So Pissed Off

Ok. It has taken me this long to come here and write this. I was terminated from my job two weeks ago. Why??? I don't know really. I know what they said I was terminated for was bullshit. I have had to fire people before. After taking the proper disciplinary actions I pull the person into my office. I tell them exactly why their relationship with the company has to end. This is not what happened in my case.

I was nitpicked until I felt like punching her in the face.Even the witness she bought with her was looking like what the hell are you doing? I finally had to ask her why are you here? WTF!!!

I was leaving anyway, I think I am so pissed because they got me before I could get them. You know, you always want to leave on your own terms. You want to be able to do your best Dominique Devereaux impersonation as you walk away. You want to be able to say in so many words " Take this job and shove it!."

I know another thing that is getting me is although I had to go through unimaginable bullshit, I did my job. I did it better than any else who has held the position. Yeah I can pop my collar on that. Because it's a fact.

So, I'm pissed yall. Trying not to let the devil get the best of me. Because right now I have some rather vengeful shit going through my mind. Being at home will do that. ( I have cleaned and rearranged enough I think).

So send up some prayers for your girl to get past this. Let it roll off. To remember that when a door closes another will open. And that this too shall pass...

My Funny Valentine

Today, someone crossed my mind that I haven't thought of a while. I'm thinking it was because Valentines day is coming. We had very good Valentines. He was a very good man period, hardworking and educated with a sense of humor to boot.Although he was no Denzel, he wasn't Flav either. I met him shortly after I started dating again after my divorce. I wasn't trying to settle down.I was too young or so I thought, to be bogged down in a "relationship" again. I wanted to have fun. Not to mention he was looking for a mother for his kid and I definitely didn't want to become instant mom at that time. I wanted to tell him, I did. But if I want to be completely honest here I wasn't woman enough, yet. I thought I could play. I ended up hurting a great guy.

The next time I saw him was at my brothers wedding.He happens to be related to my sister-in-law(the world is so small!) Always a gentleman he carried on polite conversation but, gave me the look.... Ladies you know the look. The one that makes you do a double take and think in your head ( Oh, it still like that?!!!) But, I had a frog...a big frog. Probably the bigggest damn frog ever!!!!, at the time. Who I thought was my Prince Charming ,so I brushed the look off and we parted ways again.

The last time I saw him, maybe a couple of years ago now, he was a marrried man, expecting his third child and living well. Although I really hurt him all those years before, his smile was genuine when he saw me. I was happy for him, for his happiness. I felt,well forgiven for the wrong I'd done.


I was just wondering about him today; as we do when we think of the ones that got away. Praying that he is still blessed and that maybe one day I will have the opportunity to meet someone like this again.

Come to my window

It's cold. I do not like cold weather. I know somebody is saying 'If it was hot you'd be wishing for this weather'. Not I. I will take a warm sunny dayover this mess anytime.However, I WILL take a freezing cold day over no day at all. You feel me. Thank you Jesus!

Anyone have any suggestions for dry skin. I mean, goodness. I have always been dry but the older I get the drier I'm getting. I'm using what I always have Nivea and baby oil but it's not working. I'm looking like I work with flour and/or white chalk all day. It's downright embarassing. Suggestions are welcome!

The other day our my office was broken into and besides the computer they also stole the phones, camera, stereo. Out of all this the thing that puzzles me most is the phone. After taking inventory of things missing this put me off the most.t. I wanted to start singing that Sesame Street song " One of these things is not like the other. I mean can you even pawn a phone?Cocaine is a helluva drug!

Does anyone else feel that CyberDrama in your life means you need a new hobbie?
How is it that you can't stand someone you have never met?For all you know this person is only like this on the internet. This may be their outlet to act a damn fool and you are buying into it.

I can hear my nephew saying "thank God she isn't here to ask me three million questions" because he has started classes. And just for that I think I will add a few more...

Me and Mrs. Jones

How many times have I said I don't date married men. I never will ( knowingly) never have (knowingly).

Check this...

I dial a number it's not the correct number I say I'm sorry and hang up. Three hours laterI get a call. Asking did I call this number, I say no. Because frankly I had forgotten that I called the damn number. ( MY short term is shit). Mrs. Jones proceeds to tell me that I did call her phone because my name and number are on her caller ID. I say ok, I may have called mistakenly earlier. She proceeds to tell me how long her and Mr. Jones have been married. I'm not trying to hear all this crap. I tell her she has the wrong woman, and I'm sorry that I called and that she is having marital troubles. I hang up.

Do you know she called me again? Now I'm hot and Mrs. Jones is clearly in need of answers, counsel and meds. Strange thing is I didn't even ask for her husband.The person I asked for sounds nothing like Jamie. I explain this to her again,I also tell her that I don't have time for games or other peoples drama. She finally believed me and eventually apologized. She said " You know how it is." I felt so sorry for her when we ended the conversation because,I don't know how it is. I have been in love, mistreated, broken hearted. The whole deal. But I never blamed the other woman. I never checked my mans phone. Never resorted to confronting others.

Why are women so quick to confront the other woman, while the piece of man skates?
Why don't we put the fault where it should be? I don't understand this Shirley Brown(Woman to Woman) mentality. Did you ever really listen to the words coming out of her mouth on that song? If I had the gumption to call the other woman it would be to tell her to come get him. not trying to keep him. I know people stay in bad situations for whatever reasons. I can't knock what people decide is right for their lives. I am however thankful I have not had to compromise.

Tonight I am just praying this woman has better days ahead.

If You Leave Me Now

Ok call me crazy but, twenty plus years ago I boohoooed like a babe as I watched Angie's ( Debbie Morgan) gut wrenching performance when her man died. Jessie the kid from the rough side of the tracks who turned his life around and got the girl. Recently I heard he came back as an Angel. ( Because he died). Now I hear he is coming back again. In human form. Ummm, I see dead people. Is this a dream sequence? Am I suppose to forget? This is why I stopped watching soaps they go too far. What's next? Jenny really didn't blow up on that water ski?

Maybe we can get them on All My Children too. This storyline is as good as any.

We really need those writers back.

Anniversay

Six years ago when my friend Stephen a phenomenal writer by the way who truly needs to publish SOMETHING!!! , asked me if I had a blog, I didn't know what the heck he was talking about. I thought he was trying to say some undercover mess actually. But he invited me to his blog and as I read his words, I knew this was something that I wanted to do. I didn't have much to write that first day. I just knew I wanted to write. It was another outlet where I could vent. At the time I needed to vent ( which is probably why he asked if I had a blog) the things going on back then needed an audience. Either that or he was tired of having to hear my rant by his lonesome.

My crazy life was being noticed; I looked forward to coming to see who had something to say about my life. Who understood what I was going through. Who had some advice to offer. I hung in there , I made it through some crappy days. I've always kept a diary, but those are personal things. Some things I need feedback on, so this was perfect! I have run across some of the coolest, kind , sensitive, levelheaded, humorous ( nearly get me fired while reading some of you) blessed people in these six years. For those of you to the left of this post. My must reads. You guys really make my day, I am so grateful to have found you and honored to have you on my roll. Thank you for taking time out of your lives to come to the spot

Happy blogoversay to me. Here's looking to another year of good, bad , sad, joyful, uplifting, whining, venting post!

Can you stand the Rain

As stated my nephew has returned to my life. He was away for three years. When he left it wasn't under the best circumstance. He was heading on a path that our family did not approve of.So rather than be in or visit my family members in jail, we asked my nephew, what could we do to change the things happening in your life right now? What would make you happy right now? Being that my family raised him he was under the impression that the grass may be greener if he went to live with his mother.Partly because, although we never approved of his mother ways; I can honestly say that we never bad mouthed her in front of him.There was a reason he was with us but sometimes people need to find out the truth themselves.

So now that he has returned, he is a little older, hopefully wiser and fully aware of why he did not live with his mother the first fifteen years of his life. I can see the change in him. I hear him in our conversations and I read into what he is not saying. I know it was rough. Many a day I wanted to go get him. I wanted to drive up there and kick his mothers ass. But still felt that he needed to understand. He needed to be grateful for the "family" he had. He needed to see the difference in being loved and wanted and just being.

My mother took his absence the hardest. Like all her children she worried about him. I think she worried more though because we knew from jump what it would be like, where he was going. Knowing her pain was the hardest thing for me to deal with. But we made it. I feel although he is only 18 he understands now, that the rules that were in place were there to protect him. I pray the trails he has gone through has strengthened him. . I pray for his safety. He has his whole life ahead of him and so much potential, I pray he realizes this.

I Think To Myself What A Wonderful World

WOW!, The end of another year. I thank God for my life. As I reflect over this past year, I must say that I have no complaints. I am happy with most of the things and people in my life. My family is well, my job, although trying sometimes, I like. My nephew has returned to my life( Now 18 and seriously smelling himself). My godbaby is growing like a weed ( And speaking some language I will never understand ). I made no resolutions, I just take it day by day. I pray for continued blessings in my life. I pray for continued health and blessing for my family. I'm just happy I'm here to write this today. I thank each of you for dropping by and reading my words. I pray that each of you are well, happy and prosperous this new year. 2008, Thank you Jesus!!!!


Happy New Year!

Every Year, Every Christmas

I know, I've been missing in action.It's that time of the year again. Today my sister and I finished our Christmas shopping. There was so many people. I mean dayam. I really didn't want to be out there because last minute shoppers,really tend to lose their minds.Fortunately,we weren't out too long.

My nephew will be here this year. I haven't seen him in 2 years. It will feel good to sit down and talk with him face to face. I've missed that.

You guys know I miss you as well.I hope your holiday is filled with love and laughter. I hope you smile so much that your faces hurt. I pray for your health and safety. Be Blessed people.

Have a very Merry Christmas!

My Everything

I'm loving Chrisette Michelle's" Be Ok "and Mary's "Just Fine".



I spent the day with the parents yesterday. They are finally going on the cruise that we planned to send them on over a year ago. The journey we took to get them to this point has been one hell of a ride.

The first thing was getting a birth certificate for my father.That's easy enough right? Wrong, my father had been under the impression his entire life that he was born in Patterson N.J. So my sister and I sent for his birth certificate from there. Well it turns out they had no record of him.We went back to my dear father and explained that someone must have told him wrong because he was not born in Patterson. So now we had to figure out which parent told him wrong where the heck he was really born. You can find out an awful lot about someone on the internet.After finding his birth place was actually Jersey City we were elated! We received his birth certificate.

The second thing was getting a Passport. We soon found out that the passport couldn't be issued because the birth certificate was filed a year after his birth. Still him, just a year later. Go figure.Made no sense at all to me, but this was our gov't at work. Urggh!

So now they needed two other forms of proof of citizenship. Not marriage or work records. Not social security or pension records. Not Teamster membership or dues paid. A whole lifetime of memories none of that mattered. What they wanted was school records or baptismal records. Are you kidding me? Keep in mind my dad is no spring chicken. The school he attended to my surprise was still standing however the records ( over fifty years old)had been archived or destroyed. So we tried repeatedly to no avail to get some help from the people who originated the phrase " Hold Please".

Finally, in a last ditch effort to make this cruise a reality we called the church were he was baptized, some 70 years ago and the woman who answered the phone actually remembered the pastor and knew where the records were kept. Ain't God good?

We received his passport. They are already packed and just waiting to go.I told them both I want them to party like it's 1999 from the first moment they get on board until they get back.

I'm glad that we are blessed enough to be able to do this for them. I can't wait to send them off.