Saturday, November 04, 2006

If Lovin' You Is Wrong

Recently I mentioned that my soon to be 17 year old nephew was going to be a father. Not anymore. His girlfriend miscarried the child. I haven't spoken to him about it. I know that he does NOT want to hear my mouth, I haven't had the opportunity to speak with the young lady either so I don't know how she feels about it one way or the other. Being that she is older than my nephew I am inclined to believe she wanted the child. I know that I should feel something for her because her body, mind and spirit went through a life altering change. But I don't, I don't feel sorry for the lost. I tend to be liberal minded most of the time. Where my family is concerned that changes. If he were my child, I would have questioned from the beginning the motives of this 19 year old wanting to be with a 16 year old. Forget that, if he were closer I would have. I know he looks older, however the fact is he is only 16. I understand this was kudos for my nephew to say in front of his boys that he has an "older woman" with a car and an apartment. What is the upside for her though? She gets to tutor him. Given, the boy is nice looking, tall, athletic,talented, smart ( except for this stupid shit) but also still at home,16 and jobless. Which all leads me to think she is not the smartest cookie. I pray my nephew is more cautious in the future. I truly pray that this scared him so badly he never wants to have sex again. Of course, I know it will happen. But, I can still pray on it. He has so much life ahead of him. Fatherhood will come in time. I'm just so happy that it won't be right now. He is still a baby himself, in a grown mans body. The last thing on earth he needed was a child. He has so much more to accomplish, starting with a high school diploma . So by the grace of God this was not his time.

3 comments:

Jenell : BlakIzBeautyful said...

Hey Wendy,

I've never visited your blog before, but after checking it out I feel welcome.

I have a friend who was in a similar situation with a younger guy and I and many of her friends couldn't understand what it was she was seeing in this young man who had nothing to offer her. She was in college and working. He was in Highschool and unemployed.
They did have one thing in common--They were going to be parents for the first time.

So there are probably people on the other side of your situation who are just as confused as you are about this.

I to this day don't know what it was she was seeing in him.

Anonymous said...

This is one one of the scariest prospects of parenthood. I have a 13 year old, who is now 5'11 still growing, he has the body of a young man, deep voice and females are attracted to him like flies on honey. We were at the mall shopping last Thursday some older female type hormones running in overdrive sat in my seat (I was at the counter getting our food) I could hear the conversation very clearly asked if he wanted to hangout with another girl and get it on..... I'm like SHIZZA !! wait one minute here!! Like the typical mom protecting her cub I told her to pack her s*** off my table, he was only 13 and in the 8th grade!!
We had a long talk during the course of our dinner plus later and this was typically normal (according to him) that he is approached by older girls all the time. Yes I asked the question that was screaming in my head... He said noooooooo I've never even kissed a girl mom..... Years ago girls would not approach boys in this way... How times have changed , we must be prepared for every kind of scenario...

I like your Blog btw.....Alli

Wendy said...

@ Jenelly I guess I will never be able to understand when woman sell themselves short just for the sake of companionship.
@ Alli, I'm not a parent but I am most certain this would be even harder for me if he were my own child. Thank you so much for stopping by and please come again. I tried to post to your blog but the blog monster will not allow me to.