These Three Words

These may be the three most important words in the English language. Parents say it to their children. Lovers say it to each other. Teachers say it to students. Every now and again some may even say it strangers.

Some people find it hard to say. I don't know, I think because of the way I was raised it comes so naturally for me. Whenever I feel its needed in someones life I share these words. As I watch so many wandering aimlessly through their lives I often find myself wondering if anyone ever said it to them. I feel like yelling it from the rooftops sometimes. Especially if they are young people. Just chillin' not knowing what to do with themselves. Not realizing if only someone had just mentioned it. Things might be different. If only someone cared enough about them, or set that example for them.I remember when my parents first said it to me; I was complaining as youngstas sometimes will about things I wanted. Not needed ,wanted. My father called me into the den sat me down and said. "GET A JOB".

It stung a little at first I admit. So used to having my hand out( and having it filled). But hey, it was what I needed to hear.

You want to eat...get a job
You want a house...get a job
You want a car...get a job
You want nice things..get a job

Simple huh???

Ohh Lalala

Being I have been complaining, some of my girls have decided to "hook" me up. These are people who are supposed to know me, and yet they don't know me. You know?

Coworker M- decided I should met her cousin, how many times have you,people I have never met in my life read here"YOU MUST HAVE ALL YOUR TEETH???!!!" This is not an option. So dude shows up, he's dressed nice. He smells nice.Then he opens his mouth and the left side is just missing in action. Teeth just gone. And dude has adjusted to this and has trained his lip to try and cover it.So he looks sort of like looting lenny to me. And I'm waiting for him to say "Psst, can I holla at you for a minute". He was nice enough on the phone. But I couldn't get beyond the missing teeth.Are you kidding me? Keep it moving Brah, keep it moving. When I asked M had she lost her mind, she looked a little pissed. But damn, don't show me pics of your people from back in the day and present day is tore the hell up.

My girl L- Now this is what I am talking about. She is feeling me. Brotha had it going on. Currectly has a MD after his name and currently working towards adding esquire. Yes!!! I ain't saying I'm a golddigger. So we decide to meet for drinks, damn this dude boring. I mean dayaaaaaam, it was all I could do to keep from falling off the stool. When I went to the bathroom, I was ready to start a fire so they could evacuate the restaurant. Brotha had no conversation beyond his work. See, I told you I'm not a GD.

So I figured I would have to just go back to doin' me. Because my folks were obviously confused. I decided to go to the movies with Dude I met at the gas station. I need to get over "pretty boys" for real. This playa, kept trying to convince me to come back to his place. How many times do I have to say it Damn! I'm just so damn pretty ( I am) and he just didn't want the date to end. Do I have UMFUFU written on my forehead? In what lifetime would I come back to your place to talk? You couldn't possibly have anymore to say because you talked enough during the damn movie. I wished I had an eject button. His ass would have been airborne.

The struggle continues....

Fairytales

While reading in the blogosphere,I was reminded by Blujewel
of the woes of the dating game. Sometimes we as women get caught up in the fairytale.Most young girls dream of a prince ( so to speak) their own personal princes' coming to sweep them off their feet.Dating becomes harder because of the fairytale. Once we believe that we have connected with a person, we look for the next level. We want to define ourselves. Who am I to you? If we believe he is our Prince, well then I must be your Princess. But because of agenda,timing, gameplay, whatever the reason sometimes we just disconnect. The reality is there are no princes, there aren't always happy endings. When we realize this we are caught off guard, because we believe in our heart of hearts that if we do all the things needed to make our relationships work then everything will be fine. How many of our girlfriends have we listened to, and how many have listened to us going over where it went wrong? Sometimes there just isn't an answer dammit. You did everything right, you just happened to be with a toad. So what do we do? We walk around with one damn glass slipper searching for the prince again because we are holding fast to the fairytale. Heartbreak is a powerful thing. No one wants to be hurt. For some it breaks not only the heart but also the spirit.We as women have to ugh...for lack of a better term "man up". We have to stop letting our hearts be our guides because the aren't always on point. Being the more sensitive sex allows us, to forgive and forget more easily, all in the name of love. Let go of the Princess and become the Queen. How powerful I am? Once you realize this you free yourself. You will not allow toxic relationships to continue because you love yourself. You will not be so desperate for companionship that we will lower your bar and settle for whatever comes your way. You will not compromise your beliefs.You will not attract a prince,with his limited power but a King, who appreciates you and all your glory. Your story will be your own. And you will smash all the fairytales and that one slipper to pieces.

I just love the man

Denzel is too fine. He is getting better with age. I just spent the past two hours with him. Just he and I having our quality time. I love just watching this man walk. I'm no stalker. I say again, I am no stalker. But,I could easily become one for him. Now, I'm going to go pray on this. Stay Blessed and go see this movie. Bootleggers are running rampant!

Arthur

I used to be able to dance for hours. I was< the energizer bunny. Now, I have a three dance limit. I remember power walking from parties I told my parents we had a ride home from and making my Cinderella curfew!I remember playing endless games of handball. Running a million suicides,( although I hated them and my coach for making me do them)I couldn't do one now if you paid me.Not one ache the next day. As I listen to my body snap, crackle and popping, like my name IS Rice Krispie,I recall my great-grandmother talking about Arthur.

Arthur is bold, ruthless and ageless, he doesn't introduce himself and try to get to know your likes and dislikes. He just enters your life, he doesn't ask permission to hold your hands, rub your knees, back, legs or hips. He just grabs hold and he doesn't care one bit if you like it or not. Arthur entered my life around 38, and although I've tried to leave him many times, his jealous, stalking ass won't let me be. Each time he comes back, he comes with a hard lesson he wants to teach me. When I ignore him, he becomes downright abusive, sending sharp pains my way. I swear if I could catch him slipping I would bust him in the forehead with one of my cast iron pots. He knows, and every time he gets me it's on a sneak tip.

Most days I'm fine. Something about cold weather makes him even more evil.As I am typing this, this punk is messing with me. Making my fingers tingle and numb. Making my knees throb.

I used to be able to dance for hours...

Just The Two Of Us

I'm going to talk about breast so men,turn your head if you don't want to read about my woes. I've had these breast of mine for some thirty years now. I was an early bloomer, real early. I disliked my breast at first because I wanted to be like the other little girls and wear tiny little "T" straps. I couldn't. The problem was in 5th grade there were only two other girls who had developed as much as I had and we all earned the nickname "boomboom". Boys were dumb to us then, and their fascination with my breast caused me to fight them. By the time I was fifteen, I thought I would like them but large breast and basketball was causing me some problems. Other than tapping them down, I had no choices.Lord knows I should have invented the sports bra.At least been in on the prototype.
When I had finally grew into my breast. I learned to love them. But, I still don't know when they started to take on a life of their own. So to speak. I mean I've always had to deal with men staring at them,Talking to them instead of me. Fighting with them for attention is probably why I don't wear anything low cut, nor do I show much cleavage. They just ARE, and always have been.

I know I shouldn't complain beacuse women pay ( huge sums) to get what I have been blessed with but, sometimes I wonder why. Like today for instance. Now keep in mind I don't buy any cheap bras. Those just don't work for large breasted women. But this beautiful bra I had on today,ladies you know the cute sets we buy, it was sooo pretty. But this one must have been irregular. I have a mind to take it back because something is definitely wrong. I know my size and have for some time. I've been measured for goodness sakes! When I put it felt a little snug but I figured that was because it was new. By the time I got where I was going The TWO were trying to peak out from the bottom of the cup. No biggie I figured I would adjust the strap. Lawd,what did I do that for? You ever see women with that third breast thingy going on? Well I had a fourth. Of course I was too cute, to have four breast today so, I readjusted the strap. When I did that the TWO decided to really act a fool. They didn't want to stay even or inside. So there I was Four- breasted, lopsided lady. You can't get your flirt on looking like Quasimoto (hump reversed). So I decided to call it a day. The TWO are on punishment for showing out in public and I have tossed yet another beautiful bra in the don't even think about it pile.

Somewhere

Rant- Michael Baisden of radio and now televsion "Baisden After Dark". Asked this question on his late night program on TVone. Do you believe that men are incapable of being monogamous? 99.999999 percent of the women in the audience said no.His response was, if women truly believe that then why are we so upset when a man cheats.One of the panelist, sorry I forget her name stated there is also something called free-will. Which I totally agree with. Am I to excuse a man for his transgression simply because of his gender. Hell NO!!!, I expect to be treated with the same respect that I give you. I expect to be honored. I expect that when a man tells me that we are in a relationship that he will do all he needs to keep that relationship strong. I expect that if he should see something else he wants to try to he will come to me and tell me so, then let me decide if I want to be involved in a threesome.9 (That would be another Hell No but tellme anyway).Everyday women are tempted, everyday we smile politely and say no thank you, I have a husband/man. Hell I even make up men. Why can't men do the same? Why can't they be content with what they have.Simply because your testosterone levels are higher? So, women with mustaches or beards cheat more than woman with no facial hair? This is not a gender flaw that is psychological. Men have been conditioned to this way of thinking. If we taught our girls the same way then, we could say that women aren't capable of being monogamous.What it really is, is BS with a capital B. I am so sick of men using this tired excuse to wreck havoc in women's lives. Why don't we try to teach our young men that its not cool to bed everyone woman who is willing. It's not cool to deceive people. STD's aren't cool, heartbreak isn't cool. Multiple baby mamas' is not cool. Soon these poor kids won't be able to date anyone, anyway because they will all be related. Why can't we try to raise young men to be chivalrous, honorable men. Why can't we instill the same values in young men, we hammer into young women?

Ok, there are some treacherous, scandalous women too. I know. Women who do not care what relationship that man is in so long as he does for her. These women sadly do not care enough about themselves to look for honorable men. They are willing, to settle for whatever because they do not have the esteem or the mindset that they are worth more. I can only pity these women and pray that they wake up.

Enough said...single me.I can't forgive and forget repeatedly.I don't have the desire or capcity to tolerate bullshit. So, single I will remain,if that's all there is.

Does anyone else find it despicable that Monopoly now comes with a ATM cash card? Do we need to dummy down our children anymore?

If I Had My Way

Yesterday while I was listening to the Steve Harvey show,Chrisette Michelle-If I had my way was on . She sang this song and others live. This young woman can blow,sang, tear it up, rip it.This little sis(23) did things with her voice yesterday before 9 am than I can do all year. She did it so well, she impressed me so much with her vocal rnage and skills that I went and bought this album, sorry cd today. I only do that for Anita.If you are in the mood for a little Billie, Etta mixed with a little Aretha, Gladys and a heap of new school do yourself a favor.
Now you know this woman does not disappoint. Oh, by the way, in you are in NY she is playing Ms. Sophia, Sophia( such a pretty name) in the Color Purple on Broadway. Now her single Angel is very good. But Disrespectful w/MJB and Back in the day are on fire!...

I love music. You guys must know this by now. I love to hear talented people doing their thing. I don't care which genre you fall under as long as you are good. I've been dancing all morning. I better get some work done. Stay blessed!

Let It Be

So often I find myself at a crossroads, thankfully most times I have chosen the best path. I've never claimed to be a christian, but I do believe in God and I know many a day that he watches over me.I know most times I call on him, when things go wrong. But I'm not alone there. Today I want to thank him for the good things in my life, for the smile on my face.For patience. For sunshine. My family, my friends and yes even my job. LOL.. I want to thank God for my life. For carrying me and cradling me. For testing me, then giving me the answers. He knows all my flaws and he still loves me.I just wanted you guys to know I'm feeling blessed. Hope you are as well.

Party Up

Certain things just come naturally for me. People do things for me I say thank you, when I ask for things I say please. When I walk into a room full of people I speak. I say good morning/evening.Often you will find a smile on my face. That's just me, I'm not a frowner. I don't cause trouble, I'm not "catty". I don't buy into drama. I think I treat people fairly.

So anyway, the whole point of this post was to get off some steam because I was threatened with bodily harm this week and called a nigger.( Yes, to my face) Here I am doing my job and I have to put up with this. Okay, I know people can get heated when faced with certain situations. I understand that. But don't shoot the messenger. Especially when the messenger is me Me, who has been nothing but fair to you. Me,who has sat down and counseled you. Me,who has warned you numerous times. Me, who although I have never shown it, will become a damn fool and show you all kinds of ghetto if you put your hands on me. It was almost like an outer body experience for me. I'm not used to this shit,yeah I know some of these Caucasians I deal with may think it. They may even say it when I leave. But to say it tomy face? Then tell me that you will kick my ass? I felt like I was in a ROOTS episode.WTF??? All this southern hospitality is getting the best of me. I swear it took everything in me not to react.

In my line of work I come across so many different types of people.I don't give into the preconcieved notions some have. I give everyone a chance because I truly believe it's not where you have been but, where you are going, I only ask my people to challenge themselves. Most times, I am recieved warmly. But then there are those who just don't want anything more. They are content to stay where they are because it is all they have known. It kills me when they say," Well this is the ghetto." So many believe that because of their economic situation certain behavior is tolerated. Or even expected. Sometimes I just want to scream like Larry Fishburne at the end of School Daze, WAKE UP! Damn, it's 2007.

We didn't go to blows. Although it really seemed like she wanted to. I refused to go there. I refused to stoop to that level, not there on my job. Hell Naaaaw. All that talk and she never passed a lick. I think because my non-reaction to her words and behavior, really left her clueless. I remained the professional. But, I'd be lying if I didn't tell you that I was thinking..@5 p.m.'Meet me outside, Meet me outside, Meet me outside'!