Nothing Compares to You

This was an unbelievable performance.I just had to post it for those of you who didn't get the chance to witness these two remarkable women doing the damn thing to death! Bravo ladies!

Rainy Days and Mondays

My electricity went out sometime during the night so I was already late when the sun peeked through my window and tapped me on the shoulder. Usually the sun is not up,so I knew it was Very late. I wrapped my hair up last night, but when I noticed my scarf on the pillow next to mine, I was already dreading looking at the hair don't I produced in my slumber. One side of my head- the right- the right side of my hair is beautiful it behaves, it doesn't fight back. It listens. But the left, man. if it were a child I would have to send it away. It's special. Although, it did act right for a little while after I put my second relaxer in. Thank you Tiki for the suggestion of Profectiv. I will no longer use anything else! But you have to stand guard over the left side. You can't give it the benefit of the doubt, because it will act a fool. So by the time I reached my mirror it was already laughing and pointing at me, while my right side sadly shook it's head. The right side looked like the woman on the box, while the left was doing some sort of impression of the Statue of Liberty' Crown. Aagh! 20 more minutes, flat ironing...speaking of ironing. For years my mother has always ironed all of her clothes. I do mean all. Even sheets, but that is for another blog. She has a lot of time on her hands. But she always has at least a week worth of clothes ready.She always warns that I should do the same. But my hard head irons on an 'as needed' basis. Something told me to iron last night. But it was raining and Denzel was on my screen so I let laziness get the best of me. With no power, I had to come up with a wrinkle free outfit quick.So I am trying to look in my walk in with a damn flash light for a pair of pants that I may have ironed. NO SUCH LUCK!!This living in two places sucks!!! My dry cleaning is in Raleigh...So I'm left to wear a dress, which I didn't want to wear because now I have to buy pantyhose..shit. And where are my shoes?...in Raleigh of course. Not to mention the ash monster has really taken a hold of me and all of my lotionsand oils are in Raleigh too. So, I grab the Vaseline Don't trip y'all know your mother used to grease you down and put those knee socks on. So, here I am going into CVS with 1)a frown because I'm Late as hell and i hate being late. 2) Bad Hair 3)A floral dress with greasy, shiny legs 4)a pant shoe, sort of like a penny loafer 5 ) my dress does not have one patch of brown and my shoes are brown. I know the clerk was thinking, where is the fool going?...Lawd is it Monday!

Do You Love What You Feel?

I started working out today. I tried walking but it's too hot even at 7p.m.. So I thought hey, why not go to the gym? So I'm hyped, I have my work out gear, my Ipod and my determined spirit. I hit the gym. The treadmill was tempting but the stair climber was what I decided to try today. I set the timer for 15 minutes because I didn't want to over do it. Hmph... Reality check..

After two minutes I caught a cramp. Yes, I stretched beforehand. I stopped and it went away. I started again, it cramped again. The devil...trying to keep me from getting my workout on. Well, not to be deterred I decided that I would walk it out.I mean does anyone walk stairs for 15 minutes anyway? I need a flat surface. So as I was getting off...the young lady to my right said "You shouldn't stop, you should work the cramp out". What?? Mind you my leg feels like it will be in the shape of a pretzel if I don't stop. I said "I don't think so, I think I may have aimed too high today". Then she went into the everyone cramps at first spiel all this while still climbing and I believe her stair climber read 40 something flights. She was not winded or tired. No cramps and sis looked like she didn't have an ounce of fat on her, so to onlookers we probably looked like the number 10.But sis was really trying to be helpful, and she reset my resistance levels and I managed to walk a little longer..still not 15 minutes but I made it to 11. Maybe tomorrow I will get to twelve. She made this statement as she left "Don't worry, after awhile you are going to love it"...of course, of course!

Crazy

Thoughts...

I took one day. One. Uno. I come back to a damn pyscho ward. I don't understand. Why do I have to be here to make sure that you do what you are supposed to?

I took my braids out, then I had the bright idea that I could relax my hair myself... now I have an afro-perm. Normally I would fix this with a wig or weave but it's too damn hot!

I need to get my car serviced. I'm sure tick, clank, tick, clank is not normal.

My sis came back with us...I wish I were in Charlotte with her.

I'm searching for a fruit I can tolerate. So far a I hate apples, oranges, plums, nectarines, peaches and grapes.

I've lost 2lbs and I am mad as hell...

Although I wanted Larissa to get kicked off Charm School it was much more interesting with her on the show...

My manicure didn't even last a week???? Not going to her again.
And now that I think about it, she didn't want to give me those cute little slippers after my pedicure. She actually wanted me to walk over to the drying area barefoot...Yeah, she definitely gets the boot.

LOVELY DAY

Happy Fathers day!

Now that that's out of the way. It's the most wonderful day of the year. My birthday. The kid is 41 and holding...I had a good time. I went to Philly to see my sister, Mario Andretti the 2nd drove. ( that would be my brother) Of course he had to drive the whole way because no one can drive better or faster. A few times I had to let him know that I wanted to see 42.

I was happy to see my sister. I miss her face.After getting the necessities ( Cheesesteaks and Cream soda) we caught up for a bit. My sisters soon to be ex roomate was there too. He happens to be flamin' and watching my brother try to cope was hilarious.

We decided to go to Atlantic City, because I had never been. I lost, but I still had a good time. Of course they walked me to death again and If I never see another boardwalk again, it will be too soon.

Now that I'm home I'm bored and ready to go back. I found a roundtrip flight for 159...Hmmm...

Sometimes I Wonder Why

Yeah, this will be one of those rare occasions when I talk about my love life. I'm picky when it comes to the men I date. I am for a reason. I have zero tolerance for for bullshit.I'm open and honest from the beginning. I expect you to be too. I'm becoming unforgiving. ( Miss a step today, you'll be frying fish tomorrow)I say becoming because I think of the crap I've put up with in the past that just won't fly with me now. Thank God for lessons learned.Thank God for wisdom and growth. So I take my time, I try to choose wisely;But, my God has a sense of humor and what he sends my way sometimes...
I've been seeing this man for a minute. He has all of the qualities that rank high on my list.( Employed, educated,drama/babymama free,sense of humor and a smile that makes me melt) We really enjoy each others company.Even when we disagree,it done with respect. Doesn't this sound great? Of course it does. But there is always something. One thing, that monkey wrench. His monkey wrench is his family.Whom seem to think he is their chauffeur, moving company, babysitter, bank,and grocery store. He cannot say no. Ever.Ever, ever. I mean I love my family too and there is nothing in this world that I wouldn't do for them. But,my family wouldn't pimp me like this.This irritates the hell out of me and although this guy could be the one for me. I have to let go because I see the handwriting on the wall and I don't want to be the one to make him choose. I don't want to be that evil, hateful woman( insert expletive,here) who takes his time away from them.

Pure Gold

The other day I watched child protective services remove three children from a home that the mother is going to lose next week. Child abuse...the mother had no electricity, gas or water. For nearly two months.The children were sickly. It saddened me because I tried very hard to get her to understand how precious her children should be to her. What she had was a jones...not what you are thinking. She had it for a man. A no good man. He has her nose wide open and to her he is it. the end all be all. No matter what you have to say. Although he is the father of her children he made no effort to support them. He did however stay in the house; playing video games and no doubt drugging and living off her stamps and 236 a month. In my many conversations with her I expressed concern that she was choosing this man over a children. This felon, who had no intention of helping her or her children rise above their circumstances. No intention of standing up and being a role model for his three sons.No intention of marrying her. But she... just loved that man. This poor excuse for a man had convinced her that she didn't deserve any better. That her children didn't deserve any better. At 24 how is life this bleak?

I know people go through trials. I have been through some, who hasn't? But I NEVER stopped loving myself. I haven't been so disillusioned with life that I gave up. Perhaps that's because I'm an optimist. Perhaps it's because I was brought up in a household that nurtured my spirit and built my esteem. Perhaps it's because I believe God IS...and all things are possible through him.

So this young woman was on my mind.Wondering how or, what I could have done differently or said. I pray for her babies.

Easy Being Green

- "I'm green and I guess that's just the way I'm supposed to be."



How many strong,beautiful women do you know who are overweight? ThoseFAT( yes I said it,with an F. I'm one of them so I can call it what it is) women that have told society that what they think is a healthy weight for them is bullshit. Gorgeous ladies doing the damn thing. I know a few. But, until I read my doctors chart ( being nosey)...Don't get me wrong I'm 5'2". I knew I needed to shed a few pounds but according to height/weight ratio, I am OBESE. I rationalized that people carry weight differently, and there is no way on earth( even on the best crack you can get a receipt for) that I will get to 110-131(MAX) range.After seeing those words Obeseblah,blah,blah, obese blah,blah,blah obese...I told myself well then dammit that's what I'm supposed to be. I became frustrated with the whole damn process,why should I do this to myself? So I'm not a 7 so what? I'm not a 20 either. Damn you Lean Cuisine!!! I want a pizza, I want Breyers Mint Chocolate chip and Chip Ahoy cookies. I want a Pepsi! With all the caffiene allowed by law...
Obese...Ha!, I started thinking these people are crazy, and trying to make me crazy too...I had given up. Then I thought of the Big, Beautiful ladies that I know. And these sisters are fine,accomplished, fierce women, and they seem truly content in life and love.They can dress their big asses off and the confidence these sisters have is admirable. Then I thought of my breathing lately when I have to walk one step further than my car door. I thought of all the different sizes that hang in my closet. I thought of the heart disease and cancer that is in my immediate family and realized that although it may be easy. I can't be green.

Lean Cuisine's Tucson chicken is actually pretty good and so was the cup of Breyers instead of the bowl.

Party All The Time

My girls birthday was this past week so when she said, " Wendy you should come up here." I thought cool. A mini vacation. I could go chill in VA and get my mind right. The plan was to leave work at 3 and be there around 7. Seven-thirty the latest. When I pulled out at FIVE I realized that I may not make the party.Yet, I pressed on, despite the fact that she moved from Oceanview and I haven't been to the new place. So here I am trying to read my directions and drive. All while noticing that my surroundings look similar to that movie Wrong Turn. Not one to be caught by deranged,cannibals, I decided to toss the directions and find a main Hwy.
My friend has just turned 44 and I swear she could pass for 30. I told her she should bottle whatever she is working with. She makes me sick. She is a karaoke fool so of course her party was held at a Karaoke Bar. Sis can blow too.When that ended we went back to her place and sat up until 4 A.M. catching up. This was her weekend so I told her whatever you want to do, I'm game. She decided she wanted to go to the some museum and Colonial Williamsburg(Where she basically walked me to death). Did I MENTION I came from work? But, I didn't want to be the pooper left at home,so I went. On the way back she decided we should go see Spiderman. Which I thought was cool but my body was like. What the hell is wrong with you? After the movie, we went out to eat, then back to Karaoke. Damn I'm tired. My girl is not only older than me but she also has much more energy. Even after all this, she went into work today. I don't have to be back until tomorrow and I'm already thinking of excuses.

I used to be able to hang with her like this back in the day. Not anymore. When I got home today I slept for five hours straight. And I still feel tired. I know I burned both ends this weekend but, somehow I feel like I'm losing cool points.

We Are Family

Today my parents are coming for lunch. I asked them over for dinner. But my father feels if he is out after 6p.m. he will have to shoot someone. My father is the original Angry man, He has mellowed over the years but even at 69 he will still kick ass and take names. We've had our difficulities, but I've come to realize that it's just because we are so much alike. Today he will talk about things I already know ( because he has told me) about my home and safety. He will remind me I should lose weight and that I should really make an earnest effort to quit smoking altogether and stop bullshitting with my life. <- his words. I will say that I know, agree with him and hopefully he will let it rest.

My mother will try to redecorate my home. Telling me how whatever would look so much better over here or there. I will of course disagree. She will also talk about her head so bad that I will be hoodwinked into doing it for her. I really don't mind. I love her to death and have spoiled her rotten. I guess turns go round. She will mention my weight too. But not as bluntly as my father. She will joke about it.

My brother will join in. I have to say in this family you need a thick skin because we are not tongue biters. My brother will bring his daughter and I will try to make some sense of what she is saying. I thought that speed french she spoke was cute at 3 and 4 but now, at almost 9 that shit is bordering on the special.
I miss my sis the most, she is the most wonderful, selfless, artistic, beautiful person I know. And I'm not saying this because she has patterned herself after me. I say it because it's the truth and I miss her laughter when my family is all together.

I am blessed to have them all in my life. Even when they work the one nerve I have left. I know it's all love.