Monday, March 31, 2008

I Honestly Love You

- And I'm not trying to make you feel uncomfortable
_ I'm not trying anything at all




I'm 41 years old. I'm trying really hard to remember my 18Th year of life. To remember that I thought that I know it all.That my shit didn't stink. And I basically remember thinking that my parents were crazy and trying to ruin my life.I try to remember that because I am now dealing with my 18 yr old nephew. I really do not have that many rules. I basically feel like you are not a baby anymore. You have to wash your own clothes and clean up after yourself because, there is no maid service here. I will cook but, try to keep up because It's not an everyday occurrence. I will help you as much as I can so long as you are doing what is necessary ( work or school) to get ahead in life. Of the "rules" respect is a major thing with me. As long as you are in my house...you guys know the rest. This is not a democracy.

I will not in anyway tolerate any type of disrespect of my home or my person. My nephew is quite a handful. He has inherited the " Wendy's Family Name" mouth. I know because I have it too. I've always had it. But, when it came to my parents, my elders; I knew I had to curb it ( or die) . My nephew has not come to an understanding on that.

Yesterday, we were at odds again and I actually had to put him out. I think that act hurt me more than him. But he has to learn to appreciate the things people do for him. I think because we spoiled him as a child, he thinks that is supposed to carry over into his adult life which,to tell the truth,it probably would have had he done the things we asked of him. But as I have explained , he wanted to be a little thug instead. So, my family does not reward bad behavior, grades etc. But he remembers the sweeter side of life, and it almost seems to me that because he is in our 'good graces' again he "expects" us to just do for him. Well that ship has sailed. I am willing to help those who help themselves.


I have not been as angry as I was yesterday in quite some time. I do not want to be in that place. Or let me say I will not be in that place. Not in my own home. At 6:30, this morning, I let the child/young man in. He was cold, hungry and hopefully humbled. I can't say I didn't worry but, this was needed.I have spoken my peace, I have prayed and now I have to let God do the rest. He knows how much I love this kid.









"

2 comments:

chele said...

18 year olds are tough. Mine will be 18 in four short months and he doesn't generally give me any trouble. The one lesson he needs to learn is how to spend his money and not MINE.

Believer said...

I know that having him out all night must have been rough for both of you!

I'm reading a parenting book. The current chapter is about obedience and honor, and what makes them different. Good stuff!