Scream

Ok I have lost some weight. Cool right. Now I am dealing with sagging skin. I feel like a marshmallow. A brown, squishy, marshmallow.Now I have to  do exercises to tighten but,  not get too bulky. So I won't look like a large Michelon tire baby.  At least when I was bigger I was firm. I didn't have all this jingling baby going on. I'M DOING THE WORK MAN!!!, but it is so hard. I knew going in that the process would be long and tough and some days I feel like. ...Forget it. I have to be honest. I feel like running out and buying a carton of butter pecan and eating the whole thing. Dairy Queen has been blowing my tv screen up! Them and every restaurant has a meal special with some delicious looking entree dancing across my screen.I rationalize it in my mind at the time that everyone is not supposed to be thin. Then I come back to myself , because I am not trying to be thin. I am trying to be healthy. I am trying dance,  and walk a flight of stairs without feeling winded. I want to be comfortable in my clothes, not pulling and snatching. Whatever size that is.

With weight loss the fat that was on your body also begins to shift. So when I put my clothes on, I'm like what the hell? I'm not hating on anyone, you should feel comfortable in the skin you are in. No matter the size, but right  is right and wrong is just... wrong.  I am also losing the weight unevenly and one of these things is not like the other!!! Who the hell does this!!! My mother used to tell me .." Only you Wendy" How true these words seem. I talk to others who are on a weight lost journey and I have yet to hear anyone else complain of this. My feet lost weight!!! Yeah, that is EXACTLY where I needed to lose.Maybe I will resort to wearing coverups. Until this body decides to compromise with me.

I also have had  the most tiring week, trying to explain my position on the Trayvon Martin case and verdict to those who are unwilling or unable to understand my frustration. I'm at the point now where I realize that I am beating a dead horse and I am no longer trying to have a logical conversation with these people. It's hard to believe that some people that I have known  for most of my life are so bigoted and narrow-minded. I had some inkling that they were during the Obama campaign. This case has definitely drawn the line on their position and sadly, I understand even more just how divided this country is.

I've ranted enough...Be blessed peeps!!!

A Long Walk

I walked a mile yesterday. I haven't walked since Thanksgiving. Talk about struggling, you would think I walked 20. With the weather change I'm finding it harder to get out there, although there is a track across the street from my home. I hate cold weather. The whole point of moving south was to get away from it. It seems it has followed me here. We don't get Long Island cold, but it gets cold.



As I was walking and thinking, I noticed a young woman there with her child. She had strapped the child into a stroller and was walking circles literally, around me. I thought, what dedication. At that point I felt ashamed of myself for not having this drive. I get so lazy sometimes. I find myself thinking of excuses to not exercise. I don't care what anyone says, I will never love to work out. This always happens when I've lost, I start slacking. Talking myself into thinking I'm not that fat. All of the people I started walking with have fallen off months ago. Of course they only needed to lose 10-20 pounds in the first place. But this young woman has inspired me. The more I watched this woman speed walk with her child the more I knew I had to keep this regiment up. So I am re-dedicating myself to me!

In other news ....Is anyone using the new Blogger Beta? Is it really any better than the old version.. Every time I log in it's thrown into my face.Let me know if you are using this newer version.

I've added my favorite Christmas song to this blog. Hearing this one always puts me in a good holiday, spirit-filled mood. Donny Hathaway's This Christmas...Enjoy!

Did anyone catch Mary J on the Billboard awards yesterday? She did her thing!

Games People Play

Every since the release of the latest gaming system by Nintendo the Wii I have seen people on the news that have lost their minds. I know that these games can be intense but damn, swinging on people. Now there was a story here where the people stood in line for hours waiting for Circuit City to open and when it finally did they were already sold out. Now that warrants someone getting a cussin'. It was cold. I'm sure somebody knew that system wasn't there. Let a sis know. Not that I am standing in line for any game.

I figure there must be something really special about a game that would make you do this. I have an Xbox. Confiscated by me because my nephew wanted to act a foolio in school after he got it.He never bought the grade up. So I got an Xbox and I played a few of the games it's all right. Too many buttons going on for me. ( I had the Commodore 64 /Atari games) I'm a Sims person. I happily play my little people and live vicariously for the moment, through them. Now there are times when I am playing for hours and I have to get up and face reality. I understand these people are hooked. I have a brother who doesn't even want to take a break to eat.

But come on, it's a game people! Shooting and robbing folks. What is really going on? Then my brother called and told me they are selling for more than quadruple the price on Ebay. Oh,I get it. It's an investment, with a quick turn around on profit. Still doesn't justify all the madness. But now I can understand why some choose to stand in line for it 5 hours before the store even opened.

Smiling Faces

You ever find yourself hanging out with someone and wish you weren't. I went to a reunion of sorts with old co-workers. We were a great group of people when I worked at this company and I still keep in contact with most of them. But, there is always one. I never called her, never returned any of her calls and avoided her at work. Seems like she would get the message. She doesn't. She is an older woman, you know the one at work who takes on the motherly role. Thinks she has knowledge on every subject and tries to tell you what's up, from her view. I have a mother and the advice that she did give to others was wack. So I just always thought she was aggravating as hell. My grandmother used to call her type uncouth. She will ask the most personal questions, in front of everyone. She will invite herself into conversations that she is not involved in. She will tell all your business.
I take awhile to cozy up to a person. I like to watch and see if you are the type of person I want to be bothered with. If I get a bad vibe from you in the beginning, it usually turns out that was for a reason. That was the vibe I always got from her.
So, I'm making my rounds, you know working the room and I see her. I try to make a beeline to the kitchen to avoid her ass and I'm cut off. I can't turn around and go back because my girl is behind me. Aw, Damn. So I'm stuck. This is how the convo went.
She: " Hey girl, check you out. You've lost weight huh?"
Me: (Dry as hell) " Yeah a little something."
She: " Yeah,you look good. I just saw him, in the grocery store the other day"
Me: ( Still moving) "Really?"
She: "Yeah, he's looking good too. He still working for? Blah, blah blah.
Me: How does she know who he works for? I never told her. " Yes."
She: " Y'all been together for a minute. When y'all getting married?"
Me: I swear the whole room stopped. Like that old E.F. Hutton commercial. Most of the people in this room know he and I have split.At least three of them know this fool. And if she knows where he works . She knows that. I know she does.Now,I am just done. " Why?"

By, this time I have kept walking and finally made it to the kitchen. She is behind me and my girl is behind her. My girl tries to change the subject but, she is being persistent. I grab a cup and start walking through the kitchen back into the living room ignoring her. I am trying really, really hard not to tell this wench off. Although my respect for elders is weening. It is afterall, a party. I find the bartender, I need a drink. I turn around and see my girl has taken the focus off me, and I say a silent prayer. For the rest of the night I avoid her like the plague. While getting my coat she comes into the room and says " Girl don't you let ex make you sick".
Me: "What?"
She: " I just heard y'all split up.( Sure you did) That's why you are losing weight."
Me: ( staring incredulously) " Not that it's any of your business. But that is not why I've lost weight"
She: ( Actually reaching to hug me,until I put the breaks on her ass) "What's wrong with you?"
Me: "You". This broad is crazy. Then I did the best Dominique Devereaux impression that I could and walked away. She had the nerve to look hurt.

If You Believe

I took the weekend to read this novel. I know I'm a Johnny come lately. I just never got around to it. Mr. Brown has brought the streets of Paris, Rome and London tothe reader vividly. He leaves no small detail out.I've always been interested in history and puzzles so this book was perfect. I found it to be a very good story...I was really into the book and found that I could not put it down. I had to know what new clue would be waiting for the main characters Langdon and Neveu. I had to know what Silas would do to them to get those clues and who was the Teacher.I love plot twist and turns and this book had many. I knew the Roman Catholic Church was upset over this book. However, I never really knew why. Honestly, I did not. I am not Catholic so I figured, it must be something within that religion, something about the Opus Dei. I vaguely remembered seeing something on television about them. I was happily turning pages. Almost midway through the book a character named Leigh Teabing was introduced. He and Langdon were colleagues and they found themselves having to explain what the Holy Grail was. I will not not go into the details, I don't want to spoil it for anyone that has not read it. I will say that I now understand why the Roman Catholic Church is upset. I can understand how any Christian based faith would be upset about this book. Although, (God is not through with me yet), I was raised in the Baptist church. I do consider myself spiritual and I believe in the God,Jesus Christ and the Bible.After reading this characters explanation of the what the Holy Grail is, I lost the zeal I had for this novel. Funny thing faith, anything that challenges our personal beliefs has to be wrong.That is exactly what I felt, that I was wrong for reading this novel. I tried to dismiss that feeling by telling myself that it's just a historically based book of fiction. I consider myself open minded,and an author myself. I know how far ones imagination can carry them. I am a strong believer that you can not argue any points you know nothing about. You may try but you will only be made to look foolish so I finished the book. My criminal justice professor told us to never ask a question you do not know the answer to, the result could be devastating. I understand that you may take from this novel anything that you want. But trust that my answer will always be... MY GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD!

Hips Don't Lie

I bought this program Yourself Fitness a year ago. I had no excuses anymore because I finally had my own personal trainer. Just like Oprah. Her name is Maya and she will set up a regiment based on the information ( fitness goals) that you put in the program. She ask that you check your heart rate ( and recommends seeing your doctor) before beginning the program. She is soft-spoken, encouraging and inquisitive if you miss a session. She also comes quite a few recipes.
Now that I am losing I must tone so I won't be jingling Baby even when standing still. So I decided to give Maya another chance. I understand that I must change my diet;incorporate more veggies and fruit into my day. I will NEVER stop eating meat. Although Ruben is looking good.. I understand that I cannot have the whole damn sleeve of Chip Ahoys anymore. I get it.
What I am not getting is Maya. She has a few moves that I would have to enroll in a karate or contortionist class to do. Scratch that. I would have to have BEEN in one of those classes for a very long time to do these moves. So I'm watching her ( like a movie) do the steps and I'm thinking, did she forget the information that I put in? Is my Xbox on the fritz? Did I give her the correct numbers? I finally just came to the realization.... She must be crazy. I pressed on but I changed her name quite a few times. Hopefully it will get better.

I need to walk more, I knew that already but, this weekend really let me know how much. While walking down South St. in Philly, looking for a spoken word Cafe named Tootie's my back suddenly decided to disconnect from my body. I don't know when it decided to, but it screamed defiantly, " I'M OUT! I'M NOT TAKING ANOTHER STEP!" I was bent over in front of a store praying for a seat, ANYWHERE. I wanted to cry. It was so embarrassing. Then, Sabastian takes my arm and tries to help me along, like some old woman. I wished the earth could open up. My brother,sister and nephew ( family yanno?) , no help at all. They had... jokes, but that's okay. At that point, I did not care. I did not laugh. I had walked 15 blocks and I couldn't take another step if I wanted to. The furthest I walk, is to my car. My back is hurting thinking about it. I have learned my lesson. I will start walking again. Besides, THE WALK , the trip was a good one. She is happy so am I. I didn't cry... My brother ( Mario Andretti) , got us home in record time. He has the need for speed. I didn't complain... much. This is a good time for us...blessings all around.