I made it! My mind is mush but I made it. I haven't studied this much in years. I really did think that my mind was just as fresh as it was when I was younger. Not! I was annoyed at first because I had to be up ( AGAIN) at 5 in the morning. I'm not a morning person. Never have been. So , of course, the reason for my memory being gone was because my mind was still in sleep mode.. Or so I thought. As the day rolled on I still couldn't remember simple things like... where I parked my car. ( I solved that by being early enough to park in front so that I can see my car when I walk out the door) Thank God no one else has the same kind of car . I don't remember numbers the way I used to or even names. I'm still pretty good with faces. I still recognize the woman in the mirror. Although her name escapes me sometimes. Mom? Hmm. Oh yeah, mom is the light skinned woman remember? Okay...St. Johns, lifetime supply please...

Is this forewarning? I just woke up and made a mad dash for the shower. Luckily I set my clothes out the night before and I have been wearing this doobie so all I have to do is unwrap it, style and apply my make up ( that would be lipstick, eyeliner and mascara )and go. Only my clothes aren't ready . I'm looking for my curling irons , because my doobie has become a don't be. My alarms ( I have two)... didn't go off . So, I'm grumbling and angry with myself for not setting the clocks. I'm thinking of what excuse I'm going to give ( because " I overslept" , just isn't creative enough) and really upset because I hate to be late. I notice that it's cloudy out today and it will most likely rain so, I'm mentally running through everything in my closet; that I would want to wear on a rainy day. I walk past my computer and notice the time. It's 7:42, and I think that maybe I shouldn't have taken this position because it's obviously driving me crazy. Because it's 7:42 PM...okay. I'm setting both clocks after this blog. Thinking of running out and purchasing a third...

It's that time of year again. I do this to myself every year. The tax man cometh and he comes for me the quickest. All year long I pay out the ass and at the end of the year I'm penalized even more. I don't live off my gross ya know... DAMMIT! Anyway, I will sit and wait with a million others who have waited for this day, because I owe and I know it. So I'm hating, I'm hating Sam and his cronies. I'm hating that I just got my social security information and knowing at this rate, even with my savings ; I will have to... 1) win the lottery 2) Become a very sucessful writer or 3) work until I drop dead because there is no way that I can live off the projected payment. Who calculates this shit? Can I have my money now please! I'm hating that if I were to drop dead, nobody could collect for me the money that I have already put into SS. I'm hating everything about this system right now. And since I'm full of hate right now... ( tangent!!!!!!!)....I'm still hating Alicia Keys and wondering how in the hell you win album of the year and only have two songs played ( over and over again) from the album? We heard the remix, the club mix, the mega mix, the latin mix, the ridiculously long ghetto mix, but it was still the same damn two songs . Yeah I said it. Back to topic... The tax man cometh and he comes for me the quickest, lest me prepare my offering.

I've had to take time to regroup.... Some things that used to be important in my life aren't anymore. For instance, I used to be so hurt when I didn't get along with everyone. They just had to love me, I'm nice. I'm friendly. Well now I'm still nice, still friendly but , if you don't like me I just don't give a damn. You'll never please everyone and life is too short to worry about it. It took me awhile to understand that. I have been studying for my job like I am back in college. It's a sad thing when you realize just how much of your memory is gone. Thank God I don't smoke...I wouldn' t remember shit. I've made a promise to myself to learn a new term everyday. So far so good. My block ( writer's ) is gone and I can think again. Now I have too many ideas. I miss my sister....