Again

How many times did you want a do-over? I know I wished for one after my disastrous marriage. I wanted one for my last year of college. I wanted one last week just after my boss called. BUT, if we honestly were given the chance to change a few things in our lives would we? Keep in mind that changing those things would possible change the outcome of your life now.Surely, I could have chosen to listen to my parents, his parents and damn near everyone that knew us and not married my ex. But going through what I did, helped me establish an independence I didn't have before. I learned to rely on myself. Sure, not finishing my last year was devastating, but by taking the jobs that I did broadend my horizons and put me in contact with many wonderful people that I may never have crossed paths with, had I graduated and taken a position within my major.When things go badly we kick ourselves and wonder why we didn't chose the other path.Not understanding that door closed for a reason. That path was blocked for a reason. You weren't given that option for a reason. The things that I have gone through, and done were already planned for me. You've heard people say God knows...He really does. You may not know why, at the time when you are in the storm,you want a do over.I understand I had to have a little rain in my life, so that I can appreciate the sunshine although I will happily admit that there by the grace of God has been more sunny than rainy days. But, I needed the push, I needed the pain, I needed patience, the shelter and the comfort. I needed to struggle, I needed to hold on. I needed to let go. I needed the love, I needed the friendship, I needed to know I was needed. I needed the frustration, I needed to hear no. I needed to hear yes.I needed to cry. I needed to laugh. I needed to learn. I needed to live. I needed to lie. I needed to tell the truth and shame the devil. But most of all I needed my past to mold me into who I am today,the woman I see in the mirror has made me proud because she has come a long way baby... and I 'wouldn't take nothing for my journey now'.