Tuesday, June 12, 2012

I'm Walking

I have been hurt by people. We all have. People that I thought were friends who proved to me time and time again that they were not and I accepted them back into my fold. I made excuses for their behavior, I gave them the benefit of the doubt. For most of my life I had a need to be accepted because I was always the friendly one. Always the one who would make the peace when others in my circle fell out. Always the one to crack a joke or two to make eveyone smile. So I just knew people would love me , why wouldn't they? As I grew older the need to be accepted by people started to wear thin. I called myself surrounding myself with people who loved me as much as I loved them. People I chose to call FRIENDS. Now, I don't use that word lightly. You have to earn that. So when people that I chose to call friend broke the code ( Friendship)I'm done. I wish you no harm, or ill -will . I am just done. I no longer call you ,text message, hang out with you, facebook or twitter you. Once I have expressed to you how hurt I am by your actions that's it, the end of our communication forever, as far as I am concerned. Some may call that harsh but, I have my own heart and feelings to protect. I no longer give people the opportunity to harm either again. So being that I have said all this , two, nearly three years ago I stopped talking to two of my so-called friends and since then they have been trying to get back in my life. I know why, not bragging but , I am a EXCELLENT friend and they realize the lost. That and I have always been so damn forgiving. But I am standing my ground this time because serious ( I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS SHIT TO ME) Lines were crossed. I have tried ignoring them, I don't return calls, text messages or anything else. I lie, one had a sister who passed and she shared and I offered my condolences to her and her family but nothing else since. So why do they press on? Guilt, I think because they had something good and they let it go. And I'm not going to lie. I do miss them and I cherish the good times we had and I wish things weren't they way they are. But they are and it is what it is...I'm walking...