Thursday, April 18, 2013

Beautifully Human

As far as "reality" shows go I find TI and Tiny's show to be very positive. There was however one problem child. Shicanna- Tinys hairstylist, she seemed to have no ability to behave professionally, so Tiny suggested they go to an etiquette class. The one standout, powerful point for me was when she was addressing the B word and said her mother had been calling her a bitch since she was four so it didn't phase her.

It didn't phase her. Wow, wow.Wow!!!! You guys know I have very SERIOUS problems with the B word. I don't like it. I don't appreciate it and I don't care what kind of way you try to twist it into a term of endearment, It's a derogatory word, that I don't tolerate. When that word comes out of your mouth to me, I am your enemy. That's how I feel. This woman said that she had been called such since she was 4. Can you imagine how a child feels being called this? A baby. What the hell is wrong in your sick mind that you would look at a child that you carried  in your womb and think that is okay? The saddest part for me is that even at her age she didn't realize that it did phase her. IT DID PHASE HER!!!!. She carried the stigma of Bitch practically her whole life. At some point she had to know that the definition of the word is a female dog, My mother is calling me a dog, my mother thinks I am no better than a dog. How am I to think any more of myself? How am I  to learn to behave in a professional setting and use tact and decorum when I have been led to believe that I am nothing more than a BITCH?How do you process this as a child? I can't process it as an adult.

I immediately understood why she behaved the way she did. I knew this was all she knew and although her behavior was/is obnoxious and over the top, I realized that her bad behavior was a defense mechanism that she had built over the years, she's had to be on defense since she was 4. Her mother was a women in need of counsel and she had probably only done to her child what was done to her. I have heard people call their kids little bastards and muthas and thank GOD for the household that I grew up in. Don't get me wrong, we got cursed out, but not belittled, it wasn't personalized. It was the collective, foot in your asses and smacking the hell out of you type thing. People don't realize they are in charge of molding lives. They were given this blessing from God and they continue to drop the ball.  I pray for this young woman. I pray that she realizes that she can change the pattern, she doesn't have to keep this mentality. She is a beautiful woman, plenty of sass. She just doesn't know and when you don't know how can you do better?  Perhaps, she will see the episode and begin to understand that she needs help as well. I couldn't get into the rest of the episode because those words resonated within my soul. I couldn't imagine my mother calling me that. Even at her angriest.

We have to do better. We have to get this together. We are supposed to be above the animals, the beast  the fowl in the air  and the snake that slithers on its belly. We are supposed to be human. Beautifully....

1 comment:

Black Yang said...

Wendy, first I would love to say I enjoy your blog, and all of it's subject matter. I musty agree with you that the word "Bitch" is a very harsh, and hurtful. In the streets where I am from the "Bitch" is a common word used to describe a character, or personality of a woman or sometimes describing a man that was not a manly man. But on the other hand Females, Mothers, a like also reference other women as Bitches, but it hurts to hear. I understand your pain. I would like to add that I am a writer and sometimes when I am telling a story I use very colorful words to describe my character, and I may use the "B" word. If you read any of my material, you will see it. I believe in the power of free speech even sometimes if its offensive. I respect your views, but like me and other writers will understand, and some may not

I really would love to read more on this topic, and thank you for sharing....