can never get back from my life or the 1.50.

Sunday, November 26, 2006


I thought this cat was too cute. His hair kind of looks like mine did today. What a week! I have been running since Wednesday. I know that I have to be thankful for all the food that I ate this week. ( Need to add a day to my workouts after this one) I shouldn'type this but, I am turkeyed out. Everyone has turkey left! I didn't cook any collards this year and a sis can't buy a bowl from anyone. I take that back, there is someone I know, but she has food left for a reason. I'm not going to risk it. I will just wait for Christmas.I hope everyone enjoyed there holiday. I put up my Christmas tree today, it's a beautiful little Charlie Brown tree. I went with blue and silver this year. Mostly because I found a box of silver bulbs that I never used. But hey, it's a good looking tree. I was going to try to take a picture but my puter is missing some sort of driver it tells me and I am not about to go through trying to fix it again. Even computer repair for dummies is too hard for me. People that know what they are doing and are constantly saying " All you have to do is..." make me sick. Nevermind the fact that they aren't willing to do it themselves or pay for the costly repairs when I tear it up. I finaly got MySpace page looking like something. Check me out ( Sorry blogger links are not working again) I'm still trying to add my blog to the page. Having some issues there. But if you have a space add me. A sis needs some friends.... Anyway, I had a great holiday, a very nice weekend. I can't complain.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Games People Play

Every since the release of the latest gaming system by Nintendo the Wii I have seen people on the news that have lost their minds. I know that these games can be intense but damn, swinging on people. Now there was a story here where the people stood in line for hours waiting for Circuit City to open and when it finally did they were already sold out. Now that warrants someone getting a cussin'. It was cold. I'm sure somebody knew that system wasn't there. Let a sis know. Not that I am standing in line for any game.

I figure there must be something really special about a game that would make you do this. I have an Xbox. Confiscated by me because my nephew wanted to act a foolio in school after he got it.He never bought the grade up. So I got an Xbox and I played a few of the games it's all right. Too many buttons going on for me. ( I had the Commodore 64 /Atari games) I'm a Sims person. I happily play my little people and live vicariously for the moment, through them. Now there are times when I am playing for hours and I have to get up and face reality. I understand these people are hooked. I have a brother who doesn't even want to take a break to eat.

But come on, it's a game people! Shooting and robbing folks. What is really going on? Then my brother called and told me they are selling for more than quadruple the price on Ebay. Oh,I get it. It's an investment, with a quick turn around on profit. Still doesn't justify all the madness. But now I can understand why some choose to stand in line for it 5 hours before the store even opened.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Open Up My Heart

-Just one word can make a difference in what I do Lord

Ever have a pastor deliver a sermon you needed? Right after he announced what the sermon is about you thought he'was going to point and say, " This is for you so, pay attention." I'm stubborn though. I sometimes don't want to hear it. That inner voice, the doubting Thomas,that makes you turn a deaf ear to the truth. I've been concerned about a few things recently. I won't go into detail, just life lessons. I've learned that God always answers prayers. Always. The answer comes sometimes as soon as we pray. As soon as you get up you know. But we don't listen, we want to wait and see if another answer is coming. If you pray harder that he will change his mind. Kind of like when I was a child and continued to beg my parents for something, hoping against hope that the negative answer would change. Finally my mother would have enough and she would say " Not another word." Then give me the look.Trust me, that would be the end of that.

Being the human I am, I sometimes need God to give me the look. His final word on the subject. Then I know what has to be done. I find myself saying aloud "Okay Father, I get it." Whenever I go against what's in my heart, and with my hard head it's not right. And,we all know what a hard head gets ( Or at least used to get back in the day). I have no one to blame because I got the answer and ignored it. But I'm thankful for his final word. Whether it be yes or no. For him taking the time to listen, to his spoiled, stubborn child. So thankful that He guides me until I'm sure.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006


This was a play. Now it's going to be a motion picture. I wanted so badly to see this play while on Broadway. I never did. When the opportunity presented itself I chose something else, thinking I would go another time. Last year I had the chance again to go see a revised cast. I didn't go, I wanted still to see the orignal. And since they weren't going to be there niehter would I. I'm not taking anything from the wonderful cast memebers. Through the years I have heard rave reviews for different cast members. But nothing beats an original. No one on this earth can sing And I am telling you like Jennifer Holiday. I must be the only person on earth who never got to see, but knows every song for this play.I had to sing I am changing at an event for school.In the process of learning the song. I learned the songs for the enitre play. As I listened I imagined the scenes in my head. I hope the film does the play justice. I eagerly await.
I don't usually see Jaime and shout, "He's Fine!" But brotha is looking pretty good in this shot.

I did finally get the chance to see part of the original cast, thanks to You tube. The best part... It was a wish fulfilled for me. By the time she hit the last note,I had tears in my eyes.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Smiling Faces

You ever find yourself hanging out with someone and wish you weren't. I went to a reunion of sorts with old co-workers. We were a great group of people when I worked at this company and I still keep in contact with most of them. But, there is always one. I never called her, never returned any of her calls and avoided her at work. Seems like she would get the message. She doesn't. She is an older woman, you know the one at work who takes on the motherly role. Thinks she has knowledge on every subject and tries to tell you what's up, from her view. I have a mother and the advice that she did give to others was wack. So I just always thought she was aggravating as hell. My grandmother used to call her type uncouth. She will ask the most personal questions, in front of everyone. She will invite herself into conversations that she is not involved in. She will tell all your business.
I take awhile to cozy up to a person. I like to watch and see if you are the type of person I want to be bothered with. If I get a bad vibe from you in the beginning, it usually turns out that was for a reason. That was the vibe I always got from her.
So, I'm making my rounds, you know working the room and I see her. I try to make a beeline to the kitchen to avoid her ass and I'm cut off. I can't turn around and go back because my girl is behind me. Aw, Damn. So I'm stuck. This is how the convo went.
She: " Hey girl, check you out. You've lost weight huh?"
Me: (Dry as hell) " Yeah a little something."
She: " Yeah,you look good. I just saw him, in the grocery store the other day"
Me: ( Still moving) "Really?"
She: "Yeah, he's looking good too. He still working for? Blah, blah blah.
Me: How does she know who he works for? I never told her. " Yes."
She: " Y'all been together for a minute. When y'all getting married?"
Me: I swear the whole room stopped. Like that old E.F. Hutton commercial. Most of the people in this room know he and I have split.At least three of them know this fool. And if she knows where he works . She knows that. I know she does.Now,I am just done. " Why?"

By, this time I have kept walking and finally made it to the kitchen. She is behind me and my girl is behind her. My girl tries to change the subject but, she is being persistent. I grab a cup and start walking through the kitchen back into the living room ignoring her. I am trying really, really hard not to tell this wench off. Although my respect for elders is weening. It is afterall, a party. I find the bartender, I need a drink. I turn around and see my girl has taken the focus off me, and I say a silent prayer. For the rest of the night I avoid her like the plague. While getting my coat she comes into the room and says " Girl don't you let ex make you sick".
Me: "What?"
She: " I just heard y'all split up.( Sure you did) That's why you are losing weight."
Me: ( staring incredulously) " Not that it's any of your business. But that is not why I've lost weight"
She: ( Actually reaching to hug me,until I put the breaks on her ass) "What's wrong with you?"
Me: "You". This broad is crazy. Then I did the best Dominique Devereaux impression that I could and walked away. She had the nerve to look hurt.

Saturday, November 11, 2006


I was saddened yesterday and shocked at the death of Gerald Levert. He and I are the same age. I don't know anyone my age that has passed and it bought my own mortality home. I cannot imagine my parents having to go through what his family is. The local radio station decided to honor him by playing his songs. I listened for awhile then had to turn it off when they played " Wind Beneath My Wings". It was just to depressing for me to listen to. I understand that we all must leave here at some point, I just don't think about it too often.

I have been blessed. I know this. I haven't had to deal with the trauma of death. I have only had to attend one funeral in my life. I can't dwell on this too long.When it's your time, it's your time and there is nothing you can do about it. So I am renewed in life and spirit. Thankful again for all that I have, for the ability to have it. I can only strive to be the best me I can be. Richard Pryor as Mud Bone said Always put a little sunshine on your face.

Today I did.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Really Gonna Miss You

Another remarkable talent. Mr. Gerald Levert sending up my prayers for his family and friends. May he rest in peace.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Who would I be

Why do parents think you don't know them as well as they know you? My parents will tell me bold face lies and think I don't know it. My father is the type to get up and move around, do something. Just for the sake of doing it. I called them yesterday and today. I asked my mom yesterday, "What's dad doing"?. "Oh, he's laying down". Okay no biggie, I knew they had an adventure at the polls so maybe he was just tired. Today he was laying down again. So I asked "What's wrong with him?" My mother quickly answered " Nothing". Yes there is, my father has serious backpain, but he won't let that stop him from doing things he shouldn't. Like climbing onto the rooof to clean the gutters. His pride will not allow him to call my brother who lives 10 minutes away to help with anything. I know if he is in the bed, there is something wrong with him. But they don't think I know that I have the most hardheaded parents on this earth. Now when I visit them, he will try to get up and move around as if nothing is bothering him. He will claim he stayed up late watching over my mother and that's why he is tired. I will allow him to believe that I believe him. I will allow him to shift the conversation from his health to my own or my mothers. Then just before I leave I will tell him to take care of himself, and remind him that I have hidden cameras in his house and restraints on order. He will laugh and promise me he will. You just gotta love them.

In other news...Federline asked for sole custody of the kids. Hmm, I wonder why he never asked for Shar's kids?

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

So Gone

I have been trying to post all day! My thoughts may be scattered from little sleep so please forgive any ramblings. Today the American voter has sent a clear message.( I'm tired of this shit) This is what I try to get young people to understand, that their votes can make a difference. Of course no one knows if there will really be a change but that's why you have to understand the issues. At least the majors ones. Do I agree with all Democrats, no. Do I agree with all Republicans , Independents? No. But I weigh which candidate is closes to my thinking and vote for them. One young lady told me she would vote when there was a black candidate running for president. Well Unless Obama decides to run which he has not made mention of, that is unlikely, but what do you do in the meantime? Complain. How can you complain about something you made no effort to change?

Breaking news***Rumsfeld resigns***- Didn't see that one coming.Oh, the shock is killing me why on earth would he do that? Now we play the waiting game for Va. I hope it doesn't turn out like FL.

Every ten minutes there is a commercial on my television for a male enhancement product. Damn fellas, what's really going on? One commercial claims to have sold over one million. Well no matter we at least won't have to wonder if a man will be thinking about his tiny, shrinking, dysfunctional penis rather than the issues, in the top House seat.( We're getting closer ladies) Congratulations Madam Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006


It's early, and I'm blogging because I'm awake. I should be sleeping now. I sometimes feel I'm surrounded by people who cannot walk and chew gum at the same time. I have people calling me for the dumbest shit you ever heard. I want to hang up, but that would be rude wouldn't it? I feel it's rude to call me knowing that I am asleep. I'm always asleep at this time.So why call me and ask if I was? Why not say, ' I'm sorry to wake you but, I'm retarded as hell and I need your help.I'm going back to bed and wake up on the other side. Today is my brothers birthday and I want to be in a good mood.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Reasons to be Cheerful

God loves me.My mothers surgery went great. I lost 7 more pounds. I completed 2 more chapters. My stitches healed nicely. My hair looks good. My family is fine. My peeps love me. I can still turn heads. I'm not pregnant. Today is my nephew's birthday. He's not going to be a father. My computer works. I had my carpets cleaned.I got a free movie. I whipped ass in Spades this weekend.I like asparagus afterall. My ex is beggin( rollin eyes). My bills are paid. I gave to charity. The check really was in the mail. I'm healthy. I finsihed another book. Shout outs to my girl Kathy...who is another inspiration for me to get it done. And this a storyline with a twist that you can appreciate. So if you happen to see it in a bookstore (Any store or online) I highly recommend it,not because I know her.Because she did her thing.
It's Monday ya'll. I'm here. God loves me.

Sunday, November 05, 2006


Tonight I watched a show called Intervention on A&E . It followed an aspiring artist and her boyfriend ( also very talented) going through his crack addiction.His parents had already put him out, so his girlfriends parents took him in.Unfortunately, I know a few substance abusers. I know that they try to hide that fact from me. I had a boyfriend once who used to come up with the most elaborate excuses for his disappearing acts and his money as well.Try as I did to understand, I couldn't and our relationship failed. I mention this program because it actually followed this crack addicted man, while he was doing the drugs.It showed all of the pain,irrational behavior, paranoia, violence and heartache he went through , because of this drug. I think this program should be shown in schools across america. Kids don't understand the effect drugs have on a life and the lives of those around you. They don't understand how much one can lose; family, job, friends, everything that matters to you. Even if they do know, they never think it can happen to them, because they are strong. I found the content of this one hour program so gripping.It didn't end with everyone smiling, birds chirping and a happy ending beyond the rainbow. It did leave you knowing that the struggle continues.

On a lighter note... Ms. Bassett looks beautiful in her ad for Oil of Olay Definity.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

If Lovin' You Is Wrong

Recently I mentioned that my soon to be 17 year old nephew was going to be a father. Not anymore. His girlfriend miscarried the child. I haven't spoken to him about it. I know that he does NOT want to hear my mouth, I haven't had the opportunity to speak with the young lady either so I don't know how she feels about it one way or the other. Being that she is older than my nephew I am inclined to believe she wanted the child. I know that I should feel something for her because her body, mind and spirit went through a life altering change. But I don't, I don't feel sorry for the lost. I tend to be liberal minded most of the time. Where my family is concerned that changes. If he were my child, I would have questioned from the beginning the motives of this 19 year old wanting to be with a 16 year old. Forget that, if he were closer I would have. I know he looks older, however the fact is he is only 16. I understand this was kudos for my nephew to say in front of his boys that he has an "older woman" with a car and an apartment. What is the upside for her though? She gets to tutor him. Given, the boy is nice looking, tall, athletic,talented, smart ( except for this stupid shit) but also still at home,16 and jobless. Which all leads me to think she is not the smartest cookie. I pray my nephew is more cautious in the future. I truly pray that this scared him so badly he never wants to have sex again. Of course, I know it will happen. But, I can still pray on it. He has so much life ahead of him. Fatherhood will come in time. I'm just so happy that it won't be right now. He is still a baby himself, in a grown mans body. The last thing on earth he needed was a child. He has so much more to accomplish, starting with a high school diploma . So by the grace of God this was not his time.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Ain't No Sunshine-DMX

Following Luke's villains post and the comment he made about me being coldhearted, I decided to make a list of movies where the character needed a killin. You know, the one's who got what they deserved and you cheered when it finally happened.

Kevin Bacon's character and his coworkers raped and tortured boys under their care...He needed a slower more painful killin'

For killing a man who could completely exonerate the main character the warden and the guard...Needed an OZ type killin

Kevin Spacey put Brad Pitts wife's head in box,that he had to open. Not to mention the other people he sadistically killed..He needed a Killin quick No help for this one.

These animals raped, beat, tortured, they even urinated on then tried to hang Sam Jackson's little girl...They needed a slow, medieval killin', bring em' back kill them again

These cops killed damn near everyone in the picture.Although they needed a killin; I do wish they went to prison.

Charles S. Dutton, Gary Busey, Rutger Hauer and others decide to hunt homeless people for sport. Ice-T gave them what they deserved Very imaginative Killin'

For killing 50's mother because he was a jealous fool and for setting him up to be murdered, Majestic( Alabeze' from Oz) ...needed a vengeful,Godfathertype killin'

Now many, many people say he had to go. He was just too rotten. I don't think he really needed a killin. But of course,I'm biased. He did deserve alot of prison time though.

The following people played the character so well you wondered if they were acting. Now maybe the character didn't need a killin, but they sure needed for someone to 'Set around and wop their asses"
Steve Harris-Diary Of A Mad Black Woman
Lawrence Fishburne-What's Love Got to Do With It

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Mr. Telephone Man

Appointment: A meeting set for a specific time or place; A fixed mutual agreement for a meeting

I decided to try digital phone technology. I mean it can't be beat for the price and I knew I would save a lot in long distance. The problem is actually getting it connected. I don't know what it is about cable services nationwide, they think you have nothing better to do with your time than wait on them. Between 8-12 or 1-5. Who has time for that? I had to reschedule twice. There won't be a strike three( As DMX would say). What they should say is:

Thank you for calling XYZ cable. We appreciate your business. We apologize for any inconvenience in advance because you will be inconvenienced. We have two scheduled appointment times. Or should we say timeframes for one of our technicians to grace your home with their presence. Please keep in mind that although we say 8-12 or 1-5, we don't really mean it.That timeframe is not guaranteed. Our techs may or may not show up depending on whether they feel like it or not. We just need you to sit put, it's only 4 hours. In other words wait and see. We do not care if you need to go to work, run errands,or any other matter because quite frankly you called us. Now with that said, how can we help you today?

If they just put it out there like that you can make your own decision from jump.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006


Happy Halloween! I didn't buy any candy this year. I haven't had any trick-o-treaters come to my door since I moved here. Maybe the previous resident never gave out any and the kids think they still live here. I miss this time with my neices and nephew. They are too old to go now. Or too cute, pick one. But me, I was still trick-o-treating in 11th grade. It was so much fun. Not just getting all that candy. Just hanging out with my friends and buggin out. One year this came out...

Not only had my friends and I learned every step, we put on the thriller show often. ( I still know the steps) Since it was halloween we figured what better time to demostrate our moves. We were on a new block that year. Just as we were getting our groove heading up this driveway to the door. These things ( people of course) we found out much later. Started coming up out of the ground. Talk about scattering. Yeah it's funny now. It wasn't then. This family decided that they would be ghouls and scare the unsuspecting when they got close to the door. To this day, I cannot tell you what happened to my candy. I can tell you, I honestly could have beaten Flo-Jo that night. Those were the days man. I wish kids still had fun like that.

Monday, October 30, 2006

If You Believe

I took the weekend to read this novel. I know I'm a Johnny come lately. I just never got around to it. Mr. Brown has brought the streets of Paris, Rome and London tothe reader vividly. He leaves no small detail out.I've always been interested in history and puzzles so this book was perfect. I found it to be a very good story...I was really into the book and found that I could not put it down. I had to know what new clue would be waiting for the main characters Langdon and Neveu. I had to know what Silas would do to them to get those clues and who was the Teacher.I love plot twist and turns and this book had many. I knew the Roman Catholic Church was upset over this book. However, I never really knew why. Honestly, I did not. I am not Catholic so I figured, it must be something within that religion, something about the Opus Dei. I vaguely remembered seeing something on television about them. I was happily turning pages. Almost midway through the book a character named Leigh Teabing was introduced. He and Langdon were colleagues and they found themselves having to explain what the Holy Grail was. I will not not go into the details, I don't want to spoil it for anyone that has not read it. I will say that I now understand why the Roman Catholic Church is upset. I can understand how any Christian based faith would be upset about this book. Although, (God is not through with me yet), I was raised in the Baptist church. I do consider myself spiritual and I believe in the God,Jesus Christ and the Bible.After reading this characters explanation of the what the Holy Grail is, I lost the zeal I had for this novel. Funny thing faith, anything that challenges our personal beliefs has to be wrong.That is exactly what I felt, that I was wrong for reading this novel. I tried to dismiss that feeling by telling myself that it's just a historically based book of fiction. I consider myself open minded,and an author myself. I know how far ones imagination can carry them. I am a strong believer that you can not argue any points you know nothing about. You may try but you will only be made to look foolish so I finished the book. My criminal justice professor told us to never ask a question you do not know the answer to, the result could be devastating. I understand that you may take from this novel anything that you want. But trust that my answer will always be... MY GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD!

Friday, October 27, 2006


You must not know 'bout me
You must not know 'bout me
I can have another you in a minute
Matter fact he'll be here in a minute

This is the hook of Beyonce's latest. I lke it. I understand where she is coming from. Of course there is always a song that we can relate to. Some artist pens a lyric that touches you in a way that makes you think the song was written for you. Of course I'm more Old School. I'm a I Will Survive type of woman. Although these words come from someone's pain, surrounded by music they make us all feel a little better sometimes. For that I am thankful. Happy Friday!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Hips Don't Lie

I bought this program Yourself Fitness a year ago. I had no excuses anymore because I finally had my own personal trainer. Just like Oprah. Her name is Maya and she will set up a regiment based on the information ( fitness goals) that you put in the program. She ask that you check your heart rate ( and recommends seeing your doctor) before beginning the program. She is soft-spoken, encouraging and inquisitive if you miss a session. She also comes quite a few recipes.
Now that I am losing I must tone so I won't be jingling Baby even when standing still. So I decided to give Maya another chance. I understand that I must change my diet;incorporate more veggies and fruit into my day. I will NEVER stop eating meat. Although Ruben is looking good.. I understand that I cannot have the whole damn sleeve of Chip Ahoys anymore. I get it.
What I am not getting is Maya. She has a few moves that I would have to enroll in a karate or contortionist class to do. Scratch that. I would have to have BEEN in one of those classes for a very long time to do these moves. So I'm watching her ( like a movie) do the steps and I'm thinking, did she forget the information that I put in? Is my Xbox on the fritz? Did I give her the correct numbers? I finally just came to the realization.... She must be crazy. I pressed on but I changed her name quite a few times. Hopefully it will get better.

Monday, October 23, 2006

You Were Loved

My weekend was full of wonderful surprises. First I found out that my computer does not have to be destroyed ( by me). I just needed to let someone who knew what they were doing set it up. ( Yay!) . The second surprise came along with the first. My brother was the one who set my puter up. He said once I got rid of the ME ( medieval Edition ) as he called it. I would be good to go. It was a shock for him to come over. Usually, if he has a problem ( and that has to be a very serious one) he will call me. We have never really been close. ( Because as a child he was a rotten kid and as Celie said" Made my life a living hell.") In our young adult lives that carried over. As time went on our relationship was a bit strained, mostly because we are both very headstrong. We had different opinions on almost every subject. During his visit though, we just chilled and Lawd knows, we haven't done that in sometime. No drama, no fighting. Just hanging out with my baby bro and it felt pretty good. I guess we have both mellowed a bit. I miss just having a conversation with him. Reminiscing about our childhood. Enjoying music together. As he was leaving he hugged me and told me he loved me, I knew that I just don't hear it too often. I told him I love you too man...I really do.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Computer Blue

I hate this computer. I was rather proud of myself for making a few upgrades to my computer myself. It was running wonderfully and being that it was I FINALLY decided to get high speed internet access, I thought it would introduce me to the world wide wow! Besides I was tired of my sister calling her the Flintstone computer. Now, that I have high speed, it's not running much faster than before. I can talk on the phone ( Yay!) but, I don't really want to when I'm on the computer. Anyway, I'm going to suck it up and take it to CompUSA, or Best Buy. Either this or throw it out the damn window...

Thursday, October 19, 2006


Since I decided to end a relationship that wasn't going were I thought it should go, I've missed him. I miss the time that we shared. Normally this is where I give in to the madness and answer his calls.Now is when he's thinking that he has given me enough time to calm myself. Truthfully, when I hear his voice I want to pick up the phone so badly. I want to tell him come on over. I want to spend time and have extraordinary make- up sex. But I'm being firm. I meant exactly what I told him, it was exactly how I felt. Like my life was being put on hold for him. I promised myself, that I would never do that to myself again. So why does it hurt so bad?. I was at a point where I so miserable, at a point where it felt like pulling teeth to have a decent conversation.Trying to be understanding to his needs and not so harsh. ( As I am told I can be). And I can be. I know that. But enough for me was enough. Now that I've had enough he wants to the person that I wanted all along. He has time to listen and he "understands' how selfish he was. I find myself believing him., but I don't know if it's really the fact that I want to believe him or because it's the truth. I can't chance it. I'm not talking about a minimal amount of time spent with this man. He had years to see me for who I am. Years to understand the makings of me. Years to see the relationship was one he didn't want to lose. Years I feel now wasted. I don't have the time anymore. I won't be singing "I just love the man" around the house. Although, sometimes I want to, but in time I will be fine.

I will complain, yet praise;
I will bewail, approve;
And all my sour-sweet days
I will lament and love.

—from "Bitter-Sweet" by George Herbert

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

One Thing

Of the things I find sexy in a man, the thing I find the most irresistable is a brother who is well spoken. When a man speaks and knows what he is talking about. Lawd. I come apart. Not to be confused with a a man who just talks alot. I'm not talking about a man who thinks he knows every damn thing and won't shut the hell up. I'm speaking of a man who has the ability to listen and then comment. I'm speaking of a man who commands the room when he speaks. Not someone who is brash or condesending. Someone that people want to hear.They are interested in what he as to say. I'm speaking of a man who has me grabbing a dictionary because I don't KNOW the word he just used. This type of man leaves me shaking. He doesn't have to be attractive to the eye, because his mind feeds my soul. ...With that said...


Whew.... I know , he's married...but Damn!!He was on Oprah today and this is yet another time that I am kicking myself for not having TiVo.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Say, Say, Say

My friends are always going on and on about how I quote movie lines. I do. I am quite the movie watcher. Life often imitates art and there are many opportunities when something a character said in one of those movies that I have seen fit the circumstance that I am faced with. I mostly watch comedy and drama. Lord knows as much as we try to be drama free it happens. Sometimes with a comedy twist, just for fun...
Because I am completely bored and it's raining outside I will list my most favorite lines. Maybe you know some of them. Maybe you don't. I will list the movie that they come from at the peeking!

1. Keep sailing Bob!
2. It was a stone,cold, groove my man.
3. Just don't say you didn't do it because it insults my intelligence
4. Well why don't you go back over there and keep watching
5. All this shabooya has got to stop!
6. Excuse me sir, I speak jive
7. Bitch you better drive!
8. Just because your name is lady Heroine doesn't mean you have to sell it
9. Does it look like I got a number?
10. Ain't nobody coming to see you Otis.
11. Miss a step today, you'll be frying fish tomorrow.
12. We're in the business of being in business. So let's go business!
13. You looking at me with all that familiarity.
14. Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?
15. We ain't friends Jake.
16. Fixin' to shave mister
17. Us breakers don't take too long to do nothing
18. Is that enough truth for ass?
19. The beatings will now begin!
20. Do I amuse you?

1. What About Bob?
2.Trading Places
3. The Godfather
4.The Bodyguard
5. Get on the Bus
6. Airplane
7. Just Cause
8. Harlem Nights
9. Five Heartbeats
10. The Temptations
11. What's Love Got To Do With It
12. Brewster's Millions
13. He Got Game
14.Rush Hour
15. A Time to Kill
16. The Color Purple
17. Let's Do it Again
18. Baby Boy
19. Bill Cosby Live
20. Goodfellas

Where My Girls At?

Harpo who dis woman?

I am the first one to give it up for black love. Any love. But people I tell you I think I am in a remake of Invasion of the Body Snatchers, My girls are one by one falling prey to "The Others". I'm not hating. Let me explain,although I am not in a serious relationship at this time,I have had them.I was still Wendy, all day, everyday. That's all I am going to be. I have one friend who was married and now she has completely disappeared from the face of the earth. I'm ready to file a missing persons report. I mean ok, this is the honeymoon phase of the relationship, and lord knows that she waited to find the man of her dreams. However, I have heard from this woman 3 times since she married.( Still haven't seen her) We have been friends for 21 years. It's been nine months. Where my people at? I have another who has been in a relationship for 2 years.Sis has turned into..into...I don't know who the hell this woman is. Some of the shit she says to me, has me wanting to research personality disorders. Multiple in particular. Another who is actually dating a man who physically abused her.Physically...laying of the hands. WTF??? He apologized and said he would never do it again. Well don't most ABUSERS) say that?Give me a break. I gotta get an exorcist for this one. Again, I'm not hating. I think I am just missing the people they used to be. Before the men. I know that you want to kick it with your man, but hello....Remember me?, The one who listened to all your bitching, waiting with you,wishing you'd exhale,hoping that man finds his way out of that cave in Tibet? I have never neglected my friendships because I had an other. I never neglected my man for my friends. Am I somehow special because I was able to do both? We'd have roundtables about women losing themselves to their men, and shake our heads, raise our fist and vow to never be one of them, so I'm just wondering what happened to those women ? Or is it that they were pretending and tricked me into thinking we had similar thought patterns. Well you know what? I'm not going to say that the men are controlling them. These women are in control of their own faculties ( I pray ) They've chosen these paths themselves. But it's just mind boggling to me. Maybe I'm being too harsh.They appear to be happy. And what do we really want for our peeps? Happiness. So I will wait for them to back away from the light.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Can We Talk

My girl said "Daddy wants me to meet him at..."Silly me, I thought she meant her father. Why do women do that? I take issue with calling my man "Daddy, Big Daddy or anything pertaining to Paternity. To me it's something a little twisted about this. I mean the very last person I want to be thinking about when I am thinking of my man is my father. Does calling me babygirl mean I have to call you daddy? To each their own of course. It's just a little weird to me.

I have become completed obsessed with the Sims 2 and I have got to get a grip before they become my only friends.

I missed the number by one today( Pick three). I'm getting closer. Since we got the lottery I have only played twice. Even though I talked crazy junk about North Carolina for not having one.

People never say anything about your weight until you lose it. Why is that? Now everyone has something to say.. I still have 15 more pounds until I reach my goal weight. Not the goal weight because I won't see 125 again. Not trying to look crackish.

Anyone else think Dr. Burke's love life could be a whole lot more interesting? Bring Dianne Carroll back...I have some ideas.

Damn, I am so very sick of the media ragging Mel. I do not think that it would have been taken to this extreme had that racial slur been something else.

Sunday, October 08, 2006

I Just Came Here To Chill

Everytime I stop blogging for a significant amount of time I'm out of wack. This is my therapy. I've been through quite a bit these past few months. Heaven knows my God watches over me. Because quite frankly...( I remember when I lost my mind). I have gone through so many emotions and haven't let any of them out.. When I write they come out and I know this. I had just been blah...

I'm baaaaaack, got my old school groove going on and I'm ready to shine. I wrote three full chapters yesterday. I just couldn't stop. And they are good. I'm not just saying this because it's my work. They are good. I had been blocked for so long and the words just came. I got my stride back. My characters and developing into people we all know and love, and some we hate. But enough about that...for now.

My sis fell and injured her ankle, She's accident prone. But thankfully okay. Mom and dad are fine. My baby ( that would be my nephew) is 16 soon to be 17 and soon to be a father. Do I want to kill him off? Yes! Lord knows we have all talked til' we are blue in the face about protecting yourself. Kids, just don't care about consequences of their actions but he will. Soon. I couldn't sugarcoat his predicament for him. I understand that we all make mistakes. But this is a big one and I want to make sure that although it was a "mistake" ( Jury still out on this one) it won't happen again and again. This is one that you need to learn from. It can't even imagine this child with a child. It's still and effort to get him to shower everyday. He hasn't even finished high school! I WANT TO PLANT MY ENTIRE FOOT IN HIS ASS! Forgive me. I know I'm ranting.

One of my favorite divas from back in the day passed last week. Tamara Dobson better known as Cleopatra Jones. May she rest in peace.

Friday, September 01, 2006

I apologize

Lately I've been hearing this a lot from various people. Normally, I would accept these words and get past it. But now I feel like quoting Ike Turner. " Yeah you sorry all right"... The following is an excerpt from For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide/When the Rainbow Is Enuf - Written By Ntozake Shange

One thing I don’t need
is any more apologies.
I have sorry greeting me at my front door.
You can keep yours.
I don’t know what to do with them.
They don’t open doors.
They don’t bring the sun back in.
They don’t make me happy.
Nobody stopped using my tears to wash cars because of a sorry.

I’m simply tired of collecting them.
“I didn’t know I was so important to you”
I can’t get to the clothes in my closet for all the sorries.
I’m gonna leave a message on my phone,
“If you called to say you’re sorry, call somebody else because I’m not taking them anymore.”

I’m going to do exactly what I want to do
And not be sorry for any of it.
Let your sorries soothe your soul
I’m gonna soothe my own.

That about sums my feelings up.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Change the World

My brothers step- daughter is 16. At a family gathering last week I asked her what colleges was she looking in to.She doesn't want to go to college. She has the means. She is a smart child. She wants to go to cosmetology school and open a shop. I looked at her mother's face when she made this statement. Her face told me the issue had been resolved and her daughter had her full support. Now lord knows, I know plenty of women who would die without their beauticians and I'm not belittling their profession at all but, I found myself thinking. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!

Perhaps because from the time I could form a thought my parents have pushed the importance of education. Perhaps because I know plenty of beauty school dropouts.Perhaps because I am thinking logically. Why not give yourself more options? As many as you can. Ok, you want to be a hairdresser that's fine but, at least take a course that will help you manage the business you hope to build. Why not just try it first and see if it's for you? If you're so hell bent on doing this, do your roommates heads. Build a client base for God's sake!

I also have a friend whose daughter believes that she is the next Judith Jamison. No college for her either. She wants to be the choreographer to the stars, she wants nothing else. Baby girl can dance, but so could every other girl at the recital.I believe in having a dream. I believe in nurturing and supporting your children. But let's be realistic here. Let's burst that bubble for just a minute and say "What If?" What do you do if this plan doesn't work out? What is your plan B? I'm thinking of so many boys and girls who dream of going to college but have to put this on a back-burner because they cannot afford to go. I'm thinking about how hard it is to get ahead WITH a college degree. Encourage your children to be the best, in whatever they decide to do, but don't allow them to settle. Don't allow them to take the easy road. Soon enough they will find that reality is not as great as the imagination. So prepare them for the unexpected, as much as you can. I still believe that nothing beats a fail but a try. Most parents know their children. Maybe they know college isn't for their children, but don't send them into the world with the rose colored glasses.Because contrary to your belief the sun doesn't rise on little miss/masters ass...

{Conspiracy Theory}
Spike Lee's When The Levees Broke was supposed to air Tuesday night. All four parts. Strangely enough, the cable station was having difficulty. With this channel. All 200+ other channels were working just fine. Cowinky-dink? I think not.

Friday, August 25, 2006

How Do I Live?

I watched an ABC news special on A.I.D.S. and the black community this evening.
The numbers were devastating as well as disheartening. Women within my age bracket are dying the fastest. The report gave many reasons for the cause, promiscuity,male/female ratio, miseducation, drug use. The thing that was most on my mind though was there was no solution. Of course there were people who all said we must do something, something because it's an epidemic people! More than 50% of all new cases of HIV were Afro-American. 68% of those being women between the ages of 25-44. This report upset me but, angered me as well. What does this say about my people? Do I just resolve that we as woman no longer care, and respect our bodies enough to say " no glove, no love?" Have we really become so desperate to keep men that we are willing to do anything and everything? There was a counselor that said she knew of sex groups, where all these people had sex with one another thinking they are "safe". Not taking into account the drug abuser, the brother on the DL or the person that just doesn't know that they are HIV or AIDS positive. My head and heart filled with a resounding, yes to answer my own questions! Some women have become so needy and self-absorbed, their esteem is so low that they are willing to do whatever to be with a man.It's disgraceful that the "half a man is better than no man" mentality is more prevalent than respect for self.

According to this report, for every 100 Afro-American women there are only 85 men. Therefore making it hard for the Afro-American man to remain monogamous.( Which is the reason for the previously mentioned sex groups) Or, at least that how my mind processed this information. Someone, has to take care those other 15. And Lord knows the percentage of incarcerated or homosexual males can't. Ladies please explain to men how you justify knowingly sleeping with a man who is married ( or otherwise involved with someone else)?. Then PLEASE help me understand...Sleeping with him and not protecting yourself knowing he sleeps with others? Ain't that much love in the world.This is not intelligent thinking, isn't self preservation a natural instinct?

Then there were the brothers who are bisexual, who really do not want to let that information out.Which goes back to my gay rights advocacy. "Let these men be gay as they wanna be. Remove the stigma, so they won't get with me!"
The odds are stacked even more by these brothers. Women, not kids who don't know any better, women are being placed in predicament where they really have no choice. Many are contracting this disease from their husbands, the men who stood with them before God. How can you fight that?Your not cheating, your not messing with someone you don't know very well. This is the man you love and who supposedly loves you. Betrayal is hard enough to deal with, but can you imagine having to deal with this as well? Sadly, for all of our knowledge, there is really nothing we can do other than resort to abstinence. We don't have a solution other than to educate , but by now everyone knows AIDS will kill you and there is no cure.As a woman I am horrified, angry, sad and embarrassed. But, most of all terrified.

Monday, August 07, 2006


Today my little sister is 29. Wow, the little kid who used to follow me around, the kid I used to carry on my hip. I've had plenty of time to think about things lately. I have so many fond memories of her, our childhood. Or should I say her childhood. Once I was searching all over the house for a shirt I loved. I repeatedly asked her if she had seen it. I knew the last time I had it was hanging on a line ( and my mind wasn't bad then) When asked she claimed she had no knowledge of any such shirt. "No, I haven't seen it,No!" I went into my Perry Mason mode and she broke down and told me she had worn my shirt, spilled paint on it. She tried to get the paint out and somehow made a hole in it. The shirt was at her friend Sparkle's house( she was trying to repair it for her because sparkle could sew her butt off)but, the guilt was killing her. " Okay I wore the shirt!!" a tearful confession, after my endless drilling..classic! She never was a very good liar. I laugh now, not so funny then, I loved that shirt. It's hard to believe the lovable kid is grown. The fact is if you live.. you get older. My sister has bloomed into an amazing, thoughtful,caring, beautiful, talented young woman. Your little, big sis is so proud. Happy Birthday baby. I love you!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

I Gotta Get Up

I am not one for the dramatics...BUT...My God. I do not know what a heart attack feels like, but what I did have had to be close. I have never ,ever felt a tightness in my chest like this before. I suffer from acid reflux so I was thinking I was just having an episode. So, I did what I always did, grab an GAS-X(Which I would gladly do a commercial for ) and go. People, when I tell you this works in no time for me, believe it. However, this time the gas in my chest was a little stubborn. So I drank a little tea. Nothing. Okay, hmm. Let me go get a cold, cold PEPSI...Because nothing on earth moves gas like a cold, cold PEPSI..Nothing. Oh yes there was something. There was the constant vomiting that came from this little stunt. And the shortness of breath, I was scared people. I mean REALLY scared. I called 911.

Turns out my gall bladder decided to check out. Stones ( that I was not even aware that I had, needed to go) along with it. So after a week in the patient estates ,I'm home. As I fumble around like Quasi, I realize how much I miss an other. As I was lying on thee floor waiting for the ambulance, with my life flashing before me, I realized that there are so many things that I haven't done. Not only want to but need to do. For me. So I may be down for a minute, but I'm coming back. Pray for me. I just Gotta Get Up!

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Come Sunday

The beginning of another week. Thank you Jehovah!!!

If I had the money I would go for the gastro.Although, I think you have to be a hundred pounds over your ideal weight ( Mine being 135 and I haven't seen that since I was 21. And won't see it again, even on crack) I'm not there but, something has got to give because I am so sick of this diet. I'm not starving myself but a lifetime of eating the wrong foods has me ready to commit crimes for a chocolate chip cookie. A (REAL) chocolate chip cookie. The other day when I was feeding my godson, even his junk food was looking tasty. I do reward myself with little treats but damn I need a meeting or something.
I need to stand before others and admit that I am a sugar fiend. I need a partner. Someone I can talk to, who knows what I am going through. Not Weight Watchers, some free stuff. I mean why isn't there a group for junk food eaters to meet and greet? I mean I know we can't be anonymous. Our asses, throw that out the window. We could have a catchy name though like ALL OF ME ...We could meet seven days a week. WW better watch out!
Seriously, another week has passed and not another pound has dropped. All I want to lose is thirty pounds. That's it. I've reached a plateau at twelve. Who reaches a plateau at 12?. I don't know what else to do. I mean I know at this point I am supposed to increase my metabolism...Somehow. My work hours prevent any more work out time. Anyone know any foods that can increase my metabolism? Please let me know.
I have alot of hair on my head. I said I would let it grow again and it is growing. Up and out but, not down. My beautician thinks I'm crazy (of course she does. It's just not growing fast enough for me. I guess I should be happy considering all that it has survived.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Because It's Love

... I want a love I can see, that's the only kind that means a thing to me. - The Temptations.

When I was a little girl. I dreamed a prince, a real prince just like in Cinderella would come and sweep me off my feet. I believed in love.

At 14, my poor little heart was broken in puppy love. I still believed in love.

At 19, although my high school sweetheart and I pledged undying devotion my 600 mile move ended that relationship. I believed in love.

At 21, I found the one I would spend my life with, so I thought. God loved him even more. I still believed in love.

At 29, my world was shattered by betrayal. I believed in love.

At 35,I let the flame die. Too much had happened. Although it was unfair to me. I still believed in love.

At 40, I've realized that I've put to much emphasis on these relationships. I've allowed them to clutter my thoughts and block my blessings. Now I've emerged, a beautiful butterfly. And I believe in love.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Happy Birthday To You!!!

My god baby is one today. Wow, that went fast. He is such a character, already. Watching him grow into this little person is something I have been blessed to do. He is amazing to me already. Happy Birthday baby!

Monday, July 10, 2006

Think you better let it go...( Jahiem's version)

One of the things that work the hell out of the two nerves I have left is- Grown/Bad Ass Kids, nothing makes me hotter. Let me just say this is child is my good friend's step child. I don't want to make any waves. For the most part I just listen to her rant. Nod my head. You can't tell people how to raise their kids. I rarely visit because little miss has too much mouth/attitude to be 11, for me. I have watched this child stomp, heard her slam doors, and lord even suck her teeth and utter the ( make me sick) out loud and within earshot.. Which sends sharp pains from my neck to the bottom of my foot. (Which I'm sure would be planted somewhere if this were my problem) I have listened to my friend argue with this little girl. And instead of the father correcting the child he says " Ya'll both need to be quiet." WTF??? I am not standing around arguing with a child. But my friend is the talking type. Me too...really...However, I'm not going to keep talking to you about the same things over and over again because you want to want to act like you can't understand English. My friend wants to find out what's wrong with the child. ( needs a beatdown) Let them express themselves.( Ok, that's cool within reason, don't get crazy). My parents listened to my side of the story. However, when the BS didn't fly they became the OG punishers ( no phone, no radio, no T.V.,no outside ( don't even look out the window at the other kids having fun) and if your friends come by that's another day. So you better tell them to stay away. That worked for me, worked for my sister. My brother however,this punishment meant nothing, He needed the beatdown. Some kids just do. Back to my point, I called my friend yesterday, and this little girl picked up the phone and told me I needed to call back because she was on the phone, and hung up. She didn't know what the hell I was calling for.( Not that it was her business, but damn I could have been stranded somewhere.) Normally Wanda (ALTER-EGO: Crazy, Deraaaanged , damn fool) takes over in these situations. This time she let me call my friend on her cell, and inform her that if this weren't taken care of I would not be calling her house again. I was griping my cell so hard I damn near broke my flip. Had I said what I was thinking, there was going to be problems.BIG problems, friendship losing , problems. You see when I'm at the point where I'm about to read you,I don 't take any time out to be nice about it. Nor do I take time to realize that you are only 11 . Especially since you are trying to be grown as I am. I just cannot tolerate her disrespect any longer. I was not raised like this. If, I would have even thought about doing half the crap this kid gets away with. This blog would be non-existant. These punk-ass parents are making me sick.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Let the Music Play- repost

Being the music lover that I am I borrowed this idea from Mahogany- !
4. I'll write A Song For You-Earth, Wind and Fire
Phillip, Phillip, Phillip. I watched this man sing this song in concert. He hit a note even higher than the recorded version and I thought to myself. I love this man. I love all EWF but this song really does something to me.

5. Guilty Barbra Streisand and Barry Gibb
I love this song. Always have. " It ought be illegal..Make it a crime to be lonely or sad"

6.AS- Stevie Wonder
Stevie is partying on this song. Working his magic the only way he can. Mary and George Michael took at crack at it too. They did their thing. But hey...It's Stevie. It took awhile but I finally realized that the name of the song was not Always.

7.Together Again- Janet Jackson
This is such an uplifting , happy song. Although I heard it was dedicated to some of her friends that have passed on. I watched Janet perform this song on her HBO special I think she jumped the entire time. What I wouldn't give for stamina like that.

8. In A Sentimental Mood- Duke Ellington/John Coltrane
Any question on this one? Slow groove not one word ( jazz people) and you are making them up in your own mind. Takes me there every time.

9.SuperStar( Till You Come Back To Me)- Luther Vandross
I thank God that was I able to see with my own eyes the talent this man posessed.There are so many songs, I love by Luther. This song however with it's piano and flutes, the way he winds you down in the intro before he begins to tell his story... awesome. " Don't you remember you told me you love me baaby!" Lawd!!!

10. Daydreaming- Aretha Franklin
The Queen rocked this one for me. Back up saaaanging her into the verse. She comes in cool " He's the kind of guy..." Damn, effortless. Natural. Whew!!!

11. You Love Me- Jill Scott ( Hidden Beach track)
I watched this sister sing this song on Oprah, she bought tears to my eyes. Talent Raw. Now back to the song. If you have not heard this cut...get out from under that rock...and run to get it.

12. You Remind Me- Mary J
Another artist that I truly love. If I had to choose just one it would be this one. She came on strong..blazing. Had me bopping my head at home, work, stoplights. I didn't care. Still don't.

13. You Are My Friend- Patti LaBelle
This song empowers me. When I am down and thinking . Damn Life sucks. I put on this song. " The thought of you helps me carry on, when I feel all hope is gone" Everyone should have someone in there life that this sentiment rings true for. Ms Patti, yeah I've got to have this one. Amazing.

14. 1,4,3- Musiq
Talk about a brotha who can saaaaaaaang. It was a toss up between this one and love. This song I like because he was creative with it. "..listen to his notes. I love it. There aren't many more ways in words that I can say...broke it down to 143"

It's another sad song I know, but I feel his pain/comfort. His is singing to his mom. nice melody. smooth.

16. Waiting- Deniece Williams
Yeah, I went back. But Niecy put her thing down here. I think she may have been going through some things on this Album. Yes, I said Album. But notes, crazy notes, singing for real.

17. Neither one of Us Gladys Knight and the Pips
Strong, from the gut. Listen to the piano playing before she says" It's sad to think.. Telling this man how much loves him, but knows she's gotta go. " We just won't let it die" Have you been there?"Farewell my love,goodbye" Farewell is a mighty long time...she is done. Ok? Gladys is twisting the hell out of the scales, in this song. Keep up!The Pips in the background steady,complimentary and precise.

18. Candy- Cameo
Dom,dom, dom...< href="">


I was having a bad day and I'm sure my face said so. I had just decided to upgrade my computer and after listening to one of my crazy ass friends and believing her when she told me " Girl you can do it yourself" and damn near blowing myself and my computer to smithereens ( All is well). I discovered I needed a new graphics card to go along with my new hardware' money... So, I went to Best Buy to search for one, that's all I wanted. Really...What he said was 'smile' I didn't really hear him the first time. So he said it again and I glared at him. " Who pissed you off?" Still in a bad mood..I said "Why?" So he walked off. Just walked away. I guess he said this MAD BLACK WOMAN is not worth the trouble. I felt bad because he was only trying to be friendly, but I had another task at hand. So, it was finally my turn to be waited on and I explained to the clerk what I was in need of. Mr. Happy returned and interrupted the clerk because he was not giving me the correct information. He informed me that he rebuilds computers and the graphics card Mr. Best Buy was recommending would not work in my old ass computer. I thanked him.

He then gave his name and his business card. I happily accepted because a working computer was what I needed and QUICK!!!Each time I speak to this brother, he is in a better mood than when I spoke to him last. Tonight the conversation moved from computers to took long enough.... Stay tuned...

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Baby I'm A Star

You ever get one of those feelings when you think your shit don't stink? Yeah, I've been on that kick. Since my birthday I've been in a mood. I had a few people trip on me these past few weeks. I had to take a few minutes and regroup. I thought maybe just for a moment, maybe I was reading too much into the whole nonsense. I mean The things I think are important, are not as important to others. >EVERYBODY does not love Wendy. Go figure. At least not like I love Wendy. And I was on the "How Dare You" trip. It took God sending me a message from an old friend to understand that. She just called me out of the blue, I haven't spoken to her in years. But she was my rock, and I had forgotten about her. She had no cross words for me, as she listened to my rant. And as I rambled on, I realized that I was guilty of the very thing I was speaking of with her. Well...that knocked me down a peg.I know I I get a little Wenderful on folks and expect the world to move when I say move. Sometimes I need a little humbling to bring me back to earth. So, it's not all about me I get it. I will say in my defense... I was clouded by the fact that this all started 'round my birthday. So here I am with a renewed spirit and, a clearer understanding of the different levels of friendship. There are new paths that I must choose. I pray that I learn to accept the things I cannot change.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

It Just Gets Better With Time...

I'm 40 , Four score... I don't feel any particular way. I'm still the same person I was yesterday. It's just saying it out loud. I remember when my parents were 40. How old I thought they were, they weren't,I know that now. I'm 40 yes, but I am much stronger than I was when I turned thirty. I know so much more than I did then. I'm still no ones wife. I may never be again. I'm still no ones mother,yet. But I'm so much more. When I dropped to my knees,last night I thanked God for all of the blessings he has given me. I thanked him for surrounding me with love. I thanked him for my families health, for good friends. For allowing me to be here this long. Today I'm having a "surprise" birthday party. I have to get off here and practice my faces.I'm in a good place. BLESSED!!! I'm 40, I'm fine and I'm fabulous!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006


I noticed while looking for a Christmas card last year that there were not many that said " For My Parents". There were many to Mom/Dad/ from daughter/son etc. But not many for parents. I said to the woman who was standing next to me. " They don't make cards for parents anymore?" She looked at me kind of funny. I guess because of the abundance of cards that were before us to Mother or Father.So I explained that was looking for a card to give to them together. She said, " Oh, that's old School." I thought to myself God please bring back old school!

My mother met my father when she was 12 years old. My father was 14. On June 14, 1958 they were married. Yes, you can do the math. 48 years. My parents, took an oath before God to love and respect each other until death do them part. I'm sure there were times when they each wanted to walk away. I'm sure they both met, worked with and were hit on by other people that they were attracted too. But, their vows meant more to them than any of the foolishness in the street. The family bond that they made together took precedence over any and all. I know there were some very hard times, but for most of my life,our home was filled with love, respect and happiness. ( Except during my teenage years, when I thought they were put on earth for the sole purpose of making my life miserable) I know that I was/am blessed. When I'm so sick of the 'game' that I seriously consider getting a few cats and calling it a day;I think of them and I know real, true, unconditional love exist. Solid as rock. I'm hopeful again...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MOM AND DAD!!!... I'm so proud to call you my PARENTS.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

All in Love is Fair

Although I am trying to shake this feeling.The fact is I am having these feelings over a little girl.I know it's wrong. I'm beating myself up over it. I'm never jealous of anyone. But I loved this little girls daddy with every part of my being, the sick twisted love that has you happily electric sliding to the washer to wash his dirty drawz. I came away from the relationship thinking this man is incapable of loving. I was convinced that he destined to be a "Good Doggie" until the end of his days. A Good Doggie will: Lie to you because he loves you. Or at least he thinks he does, years of conditoning has restricted his views of how to properly show it. His deceit, is a direct result of his thinking pattern 'What she doesn't know won't hurt her' . He never considers the consequences of his actions. Only the satisfaction he will get from them. Not ever taking into the equation karma, righteousness, or his own stupidity.Causing this to come to a head at some time. IE... BABY BOY. Therefore, women end up with the revelation that the man you adored; is a Good Doggie. I didn't want a Good Doggie, they never seem to understand the Actions/Reactions part. And you become the "crazy bitch"... They never understand that although this behavior means nothing to them. It means everything to you. So we parted ways, and after getting over feelings of anger, betrayal, regret and homicide. Time and forgiveness has set in and we are once again friends. Now, when I speak to him and he talks about his child, I see a different part of him. I see that he is capable of loving. That he can put someone else's feelings and needs before his own.So, my interpretation is that although he does have the ability he chose not to display it with me.I get it. It's choking the shit out of my ego, but I get it. I know it's a parent/child love. I understand in my mind that the two cannot be compared. But forgive my being human and my heart is saying otherwise.I didn't think of our break up as a disrespect to me, but I attributed it to his being a Good Doggie, he was incapable of this emotion. I was only desiring to be equallyloved and a brother was struggling. How is it possible that you can be Jekel one level, Hyde on the next? How can you be dirty, sneaky, lying and conniving- EVIL and so nurturing,honest,dependable, mature, pure- GOODtoo? Let's talk about the Faces of Adam-Hey, that's pretty good. I may have to keep that for a title. And why did I get to see both sides? Why couldn't you just let me continue to think of you as I had? That was easier for me. Now when I talk to him and he is going on and on about this thing or that, that he shared with his child and I see the glow in his face. I hear the concern in his voice I want to bust him in the face . I'm jealous of his love for her. I know it's sick, low ,terrible. I know it's the type of shit that"Flowers in the Attic" is made of. But, I'm just being honest.In all our years, he never even came close to this level. For me, that is not fair.