What Are You Doing New Years Eve?

Although I have not participated much this year, know that I miss you guys and I wish each of you a very happy,prosperous,joyful, healthy and loving NEW YEAR.Stay Blessed!!

Reunited

Hello people! Hope all is well in your lives.This weekend I had the opportunity to hang with my very first love. The one who I knew I would marry and we would have the house the white picket fence and 2. 5 kids. We even had names picked out. Yeah, he broke my heart.The one who..well you know. It's hard to believe I've been knowing this man for over 30 years. Been away from him for almost as long and we fit right back in together like we never left. It was fun to reminisce about our young lives and how much fun and trouble we used to get into.He turned out to be a very nice man. I knew he would. He was a very nice boy. I took him to meet the parents again..well... now that he doesn't have to run for his life. He still broke out in a sweat though.That was funny as hell. My parents don't even beat people up anymore. (they will shoot though)

I think it's great when you have such an impact on a persons life. They never forget you.They always wonder about you and what you are doing. Many people don't get that chance. I'm glad I did. Reach out to someone you haven't seen in a while. It's great for the soul. Stay blessed!

Never Would Have Made It

Yesterday was my fathers 72nd birthday. I am so blessed to say that. I wasn't given the opportunity to really appreciate how blessed yesterday, because our family was hit with some hard news. My brothers best friend, killed himself. Even as I type these words I find it so very hard to believe.I was already hurt by the fact that he was gone, but my brother is the one who found him. I believe that hurt me even more because I couldn't imagine having to find my best friend dead. I can't imagine finding anyone dead. But for someone I love,it would devastate me.

People always say. " Just know that they aren't suffering anymore" That is what I pray for most. I pray that he is not suffering. I pray that whatever it was that led him to take his own life is truly over now. The hardest thing I know for me will be watching my brother go through this. I hurt more, because I hurt for him. But this too will pass.

I'm trying to be strong, I haven't spoken a word to him. Not yet because I know when I talk to him or see him I will fall apart. I have been blessed enough in my life not to know death. Not to have to miss love ones or bury them. I have only attended 1 funeral in my life. This will be the second.

I thank God for delivering me from my pain. For seeing me through when I couldn't see. For making a way, when there was no way. For giving me the strength I needed to go on. I pray he is at peace.

Live your life to the fullest Stay Blessed!

You've Changed

I know that it has been a minute since I was last here. I have been really busy with work and moving and just getting my life back in order. Since the last time that I wrote there hasn't been any major issues. I am still dating, but no longer in a relationship. (So to speak). Yet, I remain hopeful that I will find my soulmate. God just isn't done with me. I have been feeling lately that I need to do more with my life. I need to be more active in my community. I need to reach out to some of these kids. Try to make a difference. I'm just feeling like I am stuck. You all know that's not me.

My family is well. My father will be 72 years old tomorrow. I am blessed to have both of my parents. I appreciate their wisdom and guidance to this day. My brother and sister and the rest of the clan are fine. ( Although, my sis still refuses to have a kid) I'm going to give her another year.

So I am back to writing again. Sorry I have been away so long. I hope you all are doing ok. I pray we all prosper.

Until soon...be blessed!

Gone To Soon

I am in shock. Utter disbelief. The King of Pop, Mr. Michael Jackson is gone. May his family be strengthened during this time. Think of him what you may, you can never take away the fact that he was a musical icon, whose talents entertained us for decades. Rest in peace Mr. Jackson.

My Man

Today I fell out with one of my closes friends. Why? Her man, not mine hers. I hate to fall out with anyone but especially when it's foolishness. By the way, I have kicked my man to the curb. It just wasn't working out and NO it wasn't me. Back to me and my friend.

I spoke to someone and told them the whole scenario and they feel that I am correct. I feel that i am correct. I just have to get my friend to see that I am correct. She is a bit stubborn and I am too and I love her , but shit. Right is right and wrong is wrong. Her man was dead wrong. ( Nothing like trying to approach me or anything like that) but the situation was wrong. So in an effort to get him to think about the situation I spoke with her. It's amazing how friends can flip. I understand that it is her man and she has to keep her home happy, but damn don't flip on me. That is all that I am saying.

I am saying if you see he is wrong don't try to rationalize no crazy shit. PERIOD!!!

Slow Down

I must be losing my mind. In the past two weeks, I have lost my make-up case( left on a counter)as I removed it to get to my wallet. And who wants used make-up? You'd be surprised. Because when I went back to the counter it was gone.Two pair of earrings and then my wallet. Well, my wallet was stolen but,I still feel like it was my fault for not paying more attention to my pocketbook. Foolishly, I thought it was "safe". I hate to lose anything, ANYTHING!!! and most times I am very careful of my surroundings and my personal belongings. The process that I've gone through to cancel and replace my things will be another blog for another day.

I just have too much on my plate right now. Too many irons in the fire and I think I am getting burned out and scatterbrained. We all know that combination never works out for the best. I feel like, I'm hurried and thinking but not thinking.

This is not me, I gotta slow down...

Stay Blessed

Summertime

It's March. It is March and as I watch the snow melt out of my driveway you know that I am thinking...WTH. Talk about March Madness. Not only is it snowing, its cold here. I long for the sun beating on my head. For sweat, yes the kind that comes from just being too damn hot.(Not working out).I long for long days and short nights. For riding with my car windows down, or with my air conditioner on. Oh wait...the news says it's going to be 75 here this weekend...wth !!!

Pneumonia weather is what my grandmother called it. Still, I wish it would make up it's mind and just decide on warm, maybe even hot.

Other than the freezing of thine ass, my love life is holding on by a thread.Although, I have chosen to forgive his mother ( as I said I would from the beginning, I just don't forget) something is still missing. From our conversations, our time together is strained. Or at least that is how I am feeling. I try to express what I am feeling and I don't think I am getting through. And I am a great communicator. It's almost as if he wants to pretend that it never happen. Seriously, because now that I think about it, if it was mentioned I'm the one that brought the subject up.

You all know that I have asked God to grant me patience. And he has, I am soooo much better than I was. But, I also have ADD and I didn't ask for help with that and right now, I'm feeling antsy...the struggle continues....

Stay Blessed!!!

Dear Momma-Funny Valentines

Happy Valentines Day!

This post is going to be a bit unusual. This is not a post for my mother. Although I love her to death.I am involved with someone and happy with him. When we first started seeing each other we mentioned some things about our families. He did admit that his mother was crazy. ( yeah, I know we all have a crazy in the fam). I have my own drama with a family member so I know. But I never in a million years thought he really meant crazy. Straight jacket, need to be locked away for your own good CRAZY.

With out going into too much detail, I will say the events of this past week have shocked me. It began with a simple valentines gift and ended with me being called every thing, every thing but a child of God. I have never been involved with anyone and not gotten along with their parents. Mothers love me. Even after break ups they keep in touch. Wonder what the hell is wrong with their children, why'd they let me get away. So for this to be the case now is really new to me. I knew he was a mommas boy, an only child. But, DAMN his mother ( Who by the way was so in love with me last week) flipped so hard I thought I was in a remake of THE EXORCIST. And although this woman disrespected me in the worst way, I held my ground. I took the high road and what good would come from beating up an old woman?

The only thing that bothers me now is where will this lead us?( him and I) because although I can forgive. I will never forget.(Not even when her other personality resurfaces). And you can't really ask someone to choose between their own nutty as a fruitcake mother and you. Because it's his Mother.The struggle continues...

Enjoy this day, Stay Blessed!

AT LAST !!!!

Whether you voted for him or not, this day is profound for everyone. This day is proof that any one of us can overcome any obstacle. Whatever you are feeling right now at this moment in time, know that you have witnessed history. You have watched an America that you and I have only dreamed about, come to fruition. If only for today, when this man, Barack Obama's character was more important than the color of his skin. You can't help but feel emotional, as I witnessed our 44th president take his oath, with his wife by his side, with millions of people, young, old, black, white, rich and poor weathering the cold. Smiling like they were in the middle of the most tropical island. I was filled with so much pride and adoration. He addressed the nation in his cool manner that only he has. He was firm, strong, eloquent and gave Americans, all of us, a sense of hope. A sense that a new day has dawned. Lift every voice and sing!

The days ahead will be long. He will be over analyzed, criticized. He is but one man.

Pray for him
Pray for his family
Pray for this country

Yes we can, Yes we did! Congratulations Mr. President

Do You Remember The Time?

I am on the verge of 7 yearss bloggin' guys.Tomorrow is the day. This has been a very good outlet for me. It has allowed me to vent my frustrations, share my joys,spill my tears and Praise my God! I have met some of the most decent,funny, loving, kind, crazy,opinionated folks in this time. Words are powerful and the feedback/LUV I recieve from you guys is appreciated. I am grateful still to Stephen for asking me " Do you blog?"
Recently I have been missing, but don't think I don't miss it. So much is happening now...
Okay, don't tell nobody. Your girl is in deep. I like him. I mean I really like him. And you know what? I am so damn scared. I feel like I did with my very first boyfriend and I'm getting all fluttery inside when he calls me "baby" or the way he looks at me sometimes. Had I heard that line I just wrote under any other circumstance I would be putting a finger down my own throat. But,not this time and I don't want to let my guard down yet because....

I am guarded. I will find myself thinking of him and wanting to call but I don't because I don't want to feel like I'm putting myself out there. Maybe paying him too much attention. isn't that nuts? I know nothing in my past is this mans fault. But, all I know is I cannot repeat the things I did in the past. I can't/won't allow myself to ever be in that place again

"But when I lay in his arms, child it's easy pretending. This is a real fairytale"- Anita Baker.

I will quote a character from one of my own damn books. " If you get a scrape on your skin, you can put all the neosporin on it that you want. It'll never be that skin again, it's scarred." I guess that's how I feel. Just afraid really to open up.

He is a good man. I am a good woman and we deserve to be happy. So long as we do the work necessary. Respect each other and trust each other. Pray for me yall. I'm trying to be more KIND and GENTEEL being that some people( eyes rollin at them) almost gag when I say that about myself.But I really am...really...

Stay Blessed!

I Bust The Windows Out Your Car

Happy New Year! I hope you all had safe and enjoyable holiday season. I'm ready for 2009. I thank God for letting me be here to see it. Now, that I can breath a little more, I believe I can get here a little more often. The past few months have just been so stressful. I have a lot of reading to catch up on as well...



I don't how many of you are familiar with Jazmin Sullivan, but the title to this post is named for one of her songs. She is really a very talented singer, I had the opportunity to listen to her album (CD) and all I can say is a sis has been through some things. This song and I know this is not the way to react to any situation, but this song caught my attention. I want to go on record here saying, You should just walk away. Forget about it. Pray on it, let it go. I do not agree with her the actions she claims to have taken in this song , but I understand.