Yeah, this will be one of those rare occasions when I talk about my love life. I'm picky when it comes to the men I date. I am for a reason. I have zero tolerance for for bullshit.I'm open and honest from the beginning. I expect you to be too. I'm becoming unforgiving. ( Miss a step today, you'll be frying fish tomorrow)I say becoming because I think of the crap I've put up with in the past that just won't fly with me now. Thank God for lessons learned.Thank God for wisdom and growth. So I take my time, I try to choose wisely;But, my God has a sense of humor and what he sends my way sometimes...
I've been seeing this man for a minute. He has all of the qualities that rank high on my list.( Employed, educated,drama/babymama free,sense of humor and a smile that makes me melt) We really enjoy each others company.Even when we disagree,it done with respect. Doesn't this sound great? Of course it does. But there is always something. One thing, that monkey wrench. His monkey wrench is his family.Whom seem to think he is their chauffeur, moving company, babysitter, bank,and grocery store. He cannot say no. Ever.Ever, ever. I mean I love my family too and there is nothing in this world that I wouldn't do for them. But,my family wouldn't pimp me like this.This irritates the hell out of me and although this guy could be the one for me. I have to let go because I see the handwriting on the wall and I don't want to be the one to make him choose. I don't want to be that evil, hateful woman( insert expletive,here) who takes his time away from them.
7 comments:
wow! that is a tough one. it's a shame that you have to rid yourself of a good man because he can't seem to stand up to his family. the sad turn of events is that he'll continue to lose great women as a result of his weakness for his family or his aversion to saying, "no" to them.
I am on a positive kick. Let's look at this another way. You have a wonderful man, who gives of himself, selflessly. From experience I know that the way a man treats others he will eventually treat you the same. How blessed you are to have a man who will be there to chauffeur when you can not drive yourself, to move you into a wonderful home,to babysit when you want to go out with your girls, is finanacially banked and secure,and who knows his way around the grocery store. You are truly a blesssed woman. Think about it that way and maybe your resentment towards his family will be released.
I love to see a man with close connection to his family. However, he really does need tell them no once in awhile. Instead of me totin' you around, how about I take you to the DMV to get a license, help you find a car of your own, or help you set up a schedule for a shuttle (if that person older)?
He probably doesn't wanna look like the bad guy, but he does need to wean his family off him.
On the plus side, I'd rather have a man in my life who goes out of his way for others, than one who thinks that I, and the rest of the world, owes him something.
Is it that you don't like to see him being taken advantage of
OR
is the relationship with his family taking away from time spent with you?
Girlfriends I have tried to be both positive and understanding. To answer your questions on the one hand I do like the fact that he is selfless. On the other it's to a fault. And yes there have been times when Wendy was put on the backburner to go do something trivial for family. I mean how many times should I say,"Oh that's ok?"
on the other hand you DO have to teach others how to treat you! It's great he is close to his family but sounds to me like a gentle conversation about balance is the key. Ya know?
Hold up! Don't let him go just yet. I say he needs to know how good a woman you are to realize that when he marries or commits to you things are going and should change. Everything evolves Wendy!
I can say one thing you're not blind! Still, the benefits outweigh the losses in this situation.
The women here are levelheaded and gave you some great advice.
My final thought, pray on it before you let him go.
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