My brothers step- daughter is 16. At a family gathering last week I asked her what colleges was she looking in to.She doesn't want to go to college. She has the means. She is a smart child. She wants to go to cosmetology school and open a shop. I looked at her mother's face when she made this statement. Her face told me the issue had been resolved and her daughter had her full support. Now lord knows, I know plenty of women who would die without their beauticians and I'm not belittling their profession at all but, I found myself thinking. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!
Perhaps because from the time I could form a thought my parents have pushed the importance of education. Perhaps because I know plenty of beauty school dropouts.Perhaps because I am thinking logically. Why not give yourself more options? As many as you can. Ok, you want to be a hairdresser that's fine but, at least take a course that will help you manage the business you hope to build. Why not just try it first and see if it's for you? If you're so hell bent on doing this, do your roommates heads. Build a client base for God's sake!
I also have a friend whose daughter believes that she is the next Judith Jamison. No college for her either. She wants to be the choreographer to the stars, she wants nothing else. Baby girl can dance, but so could every other girl at the recital.I believe in having a dream. I believe in nurturing and supporting your children. But let's be realistic here. Let's burst that bubble for just a minute and say "What If?" What do you do if this plan doesn't work out? What is your plan B? I'm thinking of so many boys and girls who dream of going to college but have to put this on a back-burner because they cannot afford to go. I'm thinking about how hard it is to get ahead WITH a college degree. Encourage your children to be the best, in whatever they decide to do, but don't allow them to settle. Don't allow them to take the easy road. Soon enough they will find that reality is not as great as the imagination. So prepare them for the unexpected, as much as you can. I still believe that nothing beats a fail but a try. Most parents know their children. Maybe they know college isn't for their children, but don't send them into the world with the rose colored glasses.Because contrary to your belief the sun doesn't rise on little miss/masters ass...
{Conspiracy Theory}
Spike Lee's When The Levees Broke was supposed to air Tuesday night. All four parts. Strangely enough, the cable station was having difficulty. With this channel. All 200+ other channels were working just fine. Cowinky-dink? I think not.
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Friday, August 25, 2006
How Do I Live?
I watched an ABC news special on A.I.D.S. and the black community this evening.
The numbers were devastating as well as disheartening. Women within my age bracket are dying the fastest. The report gave many reasons for the cause, promiscuity,male/female ratio, miseducation, drug use. The thing that was most on my mind though was there was no solution. Of course there were people who all said we must do something, something because it's an epidemic people! More than 50% of all new cases of HIV were Afro-American. 68% of those being women between the ages of 25-44. This report upset me but, angered me as well. What does this say about my people? Do I just resolve that we as woman no longer care, and respect our bodies enough to say " no glove, no love?" Have we really become so desperate to keep men that we are willing to do anything and everything? There was a counselor that said she knew of sex groups, where all these people had sex with one another thinking they are "safe". Not taking into account the drug abuser, the brother on the DL or the person that just doesn't know that they are HIV or AIDS positive. My head and heart filled with a resounding, yes to answer my own questions! Some women have become so needy and self-absorbed, their esteem is so low that they are willing to do whatever to be with a man.It's disgraceful that the "half a man is better than no man" mentality is more prevalent than respect for self.
According to this report, for every 100 Afro-American women there are only 85 men. Therefore making it hard for the Afro-American man to remain monogamous.( Which is the reason for the previously mentioned sex groups) Or, at least that how my mind processed this information. Someone, has to take care those other 15. And Lord knows the percentage of incarcerated or homosexual males can't. Ladies please explain to men how you justify knowingly sleeping with a man who is married ( or otherwise involved with someone else)?. Then PLEASE help me understand...Sleeping with him and not protecting yourself knowing he sleeps with others? Ain't that much love in the world.This is not intelligent thinking, isn't self preservation a natural instinct?
Then there were the brothers who are bisexual, who really do not want to let that information out.Which goes back to my gay rights advocacy. "Let these men be gay as they wanna be. Remove the stigma, so they won't get with me!"
The odds are stacked even more by these brothers. Women, not kids who don't know any better, women are being placed in predicament where they really have no choice. Many are contracting this disease from their husbands, the men who stood with them before God. How can you fight that?Your not cheating, your not messing with someone you don't know very well. This is the man you love and who supposedly loves you. Betrayal is hard enough to deal with, but can you imagine having to deal with this as well? Sadly, for all of our knowledge, there is really nothing we can do other than resort to abstinence. We don't have a solution other than to educate , but by now everyone knows AIDS will kill you and there is no cure.As a woman I am horrified, angry, sad and embarrassed. But, most of all terrified.
The numbers were devastating as well as disheartening. Women within my age bracket are dying the fastest. The report gave many reasons for the cause, promiscuity,male/female ratio, miseducation, drug use. The thing that was most on my mind though was there was no solution. Of course there were people who all said we must do something, something because it's an epidemic people! More than 50% of all new cases of HIV were Afro-American. 68% of those being women between the ages of 25-44. This report upset me but, angered me as well. What does this say about my people? Do I just resolve that we as woman no longer care, and respect our bodies enough to say " no glove, no love?" Have we really become so desperate to keep men that we are willing to do anything and everything? There was a counselor that said she knew of sex groups, where all these people had sex with one another thinking they are "safe". Not taking into account the drug abuser, the brother on the DL or the person that just doesn't know that they are HIV or AIDS positive. My head and heart filled with a resounding, yes to answer my own questions! Some women have become so needy and self-absorbed, their esteem is so low that they are willing to do whatever to be with a man.It's disgraceful that the "half a man is better than no man" mentality is more prevalent than respect for self.
According to this report, for every 100 Afro-American women there are only 85 men. Therefore making it hard for the Afro-American man to remain monogamous.( Which is the reason for the previously mentioned sex groups) Or, at least that how my mind processed this information. Someone, has to take care those other 15. And Lord knows the percentage of incarcerated or homosexual males can't. Ladies please explain to men how you justify knowingly sleeping with a man who is married ( or otherwise involved with someone else)?. Then PLEASE help me understand...Sleeping with him and not protecting yourself knowing he sleeps with others? Ain't that much love in the world.This is not intelligent thinking, isn't self preservation a natural instinct?
Then there were the brothers who are bisexual, who really do not want to let that information out.Which goes back to my gay rights advocacy. "Let these men be gay as they wanna be. Remove the stigma, so they won't get with me!"
The odds are stacked even more by these brothers. Women, not kids who don't know any better, women are being placed in predicament where they really have no choice. Many are contracting this disease from their husbands, the men who stood with them before God. How can you fight that?Your not cheating, your not messing with someone you don't know very well. This is the man you love and who supposedly loves you. Betrayal is hard enough to deal with, but can you imagine having to deal with this as well? Sadly, for all of our knowledge, there is really nothing we can do other than resort to abstinence. We don't have a solution other than to educate , but by now everyone knows AIDS will kill you and there is no cure.As a woman I am horrified, angry, sad and embarrassed. But, most of all terrified.
Monday, August 07, 2006
Wonderful
Today my little sister is 29. Wow, the little kid who used to follow me around, the kid I used to carry on my hip. I've had plenty of time to think about things lately. I have so many fond memories of her, our childhood. Or should I say her childhood. Once I was searching all over the house for a shirt I loved. I repeatedly asked her if she had seen it. I knew the last time I had it was hanging on a line ( and my mind wasn't bad then) When asked she claimed she had no knowledge of any such shirt. "No, I haven't seen it,No!" I went into my Perry Mason mode and she broke down and told me she had worn my shirt, spilled paint on it. She tried to get the paint out and somehow made a hole in it. The shirt was at her friend Sparkle's house( she was trying to repair it for her because sparkle could sew her butt off)but, the guilt was killing her. " Okay I wore the shirt!!" a tearful confession, after my endless drilling..classic! She never was a very good liar. I laugh now, not so funny then, I loved that shirt. It's hard to believe the lovable kid is grown. The fact is if you live.. you get older. My sister has bloomed into an amazing, thoughtful,caring, beautiful, talented young woman. Your little, big sis is so proud. Happy Birthday baby. I love you!
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
I Gotta Get Up
I am not one for the dramatics...BUT...My God. I do not know what a heart attack feels like, but what I did have had to be close. I have never ,ever felt a tightness in my chest like this before. I suffer from acid reflux so I was thinking I was just having an episode. So, I did what I always did, grab an GAS-X(Which I would gladly do a commercial for ) and go. People, when I tell you this works in no time for me, believe it. However, this time the gas in my chest was a little stubborn. So I drank a little tea. Nothing. Okay, hmm. Let me go get a cold, cold PEPSI...Because nothing on earth moves gas like a cold, cold PEPSI..Nothing. Oh yes there was something. There was the constant vomiting that came from this little stunt. And the shortness of breath, I was scared people. I mean REALLY scared. I called 911.
Turns out my gall bladder decided to check out. Stones ( that I was not even aware that I had, needed to go) along with it. So after a week in the patient estates ,I'm home. As I fumble around like Quasi, I realize how much I miss an other. As I was lying on thee floor waiting for the ambulance, with my life flashing before me, I realized that there are so many things that I haven't done. Not only want to but need to do. For me. So I may be down for a minute, but I'm coming back. Pray for me. I just Gotta Get Up!
Turns out my gall bladder decided to check out. Stones ( that I was not even aware that I had, needed to go) along with it. So after a week in the patient estates ,I'm home. As I fumble around like Quasi, I realize how much I miss an other. As I was lying on thee floor waiting for the ambulance, with my life flashing before me, I realized that there are so many things that I haven't done. Not only want to but need to do. For me. So I may be down for a minute, but I'm coming back. Pray for me. I just Gotta Get Up!
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