Sunday, October 21, 2007

Just The Two Of Us


I'm going to talk about breast so men,turn your head if you don't want to read about my woes. I've had these breast of mine for some thirty years now. I was an early bloomer, real early. I disliked my breast at first because I wanted to be like the other little girls and wear tiny little "T" straps. I couldn't. The problem was in 5th grade there were only two other girls who had developed as much as I had and we all earned the nickname "boomboom". Boys were dumb to us then, and their fascination with my breast caused me to fight them. By the time I was fifteen, I thought I would like them but large breast and basketball was causing me some problems. Other than tapping them down, I had no choices.Lord knows I should have invented the sports bra.At least been in on the prototype.
When I had finally grew into my breast. I learned to love them. But, I still don't know when they started to take on a life of their own. So to speak. I mean I've always had to deal with men staring at them,Talking to them instead of me. Fighting with them for attention is probably why I don't wear anything low cut, nor do I show much cleavage. They just ARE, and always have been.

I know I shouldn't complain beacuse women pay ( huge sums) to get what I have been blessed with but, sometimes I wonder why. Like today for instance. Now keep in mind I don't buy any cheap bras. Those just don't work for large breasted women. But this beautiful bra I had on today,ladies you know the cute sets we buy, it was sooo pretty. But this one must have been irregular. I have a mind to take it back because something is definitely wrong. I know my size and have for some time. I've been measured for goodness sakes! When I put it felt a little snug but I figured that was because it was new. By the time I got where I was going The TWO were trying to peak out from the bottom of the cup. No biggie I figured I would adjust the strap. Lawd,what did I do that for? You ever see women with that third breast thingy going on? Well I had a fourth. Of course I was too cute, to have four breast today so, I readjusted the strap. When I did that the TWO decided to really act a fool. They didn't want to stay even or inside. So there I was Four- breasted, lopsided lady. You can't get your flirt on looking like Quasimoto (hump reversed). So I decided to call it a day. The TWO are on punishment for showing out in public and I have tossed yet another beautiful bra in the don't even think about it pile.

4 comments:

lyre said...

Speaking from the itty bitty club, I rarely ever even wear a bra. Of course they've grown a bit since 3 babies breast fed and 33 years ago, so guess what? Today you caught me with the one I own on! HA! Been thinking of going panty and bra shopping though.

Believer said...

You need to tame those breasts!

Blu Jewel said...

i've had a love/hate relationship with my breasts, but now I'm learning to love them. i feel where you're coming from though cause i've had issues with those bra/panty sets, but in the opposite effect. the bra fit and the panties were too small.

YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

I still remember when these bad boys came on the scene. I don't remember if it were 4th or 5th grade. We were playing soccer and I was the goalkeeper. I discovered them during the penalty shot...straight to my chest. Since I had a male teacher, he didn't know what was going on when I hit the floor and holding my buds. I'm in the school nurse's office like "CALL MY MOMMA! OH GOD IT HURTS!"

Now why was the school nurse laughing when she called my mother? Mom makes it there to pick me up about an hour later, with a big grin on her face. My mom was one of the women who could get away with wearing a tank top, so why, a couple of years later, I got the nickname of "Jugs" from HER, of all people, was beyond me.

It's a blessing AND a curse sometimes. When I run, I have to wear a regular bra and a sports bra that's a size too small just to keep from slowing down my pace or busting myself in the face.

Just about every blouse or shirt I own is accompanied by a camisole, so no one sees my cleavage. *looking all frustrated*, and don't you hate how much you have to pay for the cute yet durable joints?