Smiling Faces

You ever find yourself hanging out with someone and wish you weren't. I went to a reunion of sorts with old co-workers. We were a great group of people when I worked at this company and I still keep in contact with most of them. But, there is always one. I never called her, never returned any of her calls and avoided her at work. Seems like she would get the message. She doesn't. She is an older woman, you know the one at work who takes on the motherly role. Thinks she has knowledge on every subject and tries to tell you what's up, from her view. I have a mother and the advice that she did give to others was wack. So I just always thought she was aggravating as hell. My grandmother used to call her type uncouth. She will ask the most personal questions, in front of everyone. She will invite herself into conversations that she is not involved in. She will tell all your business.
I take awhile to cozy up to a person. I like to watch and see if you are the type of person I want to be bothered with. If I get a bad vibe from you in the beginning, it usually turns out that was for a reason. That was the vibe I always got from her.
So, I'm making my rounds, you know working the room and I see her. I try to make a beeline to the kitchen to avoid her ass and I'm cut off. I can't turn around and go back because my girl is behind me. Aw, Damn. So I'm stuck. This is how the convo went.
She: " Hey girl, check you out. You've lost weight huh?"
Me: (Dry as hell) " Yeah a little something."
She: " Yeah,you look good. I just saw him, in the grocery store the other day"
Me: ( Still moving) "Really?"
She: "Yeah, he's looking good too. He still working for? Blah, blah blah.
Me: How does she know who he works for? I never told her. " Yes."
She: " Y'all been together for a minute. When y'all getting married?"
Me: I swear the whole room stopped. Like that old E.F. Hutton commercial. Most of the people in this room know he and I have split.At least three of them know this fool. And if she knows where he works . She knows that. I know she does.Now,I am just done. " Why?"

By, this time I have kept walking and finally made it to the kitchen. She is behind me and my girl is behind her. My girl tries to change the subject but, she is being persistent. I grab a cup and start walking through the kitchen back into the living room ignoring her. I am trying really, really hard not to tell this wench off. Although my respect for elders is weening. It is afterall, a party. I find the bartender, I need a drink. I turn around and see my girl has taken the focus off me, and I say a silent prayer. For the rest of the night I avoid her like the plague. While getting my coat she comes into the room and says " Girl don't you let ex make you sick".
Me: "What?"
She: " I just heard y'all split up.( Sure you did) That's why you are losing weight."
Me: ( staring incredulously) " Not that it's any of your business. But that is not why I've lost weight"
She: ( Actually reaching to hug me,until I put the breaks on her ass) "What's wrong with you?"
Me: "You". This broad is crazy. Then I did the best Dominique Devereaux impression that I could and walked away. She had the nerve to look hurt.